White House Downplays Veep's Influence Over Seasons

Washington, D.C. -- Vice President Dick Cheney emerged from his secure, undisclosed location to make the rounds of the morning news programs this Sunday, but then immediately returned to his hiding place -- indicating that America may be in for six more weeks of winter, according to experts.

While appearing with Tim Russert on NBC's "Meet the Press," observers say, the Vice President seemed distracted, looking over his shoulder repeatedly as if trying to see his own shadow. A review of the broadcast indicates that Vice President Cheney, in fact, appeared to locate his shadow towards the end of the program. He then abruptly concluded the interview, cancelled an appearance with CNN's Wolf Blitzer and returned to his secure, undisclosed location, which is believed to be underground.

Experts were divided as to impact of Cheney's brief appearance and sudden disappearance upon the duration of the current winter season. "You can read anything you want into Cheney seeing his own shadow and going back underground," one Cheney-watcher said. "Yes, it may mean six more weeks of winter, but it may just mean that he's trying to stay as far away from this Enron mess as possible."

At the White House, press secretary Ari Fleischer attempted to downplay the increasingly widespread impression that Vice-President Cheney can influence the seasons. "Vice President Cheney is a respected voice within this Administration, but he does not control the weather," Fleischer told reporters. "Only the President can do that."

From Nancy!

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