I spent the next several hours believing I was actually going to jail. I knew this nation's draconian drug laws, and worse yet, the jocular, simian photo of George W. Bush was hanging on the wall of the customs lobby, lurching over me with his moron eyes. I looked at him and thought, 'you have done more blow than I will ever see in my lifetime, yet I am going to jail because I have kidney stones.'
| Security | Essays | George W. Bush | Cocaine |
Wow -- I didn't know you could get out of trouble with the border cops by writing an essay! We should make high school English students read about this! Hey kids, if you learn to write well, you too can avoid being thrown in jail!
Comment #1 :: link :: October 29, 2003 09:00 AMThat was totally awesome. On the one hand, I definitely feel for the poor guy (thank God he was spared the oft-rumored anal probe treatment).
On the other hand, his blog entry has the feel of a Jim Anchower column, or maybe a segment from "Dude, Where's My Car?"
I love the whole, "so I knew about the unmarked Vicodin, and the unmarked Percocet, and the unmarked Klonopin, and the unmarked Xanax, but I'll be damned if I can figure out where that pesky unmarked Ritalin came from."
Or how about the whole, "I totally forget that bust in 1992 for having a hash pipe. And who knew that my license was suspended - news to me! I don't even remember the ticket!"
I also love the assumption that when they saw the "unmarked medicine bottle filled with white powder," they thought it was anthrax.
Hmmm . . . a disheveled computer dude with a suspended license, a prior drug bust, and a travelling medicine cabinet of unlabelled perscription/recreational drugs is found with an unmarked vial of white powder. What could they possibly have thought that was? I wonder?
Thank god he DIDN'T have pot (or coke) in his car. The essay would have had to be at least 1,000 words.
Hee hee. I do sound like Jim Anchower in that blog. That's awesome.
