sometimes i secretly wish bad things apoun my friends so that they will remember me and come to me for comfort.

I blame my friends for the stuff they didn't do.

I blame my friends for the stuff they didn't do.

I'm afraid of failure

I'm terribly afraid of making the wrong choses for college and a proffesion then widing up with little money.

I think im turning into an obsessive compulsive....I'm 14 and scared.

Ali: I'm not exactly sure why people are leaving their secrets here -- I guess folks are googling "Post Secrets." It's fine. But I couldn't let yours just go by.

Ali, I've been dealing with mental illness for much of my life. It's a hard thing to handle when you're an adult; it's even harder when you're 14. Everything's harder when you're 14.

If you think you have a problem with OCD, you need to see a professional. I know I sound like an ad, but talk to your doctor. Talk to your school counselor. Talk to someone who will listen and who can help you.

It can be really hard, I know. For some reason, it's hard to shake the idea that we can just think our way out of our problems, since they're "only" mental. But that's wrong. If you had diabetes, you'd see a doctor and start taking insulin. Mental illness is not that different.

Me, it took years before I could get myself to see a therapist. Don't wait.

im afraid of being rich again

All my friends know what they want 2 be when they grow up. But i dont and im scared that ill grow up to be nothing.

My mom used to have problems with her health.
every day i would go to school crying on the bus praying she wouldnt die on me, or wondering if she was okay. when i got home she would be fine but the next day i cry again. Shes fine know. I am too :)

I secretly wish that someone in my family or one of my friends would die, just so I could mourn their loss.

Also;;

50% of the time I lie. The other 25% I tell the truth, but I exaggerate it. 25% of the time I am too honest for my own good.

Also;;

I used to cut...

Not because I was depressed.

Not because I wanted to die.

But for the attention.

I secretly wish that someone in my family or one of my friends would die, just so I could mourn their loss.

Also;;

50% of the time I lie. The other 25% I tell the truth, but I exaggerate it. 25% of the time I am too honest for my own good.

Also;;
My boyfriend thinks that I'm not a virgin. My friends, family, and people I don't know... think I'm not a virgin...

I'm a virgin.

Also;;

I used to cut...

Not because I was depressed.

Not because I wanted to die.

But for the attention.

I hate the feeling of trust or love, makes me feel too vulnerable.

everyone knows what they want to be..except me

and i dont care

sometimes, when i think about my cat i imagine myself falling into an endless downward spiral to the bottomless pit of non existance. because she is all i have.

dear kia, dont worry about it.
i am sure you have other friends, it should be the least of your worries..seeing as some day your cat might just die, and you cant sit there worrying about not having any friends..make the move to start a new friendship or rekindle an old one.

my secret:

i like to give other people advice, becuase it makes me feel better about myself.

If I were you, I wouldn't like me either.

i get crunk off koolaid.
and when i do, i have sex with my cousin when he's sleeping. and when he wakes up, he thinks he had a wet dream.

i fuck my cousin each night when my parents arent home...we are 1st cousins and the thing is...i enjoy it...and he does too. except the only thing is...we are only 13.

also:
he got me pregnant...

and im keeping the baby...my parents think it's my boyfriend's baby (yes i have a boyfriend while fucking my cousin too).

and im not gonna tell my boyfriend about it and make him think it's his.

my family is super rich...
but i shoplift every single day...

they think im a good girl...

but they don't know about how i get drugs off the street and get PAID for sex.

they think they gave me the money, but they have no idea of the life i really lead.

my best friend doesn't know it, but i secretly have a crush on her boyfriend. she tells me all about his sex and how good he is in bed. but the thing is, i know how good he is in bed. he makes up excuses to meet up with me every other night.
also;
i'm a prostetute, and that's how i met him.

i'm a senior in high school and i have had a crush on my teacher for the longest time. he heard about me liking him, and we actually did something about it.

the thing is;
he's married, he's 35, and he has 3 kids. and one of them are mine.

it started in middle school in the eighth grade. my parents just got me a digital camera, and i told them i wanted it for a project.

the thing is i take it into the lockeroom and take pictures of the naked girls and stare at them. its my way of masturbating.

i have a crush on my best friend's mom. her mom likes me too. whenever i sleep over my friend's house, i tell her i'm gonna sleep in the living room and instead i sleep with her mom in her mom's bed.

I take my wife to nudist resorts because i like for men to see her naked, i love it.

I went to a small, Christian high school.
I used to talk to my 'cool' teacher online, until the day I found out he was jerking off when I talked to him.
I never did anything about it, and now I wish I had, because I think about it every single friggin day.
I feel dirty.
I'm terrified of my male professors.
I just want it all to stop.

I've had an eating disorder since I was in the 7th grade... I'm in the 11th grade now. At first I could control it, but now it controls me. It's terrifing...

None of my friends even know. The sad thing is that I don't think they'd care if they knew anyway.

i secretly dream of being raped...

