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Patrick writes:
During my daily perusal of the Fashion Police file, I noticed a phrase new to me. Before calling it to William Safire's attention, I thought I would let Isbadiddle readers dissect its meaning and the ramification of its use. The term is "going gyno":
[Begin E! Online Excerpt]
Thigh's the Limit
Britney Spears takes a short cut at the Television Critics Association gathering in Pasadena in a shocking micro-mini her publicist says is "her own". While it's definitely too minimal for mere mortals, the golden goddess known for her onstage maneuvers wowed 'em at the press conference when she crossed her legs without going gyno. To which we say, you go, girl. Gams like yours take minis to the max.
[End Excerpt]
Does this mean that when a celebrity takes of their sunglasses they are going opto, when they take off their shoes they are going pedi? And when millions of drunk frat boys lower their pants in the ancient full moon salute, are they going procto?
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The Webmonkey newsletter turned me on to Feral Cheryl:
From the front page's description: "She goes barefoot, has tattoos, dreadlocks, simple clothes and a handmade rainbow bag. She lives simply andwith[sic] a healthy body shape, and pubic hair, Feral Cheryl is a natural young woman."
Whoo-boy. I assume you'll be getting one for your child, whether son of Adam or daughter of Eve, for they can equally learn about the true nature of Woman.
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Four years after the failed 1997 takeover of America's airwaves by electronica -- remember? Chemical Brothers were going to be the new Nirvana, Prodigy the new Pearl Jam -- the purveyors of that unfortunately named catchall category quietly continue to produce some of the best alt-pop going. And much as it pains me, I have to give credit to the French. Indeed, two of the most acclaimed acts of the ill-fated non-revolution are getting constant spins in my Discman as I perspire on the subway and retire at the beach.
Continue reading "Music of summer...electronica's taking over" » |
Fess up, now -- what's the oddest/coolest/most-potlatch-worthy thing you've bought (or wished you had) on ebay, at a stoop sale, in a flea market, etc.? Requests for anonymity will be honored.
Trip Kirkpatrick is grooving to his find:
The coolest thing I have bought recently (since as we all know I buy cool things all the time) was the soundtrack to Jean-Luc Godard's Nouvelle vague. What's so cool about this? Well, rather than just another soundtrack, this is the sound track to the film. The whole kit and kaboodle. The entire 88-minute sounds of the film, on two shiny CDs. Unfortunately, there's no libretto, so I can only follow along as my ability permits, which is to say intermittently. There is, however, a nice pinhead essay (in French, German, and English) by a cultural critic about the movie and why it's great to listen to the sound without the vision. Big ups to Chris Molanphy, who gave me the gift certificate to Other Music, which is where I found this gem.
Alex Joseph bought:
Black Velvet San Francisco Painting That Lights Up
I believe I have the coolest thing. I would like to be buried with it. And yes, I bought it on eBay. It is a 6' X 3' black velvet painting of San Francisco that lights up. Yes, that's right. The cable car lights up, Golden Gate Bridge lights up. Not only is it exceptionally ugly/beautiful, the scale is all wrong, Coit (sp?) Tower is where Chinatown should be, the bridge is wildly out of proportion. That phrase, "black velvet San Francisco painting that lights up" has wormed its way into virtually every substantial conversation I've had in the past 3 months. Try saying it sometime.
I also have a raining oil lamp with a naked lady that slowly turns around, surveying the pink, plastic foliage at her feet. AND I have a lenticular. A lenticular is a 3-D image (think VuMaster) that lights up (notice a theme?). My particular lenticular features a witch, a pumpkin, and a green wall.
Next: Taxidermy.
Eric Lane bought:
On ebay, I bought a promotional jacket for the video game NARC. I haven't worn the jacket a lot, but when I do, people seem to love it. NARC was a superviolent game of my youth. It was a one or two player game where you controlled either a red or blue masked man who with his submachine gun would fight packs of drug-users, drug-sellers, and other drug related enemies (attack dogs if I remember). You'd also have to avoid the giant needles thrown your way. As for ebay, I have not yet given in and purchased a snow cone machine or a vhs copy of the film Ratboy.
P.S. I know someone who purchased live lobsters on ebay. Something about that bothers me. Oh, I also purchased a front row Beck ticket to his 2/15/00 show at radio city music hall. I had to meet the guy in an alley in times square at midnight on a wednesday to pick it up. I don't know why I felt that buying over ebay made it a safer transaction. But I did get to see the manchild funkster himself, feet away from me, perpetrating full-on rock-out explosions. I guess that's about it for ebay. Wish I had weirder stories. Over and out.
[NB: Meeting a guy in an alley at midnight isn't weird enough?]
