Ishbadiddle: Would You Rent an Apartment to Ol' Dirty Bastard?

Would You Rent an Apartment to Ol' Dirty Bastard?

Not 'an' Old Dirty Bastard, mind you, the Ol' Dirty Bastard aka Dirt McGirt aka Big Baby Jesus. I would never have expected to be asked that question in anything other than the hypothetical mode, but New York's a funny place.

A rental agent held an open house for our upstairs apartment in Brooklyn, and called us to say that Russell Jones, a rapper recently signed to Roc-a-Fella, was interested in our place (he must like parquet floors, I guess). She wanted to know if we would be willing to meet with him, his manager, his parole officer (!) and a VH1 camera crew to discuss terms. The only catches were that he needed to have an answer that night and he had to meet before his 9PM curfew. She emphasized that he was intent on straightening out his life and knew that the slightest violation of his parole (i.e. drinking, failing a drug test, skipping curfew) would return him to the criminal justice system. In addition, his mother would sign the lease and he'd pay a year's rent in advance. Really, she said, he's just a guy looking for a second chance.

I'll let you know what we did in the comments, but first I'd like to hear from the collective Ish as to what you would do in such a hypothetical (to you) situation.

CG posted this on September 10, 2003 7:54 PM

This post is filed under: Community, Featured Posts, Local News, Sounds
It is also indexed under: Brooklyn Fort Greene New York City Old Dirty Bastard Real Estate Reality TV

Comments

BC wrote:

I'd say no, because reality television is evil.

Comment #1 :: link :: September 10, 2003 9:00 AM :: homepage

matt f-b wrote:

Twelve kids with twelve mothers running around above my head? I'm softening! Just so long as he doesn't start downloading songs from KaZaA....

Comment #2 :: link :: September 10, 2003 9:00 AM

ME-L wrote:

If it meant I could be a regular character on ODB: On Parole? Of course! Then again, I'm shallow that way.

Comment #3 :: link :: September 10, 2003 9:00 AM :: homepage

matt f-b wrote:

"we hope you can understand why we want a security deposit of $10,000."
"The camera can come in only if the network doesn't show our faces or mention the street name."
"Now, does the parole conditions include limiting who you can have visit you?"
"When did you say the parole expired?"
"You're not from the Jamie Kennedy show, are you?"

Comment #4 :: link :: September 10, 2003 9:00 AM

Cebra wrote:

So, we forewent our 15 minutes of potential fame/infamy on VH1. (As an aside, I wonder if the explosion of media venues since Warhol promoted that notion suggests that the timespan of fame has also increased--do we get, like, 7.5 hours of fame with digital cable now?)

I called around to Chris and others who know the rap industry better than I do, and basically the more intimate people were with the industry, the more passionately they advised against renting. One former Def Jam manager I spoke with said he loves rappers , is the cousin of a rapper, babysits their kids, etc., and not on his life would he rent an apartment to one.

But the clincher was asking Nadine's Aunt Ruby, a weeklong knitter and Sunday churchgoer, if she minded living beneath an ex-con ("oh no!"), recovering drug addict ("oh no!") who goes by the name of Ol' Dirty Bastard (she's close to crying at this point). Decision made.

Comment #5 :: link :: September 11, 2003 9:00 AM

:r wrote:

I'd make VH1 pay to film you.

Comment #6 :: link :: September 11, 2003 9:00 AM :: homepage

ME-L wrote:

Yeah, but Chris -- you could be on television!

Comment #7 :: link :: September 11, 2003 9:00 AM :: homepage

Chris wrote:

Before Cebra posts, let me share, in brief, what I recommended when he called me to talk this out:

Whatever debt he's paid to society for his (admittedly fairly mild) crimes, ODB is generally agreed to be more than a little out of his gourd.
Rapper, rock star, pop tart, doesn't matter �- a famous music-business figure of any kind is going to show up "back at the crib" at 3 a.m. someday, posse in tow, ready to party. Loudly.
Having a year's rent in advance is nice, but at current interest rates, it's not interesting enough financially to take a chance on a paroled felon with camera crews following him around.
Having Moms on the lease is not as valuable as having Moms in the house where she can keep an eye on dear, wayward Russell.
Speaking of senior ladies in the house, Nadine's Auntie remains in the house for the next year and will be the one inconvenienced by any of the erstwhile Big Baby Jesus's antics.
No matter what, letting in the reality-show cameras is out out out, unless Nay and Cebra really want the encounter edited down to 90 seconds in which they come off as uptight yuppies.
Russell n�(c)�(c) ODB n�(c)e BBJ n�(c)e Dirt McGirt is not involved in any rap fueds I'm aware of �- the Wu-Tangers generally keep out of beefs; but then, nobody thought a year ago that Jam Master Jay had any enemies, either.

Bottom line, there are a lot of good reasons to turn this down, regardless of how one feels generally about reformed convicts, edgy rappers or reality television.