;@ink about being with my boyfriend's best friend. Neither of them are aware of this.

I think I'm attracted to him because he reminds me of my ex, and both of them do heroine at times.

Maybe I just like dramatic relationships that end badly.

my secret:

i looked at porn over five times on someone elses computer, and they got in trouble for it. i didnt do a thing about it....

i was only eleven.

I secretly desire to pierce my eye with a needle.

Sometimes I wish I would die accidentally, just so I could have the attention of being dead.

i think about having sex with girls when i'm having sex with my boyfriend...

I'm afraid my boyfriend doesn't really love me as much as he says he does.

I hate myself so much I wish I'd go to sleep and never wake up again.

I puropsely make my bf mad to get him to break up with me. It never works and I'm glad it doesn't.

I've cheated on my the man I want to be husband 5 times. Each time it was with the same person, my ex boyfriend before him. I think I may still love him, my ex that is.
Also
Hes engaged, how perfect is that?

Sometimes when I'm driving I have the urge to swerve into oncoming traffic.

I'm not suicidal .. it's just an impulse.

Over the pass few years I been in love with my best friend...

A year before that, whenever I got online I pretended to be a different person.Someone who had a better life then me and can be open and honest and not judgemental...

later on my bestfriend found out about the person I pretended to be and fell in love with her...thing is I'm a guy and this is one secret I can't tell him...

The one Good thing about this secret is that he no longer loves her and I haven't pertended to be her for about a month now and I'm just trying to be me...and I hate it.

I wish I was raped in my bed so I would know that I was loved by someone who wanted me.

Emilee-My Dog smells really bad

Steph-My Horse eats its own poop n i like it

i sometimes want to become mute, just so i won't have to pretend to be normal anymore

I am in love with my spanish teacher from high school... The sad thing is he knows and he pretends not to... My major is Spanish... and I am going to be a teacher... He told me that I can be his student-teacher when I return... Sometimes I think he likes me too... I'm nineteen... and he is over sixty...

I secretly hate my best friend.

I Love Taco Bell more then I Love my Family

:(

I eat because I'm Fat, and I'm fat because I eat

I Get on sites like these to make me feel better

I wish I had the courage to live life and not just go through the motions.

i sucked his dick but makes fun of all the others who do it....im scared that he'll tell someone and i get laughed at...that's why i talk to him.. i hate him.....that feels so much better!!

im sixteen and have never kissed. whats wrong with me.

i only cry to love songs
cause i know i will never mean that much to anyone.

Everybody at work said I was stealing office suplies, They put up cameras and acted suspicous around me, I tried so many times to defend my good honor but they ignored me and continued to point fingers....I cried almost every day before work...I was innocent and they forced me to quit my job, now I am broke and loosing everything and I only wish they'd know how much they hurt me and my family....I loved my job and am having a very hard time finding another one...I hope they all rot in hell for ruining my life!

I Do it cause i have to...

I stay with my boyfriend because I love the memory of who he was years ago. I don't really like the person that he has become.

I'm depressed because I'm Overweight.... it bothers me that much I only have sex in the dark with my top on.

My dad is gay and he raped me.
I'm his thirteen year old son. How could he have? The worst part is, my mom knows he's gay...and she walked in on him raping me, and walked out.

The thing is... I hate my mom more.

i think that all the ppl that read these are just stupid ppl who should go to a bridge and jump off. I'm one of them.

I'm afraid to give love annother shot cause I don't want to be that vulnerable again

I secretly wish one of my friends would die just so I could give them a eulogy and be the center of attention. Sometimes I doubt my faith. I want to be spiritual and bohemian and free but i dont noe if im good enough. i worry i talk about myself too much and that i am too vain. i secretly dream of being raped and getting pregnant. this is the first time these thoughts have been anywhere but my head and i hate them even more for posting them here. i feel so dirty

I tease my brother for picking his nose, but when no ones looking I do it to

I've been with my boyfriend for two years, he has cheated on me twice, called me names and is falling in love with my good friend. My secret...I won't break up with him for the fear of being alone and never finding a man with a monster size penis like his that pleases me in all the right ways.

I secretly wish that I would get pregnant every single day....and have no regrets

I stopped hurting myself a year ago, but every day I wish that I could take a razorblade and drag it across my arms one last time.

Being an art major has made me begin to hate the one thing that has kept me sane since I stopped hurting myself.

Sometimes I don't know if I can handle it.

my friends think ive had sex, do drugs, smoke, and get drunk every weekend...but the truth is i've never done any of that and they like my better when they think i have
shows how much my friends really like me..

my friends think ive had sex, do drugs, smoke, and get drunk every weekend...but the truth is i've never done any of that and they like my better when they think i have
shows how much my friends really like me..