Mike Everett-Lane bought:
Well, on-line, my best score was a talking Buttercup watch (for Debbie, of course). This watch is so cool. Buttercup is the most kick-ass of the three Powerpuff Girls, those kindergarteners who protect Townsville using their super-powers (think Sailor Moon 10 years younger). Not being able to watch PPG is one of the major drawbacks to going off the cable grid, but the watch almost makes up for it. It's huge, it's green, it talks and it has kewl animation on its tiny screen. Plus it has a tiny Buttercup figurine on it. Every grrl needs one.
Back in the real world, my latest favorite find was at our own stoop sale, which turned into a swap meet of sorts. I got a very cool straw-fedora-type hat for $1. It's my "daddy-o" hat -- I am now ready for fatherhood. (Well, at least I can look ready.)
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Thanks to Patrick for referring us to The Official Rock Paper Scissors Strategy Guide. Includes opening gambits, advanced strategy, etc. Wish I had studied this in third grade. Patrick also sent a smilie dictionary, which can be found here if you've always wondered what C=}>;*{)) was supposed to be.
Weird Emma has some distrubing, yet somehow amusing, bits of animation.
Colin Lingle wanted to tip us off to a few things:
One, on the topic of those quizzes mentioned in the last ish, here's one for you:
Al Gore or the Unabomber? Maybe if Ted Kaczynski was the candidate, Cheney and his bloodsuckers would have thought twice about stealing the election. Also, for anyone who is not familiar with The Smoking Gun: you are being watched. Probably. These guys are simply beyond.com. Among their many excellent features, my current favorite is the Adventures of Frank and Fritzy, irrelevant, inspired highlights from mobster tapes the feds made. The transcripts are funny, but you really have to hear the tapes. Seinfeld meets the Sopranos, for sure. Fuggedaboudit. Last, for anyone who didn't see it, Elmore Leonard's fantastic ten rules for writing. All the writers I know agree: it's gold, baby.
And Chris Molanphy puts us on to more movie debate...
Ty Burr, one of the more interesting critics at the admittedly junk-food-like Entertainment Weekly, offers a web-only commentary on the continuing debate over the merits of Spiel-brick's 'A.I.' here. My favorite quote: "[Spielberg] also goes all out toward the end with a trippy plot change-up reminiscent of '2001.' Too bad nobody goes to the movies on acid anymore."
[NB: I prefer "Spubrick" myself.}
Pity the logging industry. They face one of the most powerful foes in American Politics. A man so influential that he continues to mold the thinking of millions from beyond the grave. I'm referring, of course, to Dr. Seuss.
Continue reading "Propaganda for Kids!" » | Environment | Children's Books | Propaganda | Logging |
Thanks for the hilarious movie script rundown. I always knew I should have developed my own script idea, "There Goes the Neighborhood", which combined three of your five categories! Maybe it isn't too late...
Title: There Goes The Neighborhood
Log Line: When four little green men (literally) are rescued from their crashed spaceship, the US Government must hide them from the prying eyes of the media. Where better than the Federal Witness Relocation Program? The aliens are matched up with a notorious gangster and his moll, and the lot of them are shipped to Peoria to live as a family. Hilarity ensues.
[NB: If you steal this script idea, I know some small aliens who have become quite adept at breaking kneecaps. Got it?]
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The Brunching Shuttlecocks amused me, especially their quizzes, including:
Perfume or Marvel Supervillain?
Exotic Dog Breed or Medical Cure Found in the Wild?
Italian Sports Car or Impotence Drug?
Porn Star or My Little Pony?
Beanie Baby or G.I. Joe?
Elvis Movie or Cocktail?
See how well you score here.
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So, you want to know why Hollywood churns out such dreck? It's because it buys bad screenplays. Really bad screenplays. This site details script deals; I selected the most ludicrous-sounding from the past 2 months, in an effort to find out what really sells.
Twins:
Title: The Experiment
Log Line: A man meets another man who seems to be his identical twin and discovers that, as a child, he was part of a cloning experiment that the government and a group of scientists are trying to keep under wraps.
Title: Dating Nick McBride
Log Line: A shy woman must take over for her identical twin sister, a popular TV personality, in order to interview the world's most eligible bachelor.
Criminals:
Title: Scary Poppins
Log Line: A con man tries to escape the law and other con men he has angered. In order to hide himself, he poses as a nanny and ends up in charge of two very spoiled children.
Title: Truck 44
Log Line: A group of New York firemen plan to rob a prestigious apartment building, but when they accidentally set it on fire they must prevent disaster.
Unlikely Duos and Rag-Tag Bands:
Title: Boys Town
Log Line: A "macho" DEA agent investigates the murder of his gay brother. In order to solve the case, the DEA agent must team up with a gay activist who has ties with both the cops and the gay community.
Title: Liberty Street
Log Line: Two girls, one a ballet dancer from Beverly Hills and the other, a teenager from South Central, are ordered to serve time at a community service program, on Liberty Street, which helps get troubled youth off the streets. They learn that pain is relative and strength comes from within.