My father used to touch me when I was little. He has also raped at least 2 other women. My mom gave him soul custody because she had a gabbling problem. He got sick 2 years after he raped me and now he doesn't know who I am. I became a mute for two years because of him, and no one noticed. No one, not even my mother or brother. My dads friends also beat me. I developed an eating disorder, and I'm only 15. I wont cut because I'm afraid that if I die people will find out all my secrets and then I'd dissapoint them. I tried to tell my friends mom, but she called me a lier.

I'm a 72 year old War Veteran. Sometimes I wish that I would have been killed in the war, just so I don't have look down and see both of my legs gone.

I like to masturbate by imagining myself being afraid or embarrassed and then pretend that my favorite tv characters from my fav shows are helping me through it. I feel guilty about this sometimes because most of my fav characters are women, and so am I. But I'm not a lesbian.

Also:

I have a boyfriend. I tell him I love him. Only most of the time I don't sincerely mean it. I'm nervous about love because I don't like people touching me, but I want more than anything to have that.

i try my hardest to fit in and all i really want to do is stand out

i gave a guy i really like a hand job on the 3rd date because he asked me too, and he still has never kissed me.

So my boyfriend and I broke up a couple of days ago - 2 years completely down the drain. I got really drunk and smoked a lot the night we broke up and I was flooded with emotions that when I was walking over a bridge to a party; I wondered if he would miss me if I died or if he would stay at the hospital until I woke up...

I sometimes wonder, if he thinks about her...

I sometimes wonder, if he really loves me...

I sometimes wonder, why he's even with me...

I work myself to death because I don't want to think about the fact that my dad raped me over and over again when I was a kid. And then abducted me. And then the police got involved and he wasn't allowed to see me, so he stalked me for a while. And then my mum got a boyfriend who sexually abused me for two years and she would never believe me when I told her that he wasn't a nice person like she said he was. And I feel really weird, it's like I know that all these things happened to me but I can't remeber them, it's like I'm looking back on someone else's life and I'm totally detached. I think I'm cracking up. Or maybe I cracked a long time ago.
I try to force myself not to eat, partly because we have no money and partly because I like to punish myself for being such an awful person. But then when I eat I have to cut myself to punish myself more.
Isn't life fun...?!

I wish I looked more Irish than any of my other nationalities. Then the world would be easier for me to live in. I could do whatever I wanted without people acting racist towards me.

I really want to have a baby to piss off my parents but also because I really want one.

The thing is;
I'm 12 1/2

I read these and wondered how many were true...

Then I realized that I only cared about the people who didn't write like idiots.

The only secrets I have are other people's.

"I was raped."

The first time I said it out loud, I thought I was lying. But I never felt guilty. And then I started to wonder if maybe that was why I couldn't remember things when I was little.

The most disturbing secrets are the ones that are your secrets too.

I cut because I hate myself. I hate myself because I cut. The only reason they put me in therapy was because they didn't want me to kill myself. But not because they'd miss me. They don't want anyone to know what a failure I am.

I disappoint myself every day simply because of the drain on society I am. All I want is for someone to wake me up and tell me it was all a dream.

I secretly hate my best friend.

I couldn't bring myself to cry the day she died. I sobbed like a baby over a complete stranger the next day.

Sometimes I pretend to hear things or see things that aren't there, just for attention. Then there are times when I really do see things.

I am 43 years old.

I have never danced with a man.

I have only been asked out two times in my life.

And that was when I was thin.

Now I weigh as much as a panda bear, but am not nearly as cute.

And my mother asks me why I am depressed.

I hate her so much I think about taking the insulin out of her vials and replacing it with water so she would die.

I've found the love of my life. I want to spend the rest of my life with her because I love the way she smiles at me and the way she makes me feel. I love the way she loves me in return. She is everything I could ever want/ask for.

....the only problem is she's my cousin and I'm also a girl.

I= 0 l2 8 I l) l) 3 l\l

Awhile ago, I lost the only two friends I ever had... not that they were good friends anyway. I hate them for it. It was so selfish of them. They hurt me so much at a time when I needed someone to talk to, someone to help me.

I met a friend on-line. I have known her for half a year. She lives across the country, so I can't see her. We love eachother very much. Sometimes I get mad at her for not emailing me or calling me. It just seems to me that she can't make time for me. Her problems are worse than mine, but I think she could still take some time out for me. There are people on-line who bash me... she doesn't stick up for me like she should and she doesn't tell them how much she cares for me. Sometimes I hate her for it. But she is all I have, so I have to look past it.

Sometimes I think she doesn't love me as much as she says she does.

Sometimes I wonder why no one love or cares about me and my children.

Im in love with a boy who likes to run out in front of cars.Im getting tired of stopping him.

My dad made me have sex with my new dog that my mom got me for christmas as he video taped it and jerked off. it made me cry but 3 days later i got a boner while thinking of it and asked him to make me do it again. we have done this everyday for over 3 years. we have had to get over 30 new dogs. but we get money off dog/human porno

i hate my best friend too.

in the past two years i have thought about suicide just about every week i have done drugs been depressed and cry just about everyday my parents made me see therypist when i was 11 i told them i did need one and that there was nothing wrong with me i hate myself and hate my sisters who have both achieved something outstanding that i only wish i would someday be able to do my secret is that i know i need the help of a therypist and now i dont have it and im scared and dont know what to do

it me again my life is going down the drain i need some help before i end my life everytime i say im good at something or i know the answer to something everyone just critizes me and doesnt beileve me why cant i be some one who acvhieves more then then the average person i want it to be over but i need help i know my sisters and my parents look down on me and i know im a big dissapointment to my entire family and i want that to change but oi dont know how someone please help me!!

I hate that i'm not special

I hate going out in public because i see all the people that i'm not, they make me feel ugly and fat.

I'm being pressured to put on weight because my mum thinks i lost too much when i was ill, i'm scared of becoming overweight

I'm being usedfor attention by a boy who i love, i cant let go because i love being with him, he doesnt even know me and doesnt care

I think i'm loosing my memory, i used to be good atschool and make people proud, i don't understand anything anymore. I'm scared of being stupid

I just want to have one thing i'm good at, i dont think i have anything to offer

I'm 15 and have had enough of life

i hate these phony fortune tellers on tv selling their "special talent"...the truth is no real fortune teller would ever do it for a profession

i predicted two almost fatal accidents and my grandfathers death from a coffee cup...all came true within a year

the reason fortune tellers never go public is not because of extortion...it is because tragedies is all some of us can seem to get right...i have sworn never to do it again

but every once in a while i want to get up and look at my own fortune...in hopes that maybe i could find something fatal for myself...i want this guilt to be over

I use pens to I masturbate

Whenever I'm not with my boyfriend I fall back into the depression he got me out of.

I smile to stop from crying
*
I have molested many of my younger cousins
*
I enjoy the comments that talk about sex with parents or brothers or rape or ...
*
I want to be suicidle but am afraid of death
*
I want to die and see everyone mourn for me at my funeral.
*
I'm afraid of failure more than the average person
*
I want to be mormon (like my dad's family) b/c i miss that side of the family and how it felt to be young
*
I was in beauty pageants when i was little, if i would have stayed in them i would be thin...not like now.
*
i like reading other people's secrets...it makes me horny
*
I can't remember if i was molested
*
I love a boy, but i would have sex with my 11th grade science teacher in a second
*

I wish that I would become so sick that I could never leave my bed again, just so I didn't have to go to classes.
I have no idea what I'm doing with my life.
I really like my ex-boyfriend even though he is a slut and hope we hook-up again.
When I have sex I have no emotionaly attachment to the other person.
I've had a threesome, but I can't even remember the other guys face.
I love God, but I enjoy sex too much to stop.
I've never done cocain but I've always wanted to try.

Sometimes i wish i could run forever and never stop...

I hate my daughters father for being in her life. sometimes I wish he would die so I could keep her to myself.

I hate my daughters father for being in her life. Sometimes I wish he would die so I could keep her to myself. I hate pretending I don't mind her going to visit him and his wife.
I also amd happy my sons father has nothing to do with him. I am glad that he is a deadbeat father.

I dint give my son his fathers name because I was afraid I would h ate my son as much as I hate his father

I have nine guinia pigs becasue i can no longe have children.

I want to die but I have to many people depending on me.

sometimes i wish I was born to another family...and that I've never knew the one i have...

I prefure my dream world, where I'm happy and loved, to the real world, where I feel nothing.

I prefure my dream world, where I'm happy and loved, to the real world, where I feel nothing.

i just want to be happy. and no matter how hard i try i cant. i fake the smiles, i fake it laughs, then only time im truly enjoying myself is when im with my best friend. my dad saw on my web page it said i was bi. it was a joke but he got mad and told me to change it. now i secretly want to be just to get back at that bastard. most of my friends are gay and he loves them but he cant deal with me even joking around. i wish he'd accept me in whatever i choose to do. why cant he get over it. in all i dont feel loved. at all. and it kills me. i cry my self to sleep each night. i know other people have way worse lives but its hard to handle. and i find im most like my aunt who is in a mental hospital. my family just wants to put her in there for good. abandon her. like a dog, locked away. they lock her in there because she tries to commit suicide. i love you kathy and if they tried to lock me in there i would try to commit suicide too. wow this does make me feel better, like someone cares...

I'm terrified of dieing alone,
I haven't been happy since my mother died,
I was nine when it happened.

I've never used this nick and so far as I know, the e-mail address I provided is phony. But my IP address might identify me as a regular reader. But then again, it might not.

Cancer changed my life on 3 different occasions.
Now I want to save the world.