Title: The Inferno
Log Line: A rag-tag group of men must travel through the gates of hell and close them before all hell breaks loose on earth.
Can't We All Get Along? (Learning Life Lessons from Minorities):
Title: The Miracle Life of Edgar Mint
Log Line: A young half-Apache boy's life is forever changed when he is run over by a mail truck. Once out of the hospital, the boy begins to live with a Mormon foster family.
Title: Shining White
Log Line: A man in search of wealth becomes addicted to gambling and alcohol. After losing his family and his job, he rediscovers what life is all about through the eyes of a Native American boy and his horse on an Indian reservation.
Title: Black and Blue
Log Line: A black basketball coach takes over a Yeshiva high school team and tries to turn these guys into winners.
(See also Liberty Street, above).
Sex:
Title: Sex Talk
Log Line: A sports reporter finds fame by applying sports terminology to solve people's sex lives.
Title: The Girl Next Door
Log Line: A straight laced high school senior falls in love with his new neighbor, the girl next door. When the school discovers that she is an ex-porn star, he must risk everything, even his future, for her.
Title: Buck Wild
Log Line: Centers on male strippers and the double lives they lead -- normal workers by day, strippers by night.
Title: Two Sisters, One Brother
Log Line: A straight-laced accountant must team up with her estranged twin sister, a porn star, to rescue their kidnapped brother by pulling off the heist of the world's largest diamond. They turn to a wise-cracking black safe cracker for help, and learn that they're not so different after all.
OK, so I made that last one up. Just seeing if you were paying attention.
The best movie I have seen in quite a long while happens to be A Change of Habit, Elvis Presley's last film, starring Mary Tyler Moore. Mary plays one of three nuns who, for reasons that are never quite made clear, decides to go undercover as a social worker in some bombed-out neighborhood of Chicago. The three nuns wear high-hemmed costumes designed by Chanel and their dingy basement apartment is transformed, overnight, into the kind of bright place you might see in a Better Homes and Gardens magazine. The silly, naive nuns soon learn that they have to use sex to get what they want. In a harrowing scene, Elvis saves a girl from her own autism. Originally rated "G," the movie has enough racial, homophobic, and sexist material (Mary is raped by a stuttering, knife-wielding Puerto-Rican dude) to generate an "X" today. Elvis, contrary to rumor, does NOT sing, "In the Ghetto," however. Alas.
Next time: "Orgy of the Dead."
-- Alex Joseph
[NB: If you liked this film, maybe you'd also like Two Mules for Sister Sara. Similar setup: Tough Guy (Clint Eastwood) meets Nun (Shirley MacLaine) in Dangerous Territory (Southwestern Desert) with Armed Latinos (Mexican Revolutionaries).]
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I posted a review of Tsai Ming-Liang's Vive l'amour at my blog ::
http://members.toast.net/lazlokovax/blog.asp.
Also, another blog to check out :: http://www.textism.com/
Tk
Patrick and Katey write:
If you want to get the insight on how "edgy" "counter-culture" or "bad credit risk" women raise their children, check out Breeders, available at Barnes and Noble and the website Hipmama.com. This easy to read collections of short stories and essays describes what it is like to care for newborns, babies and toddlers without stability, stereotypes or health insurance. Makes a great shower gift (although not for us, we already have one)!
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Slate did a nice job investigating some plot holes in Memento-- don't peek if you haven't seen the movie yet (though I imagine most Ishbadiddlers have by now):
http://slate.msn.com/culturebox/entries/01-06-27_111073.asp
While the short article does call director Christopher Nolan on the carpet for several inconsistencies, the author patiently tries to offer plausible explanations, however farfetched. In any case, the article actually, oddly, ends up *enriching* one's appreciation for the movie somewhat. The fact that Nolan came up with a plot that tracks as well as it (mostly) does remains in itself an accomplishment.
Try this experiment next time you're in a subway car plastered with the new Bud ads. Observe the darkly lit, candid-er-than-candid photograph of the pretty boy or girl (your choice) bathed warmly in twilight or maybe red neon, longneck bottle held loosely in his or her gesturing hand, eyes meeting those of a close pal just outside the frame. Note the stately caption: "TRUE." Letting the cynicism rise in your craw, contemplate the promise this picture is really making. Maybe it's that once you've got your beer goggles on, your own barmates will look this cute. There y'go, Bud's own truth. God's, meanwhile, is directly below, in the seat you could have nabbed a few stops back. Now ask yourself, why ever did Bud's agency design this ad, knowing where it would appear? Why did they choose to juxtapose commercial "reality" with the empirical, honest candidness that can only be displayed by persons on their way somewhere else to impress someone else? Makes even that "Waaazzupp??!!!" thing look downright logical by comparison.
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