I'm 16, all my friends have or have all had boyfriends. I had one...I never saw him outside of work.
I've never been kissed, even the one girl in my group who hasn't had a boyfriend has been kissed (but I guess were the same, shes been kisses i haven't I've had a boyfriend she hasn't)

I sometimes sit there and wish that I was the center of attention

I used to cut for attention...now I cut because I can't live without it

Sometimes I wish I had an eating disorder so I was skinny...even though everyone says it looks gross, and anybody who says it gets yelled at by others who have one...

I made myself 'depressed' and I know it...I made myself hate all the things I loved because I wanted to be the girl who was depressed and wrote emo stuff everywhere...but now I hate that girl...

I used to get straight A's at school...now I'm failing...I feel like a failure...I hate the fact that my parents grounded me for not handing in one assignment...it makes me see how I was there perfect child...and now I'm there perfect child gone wrong...

I hate myself for all these things...

I live with my dad and is girlfriend,
She hates me I know she does,
I hate her too,
But I love to play with her granddaughter,
I wanna die,
The scars on my wrists,
They refuse to fade,
I'm only 14.

Sometimes i just wish i was the most beautiful girl so i could get ALL the guys attention and ALWAYS feel good about myself.

im 18
and the only kiss i've ever had
was from my gay best friend on my birthday
on a dare
that was 11 months ago
i pretend the reason that i don't have sex or go to clubs or have a boyfriend
is because of my religion
but its because im fat and ugly and i won't stand to be around black guys even though i'm black because my father made me hate them
and i wanna fuck my french teacher
but so does everybody else
and they're all more beautiful than i am
so i just obsess about him
and pretend he loves me
hmmmm

I'm 17, and I just found out I have Genital Warts.

Oh, joy.

Everyday I come home with another guy from school.
I use protection, but I don't even care. My parents don't care. And I DON'T EVEN WANT THEM TOO!!!!!!!!!!

;)

My dad sexually abused me when I was little (from around 4 to 7 yrs old i think) i didnt always remember or realize what happened. Memories and details r all so hazy. I'm so confused. I hate my dad but I hate myself more. I don't trust any adult men and it throws me off when someone is nice for no good reason. I overeat all the time and use to cut myself. My dad doesnt know i know. No one does. I know other people who've been thru so much worse, but i cant help feeling bad for myself b/c of what happened, and also empowered by surviving it. I'm 14 but sometimes i feel like i'm 1000 yrs old, like my heart is a corpse, i'm the ghost of someone who never got a chance.

i wish i had one true friend, but right now i can't trust anyone

I have two children, They are both my brothers but everyone thinks theyre my friends.

I still have dreams about my x.

Dido

I tell everyone I am gay so girls try and convert me.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!

I'm in love with my best friend.
I would do anything to be with him.
He's twice my age.
He's Married.
He's my Pastor.

i fall in love to fast, and it always scares them away.

I wish I could fall in love with someone who would never hurt me.
Although, I feel that will never happen.

I sometimes think I'll be a virgin forever.

I'm gay.

And now nobody knows it but you.

i want to be the other twin. i'm 18, never been kissed, had one boyfriend (who is now gay) and could possibly be obssesed in love with my once-best fried who i rarely talk to but think about all the time. i wish that one of my closest friends would die so that i could mourn them and have a legit excuse for being depressed.

i used to flip out and get all emotional with my boyfriend when i was bored to see how far i could go without him leaving me. when he stayed with me i felt loved, that was the only was i felt it. when i told him that i did this once he got really upset and left me.

I hate my sideburns. Im a girl, and even tho ppl tell me they are not that bad, I never wear my hair up coz they are long and not nice.
:S

I Hate being in public.
I always feel like im not good enough for everyone...

I have always plagerized all of my papers all through high school, I just got caught for one and they think it's my first time.

I don't care anymore.
I have no emotions except anger
I am unable to cry.

I am friends with benifits with my best frineds little brother. We have even made out on my best friends bed.

I have only been kissed by one boy, last year. Ever since we broke up I have been obsessed over him. I love him so much, but I'm too afraid to work up the courage to ask him out again, even though I think he likes me back.

The problem? I have a new boyfriend, who I don't love or even like. The only reasons I'm going out with him is because he loves me so much, and I'm afraid the boy I love will never love me back. I'm afraid of being alone.

My other secret? I would cheat on my boyfriend with the person I used to go out with. I'm a bad person :x

(I know these aren't the best secrets but I HAD to get them out. I'm too afraid to tell anyone.)

I found a lump on my vagina about a year and a half ago, and i'm too scared to get it checked out. I told my boyfriend and he got so upset, then i found a lump on my breast and pretended it was the one i was talking about before. I went and got that one checked out, and it was nothing. But my boyfriend said 'if it had been cancer you would have been riddled with it by now, you terrify me'. He doesn't know about the other.

The bad thing is, i don't care about dying, i'm just so guilty for lying to him.

i had a dream about me killing somebody...
my dream came true last night.

im sorry but im afraid do go to bed

I dumped my last bf because he ignored me and he started not coming home at night... my new bf is acting the same way now. I'm not sure if something is wrong with me or them. My ex now pays more attation to me than anyone now I want him back.

i never learned how to ride a bike

I hate myself... I hate myself for hating myself. It's a cycle I don't want to be in. I'm a failure at what I do. I can't succeedno matter how much i want to!

some of the people on here are sick...everyone has secrets....but common now...what the hell is this world coming to...the only secrests i have are secret crushes or little lies....u people are fucked...

my secret is that putting you people down..made me feel like a better person. sorry

i phone sex lines when my girl is out and replay the conversations in my head when we have sex

I have to reassure myself everyday that i didn't deserve what he did to me....

I lie. A lot. Even when I don't have to.

and I'm really, really good at it.

I imagine being raped cos its what i deserve, i want it to hapen so much, maybe then I'll have a reason to cut my wrists.

Some of you people need serious help and fast!! Don't waste your time telling the your secrets on here---- seek professional help now! And a specail note to VAIN*** : How in the hell can you want to be suicidal and want to die so you can watch everyone at your funeral? Since you're afraid of death and all that it really kind of defeats the purpose don't ya think?

I hate college. But everyone thinks I love it, and I never tell them the truth. I never will.

I am in love with my coworker.
He is 10 years older than me, and I think he feels the same way.
I am 16.

Every day, i wonder what what would be worse

throwing it out there

or never saying a word.

Hey chainsaw!

Do you not understand that sometimes these people telling their secrets will help them a hundred times more than "seeking a professional" If you don't have any problems good for you. Leave themm to do what they need to help themselves. They don't ignorant poeple like you commenting on their lives.

im a disney princess!
&
i hope you guy's feal better
HAVE A NICE DAY!

I have to feel loved to function.
I've done some bad things to feel loved.
I don't care if you're pretending.

I don't know who I am. I just make myself up as I go along.

i read everyones secrets just incase I might find someone with a wrose life and realise how good I have it...sometimes it works other times it just makes me feel wrose...kinda screwy in my head...I think I have a heart problem and I dont no what to do...not scared to die...but scared because I dont no who really cares or cared.

I keep secrets from my best friend... but i would have no problem telling a stranger.

I read these to make myself appreciate my life so much more than I already do.

I listen to NPR.

me and my ex-boy friend went out for a month.
i lost my virginity to him.

then he raped me.

he said he was sorry.
&almost a year later,
none of my friends believe that it ever happened.

my ex-best friend jumped me for "lying" to her.

..i only went out with him to forget about being gay.

i make up social&family problems.
i'm losing track of who i told what to.

i feel like it's all going to blow up in my face.

i only do it so i don't have to talk about what's really wrong.

everytime i see a car i hope it will veer off the road and kill me.

my friends rely on me. they tell me their problems and come to me when they are crying. they trust me.

but i couldn't care less about their issues.

i had a caring family, outstanding friends, good grades, a lot of skills, money and a great personality.
something i should of been happy to have.

but i gave it up for drugs.

now i have nothing.

each time i make a mistake there always big ones, because their always so big i wish something bad would happen to me so i feel that i have gotten paid back for my mistakes.

Some days my boyfriend says we are gonna get married...we have gotten very serious. I love him more then anyone could ever love another person...but some days he only wants to do sexual stuff and i feel like he's just using me...part of ym thinks the only reason he says he loves me is because he wants a mother more then a girlfriend...because his mother died a few months ago...i feel like a bad person for being mad at someone going through that much...worst part is, we are only 13, theres so much more time that i have to deal with this

Everyday I cry and tihnk abou dying. Everyday I think so much and I write, and use words like garrulous. My IQ's 180 and I wish I was stupid, so I could be happy.
But that's not my secret. The thing is, I'm getting low 70's and 60's in school, and I'm tohught of as the bitchiness loudest and most optimistic person in the world.

They told me I couldn't act...

I am afraid I am going to go crazy when my dad dies.

im in love with my best friend and i tell everyone that we fool around when we've only kissed once.

i tell him i want to meet his new girl friend and i am happy for him when in reality.. im just scared if i dont try to be friends with his new girl friend i'll lose him forever.

i changed the cigarettes i smoked to your brand.
i smoked pot because you did.
and i wore blue because its your favorite

I want to kill someone just to know how it feels, and know I could get away with it.

I'd like to think that at least that might make me feel guilty. Because I never think I've done anything wrong... I feel justified for everything I've done.

Just not good about it.

[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v653/foxie_plushie/addict.jpg[/IMG]

side note: I hate copy paste....

Even though I try, I can never seem to not look like a fool.

I am in love with the perfect man, but sometimes I wonder if he really loves me as much as I love him. And if he is compairing me to his X

I used to cut, and still.... slightly do....and I have an eating disorder. No one knows but me, and you.

everytime I'm laying in my bet alone at night. I dream about having a baby just because it would piss my mother off more.... I'm 16

My boss is $#@%ing psycho and I hate my job more than anything. I hate nutjobs, specially psycho ones. All they can do is $#!t on people.

I yelled at my boyfriend for cheating on me but in relatiy i was cheating on him with 2 guys.

We use to touch eachother just to feel what it was like... she was a girl and so was I... I was at the tender age of eight and she was seven. It went on for years and since the day I moved to the opposite side of the country I've been afraid to call her... It's been well over six years since I've heard from her, and I still dream of what she may be like.

i took my dads car out b4 i got my liscense and hit another car and my sister took the blame for it

i am obsessed with postsecrets.
go there now.
www.postsecret.com
-1-

tHE GUY ii liiKE SH0WSz FEEliiNGSz F0R ME
BUt ii`M t00 SElF C0NSCii0US t0 BE WiitH HiiM.

i have so many fucked up situations in my life- but it makes me laugh, not cry...

i don't know what exactly i want from life. mostly for it to be over.

i have this deep sort of paranoia that i was raped as a small child, but i have nothing to back it up. just this niggling fear in the back of my head.

i wish that JUST ONCE i could feel like my parents loved me.

parts of me are so scared of being different it makes me sick. i guess i'm just more afraid of being the same.

most days i wish i could just go to sleep and never, ever wake up.

.........................
i'm sorry for wasting your time.

im in love with my best firend, he has a boyfriend. I kno he doesnt love me like i love him, but a girl can dream righ?

im not planning for my future because i dont think i should have one...i think he should have killed me when he raped me, but he didnt so now im living a life thats not mine. it feels so wrong. im sad.

i feel like i'm going to explode with all my secrets.

i know i wouldn't like him anymore if he liked me back.

Hi i know what my boyfriends msn e mail name is. It is time2duel@msn.com i am only haveing it posted so here it is

i was raped when i was little, i blocked it out so much i cant remeber most of my childhood. it makes me sad to think about it because i really have no idea what i did for the past 9 years of my life. I blame him for it all. i wont block out today tho, today as a good one.

I pee in the shower sometimes....well most of the time.

I told my friend I had an eating disorder
and I made him promise not to tell.
he did anyways
so I said I lied.

I didn't.

I'm fourteen. I wake up everyday and wish I could go away. I'm to weak to even bother cutting anymore. So apathetic that I don't write poetry anymore.

I've wished to die, just to see how all the people I loved who never loved me back would react.\

I'm in love with my best guy friend.
he loves my best girl friend.

I've had three friends die in the last 5 months.

I'm failing at least one of my classes.

I started cutting myeslf again. My mom saw the bandages and I told her that I cut myself while I was carving out a print for one of my art classes.

I really just want to fall asleep and never wake up.

I cry just for the attention.... I am in love with my enemy... and i am secretly Bisexual

i know i'm bisexual, but i think i might be flat out lesbian. i told my mom about what i thought, and she said that she didn't think i was. it hurts when she tells me that my feelings and/or thoughts are wrong. i used to cut a lot, only a little now, and i used to have an eating dissorder, somewhat do now, i just want someone to love me

i know i'm bisexual, but i think i might be flat out lesbian. i told my mom about what i thought, and she said that she didn't think i was. it hurts when she tells me that my feelings and/or thoughts are wrong. i used to cut a lot, only a little now, and i used to have an eating dissorder, somewhat do now, i just want someone to love me

i'm only 16

He robbed me of my childhood at the age of 7. Now for 13 years I've been sleeping in the fetal position hoping he won't walk through my bedroom door, wanting to rob me again. Because of him, I could never enjoy the touch of a man, I'm always numb and sometimes I feel like I'm incapable of loving.

If you someone a christmas card with a robin on it it means you don't like them. The bigger the robin/more robins shows the amount you dis-like them. I get satisfaction sending robins to people who have annoyed me at some point durring the year. Not many people know about this, but its catching on fast in stowmarket, Suffolk. Luckily I haven't received any but when I see them in other peoples house I laugh!

Me and my girl have had sex more than 1,000,000,000 times in the last 36 months

I make stuff up so I can have an attachment to people and i like the attention. Sometimes I pretend that I have a dead sister

I'm not sure if I believe in love.

Sometimes I make gay jokes with my friends....they don't know

There's this girl, I make out with her all the time, she's a lesbian, I feel ill everytime i do it because I think she is unattractive and I know my friends would be grossed out if they knew that sometimes it IS willing...

I seriously think I'm addicted to porn

I almost had sex with a MUCH older guy in my living room when everyone was sleeping...just because I wanted to feel like i was straight again...and I have a thing for older men...

I posted a while back about having an eating disorder and not being able to control it.

Well, I come back here often just to read what I wrote b/c it reminds that I need to work to make myself better... So I'm not completly cured or anything, but I am trying hard to control it and to some degree I'm succeeding...

*The only thing that makes me truley happy is to see the numbers on the scale go down.
*Im scared 2 gain weight
*I have attachment issues
*I get jellous over everything
*Im so fake when im around the friends that hate me
*i wanna die at times just 2 see if anyone would really care
*im in love with my b/f and too scared 2 tell him

*The only thing that makes me truley happy is to see the numbers on the scale go down.
*Im scared 2 gain weight
*I have attachment issues
*I get jellous over everything
*Im so fake when im around the friends that hate me but i act like they r my best friends because i feel like i wont have any.
*i wanna die at times just 2 see if anyone would really care
*im in love with my b/f and too scared 2 tell him
*i know how 2 make a guy "fall 4 me" i do it often just 2 feel better about myself even when i dont give a shit about them.

my "best friend" is beautiful and popular. She lives the perfect life. Me and her were insperable since the day we met. last year i found out she was moving to the other side of the globe..the day finally came when we had our big good bye party. We sat there hysterically crying and hugging and then finally she left.
..i gotta admit i was more then thrilled 2 hear she was moving away. I was tired of feeling like shit when i was around her. I was friends with 2 be popular and be invited 2 partys.
the sad news is shes comming home 2 stay with me 4 2 weeks and im so not looking 4ward2 it

..Ive been able2 see and hear the dead since i was little. My great grandfather haunts my house and he used2 talk 2 me when i was little.There are more then 4 ghosts in my house and they all used 2 talk 2 me alot. I still see them "fly by" every now and then. I also see things b4 they happen.
..ive never told anyone because i know no one would want 2 be around me.
I also dont go 2 sleep overs because i get bad feelings when im at some of their houses.

i'm really afraid of the future. all i talk or think about is finally getting out of high school, getting away from my parents, all the things im going to do, and how school is a waste of my time and that's why i don't try. but honestly, i'm scared to death of what i'm going to do after school, especially since i'm failing. what if after school i can't do shit? what if i really do end up a bum or crack-addict. and yeah, my parent's are not the best people, and i want desperately to be away from them as soon as i can, never to speak to them after that, but what if i can't make it without them? i mean, without them fucking me up, i'll have to start ruining my life all on my own- those are big shoes to fill. i want to be a cab-driver/supermodel/humanitarian/gypsie/coffee-shop worker/writer/film-maker/photographer/actress/seamstress/rockstar/au paire/ trophy wife/etc. but what if i can't do any of that? what if i just fail? i hate where i am, but who's to say the future is any better?

Sometimes I wish I would be raped, because terror excites me and sex no longer interests me.

Sometimes I don't think you love me as much as you say.
Sometimes I know I don't love you as much as you think I do.

sumtimes i put peanutbutter on my self an let my dog lick it off

sometimes wen im bored i suck myself off

sum times i put my pecker in a toaster jus 2 c how it feel

sometimes i put pnut butter on my butthole and let my cat lick it out then shit in my hands and throw it at people

sum times i jus like 2 have sex with my step dad jim an cum in his mouth

sometimes i jus liek to fuck my mom in the ass and then suck my dads dick at the same time then after he cums all over me and my mom then i lick it off my moms tits and let my dad fuck me in the ass

wow u need sum help cuz that took alot of thinkin an if weird ass thoughts like that r goin through ur head like thatt hen u must b gay an that must b ur dream 2 do that

i was raped when i was 12 by my best friends cousin.

now, sex has no special meaning to me, i've been with over 10 guys since then...i'm only 15

i went out with my brothers best friend

but that's not the secret--

he was 27, was married with 2 kids...i was only 15

i'm the reason for their devorice.

the only reason i'm sorry is because of the kids

I've lost my virginity tonight...I'm 20 and I did it just to prove I'm normal.....
I'm fake on it since I'm 17....

I buy sweatshirts of really good colleges, and then i tell people that i go there, even though i could never get in.

I talk shit about people mainly because it makes me feel better about myself, but at least i can admit it.

im in love with her. im also afraid to be alone

I'm sorry that I treat you the way I do. I love you like no other but sometimes I feel that you want me to give all the time and You never give any for me. I'm tired of setting my self up to get hurt. I gave like this to all the others... you say you're not like them. Prove it. If you can't prove anything soon, I'm out. I'm sorry but my mind is made up.

I starve not only to be skinny, or because I don't believe I don't deserve to eat, but so for once my dad would approve of me...

A day doesn't go by where i don't want to kill myself

I love my boyfriend, and want to marry him, but i only have sex with him to make him happy... i hate sex.

Sometimes I fantasize about being abused. Is that normal?

I saw my sister have sex. I was curious so I tried it on objects and I liked it. I was 6 when that happened and I still do it. Few years later I was playing house with my friend and I don't rebebmer the rest only.... I might not be a virgin. I have no memories of my dad until I was 7
because that was when he came back from jail. I'm also told that he used to abuse my brother and sister. I'm constantly being remembered that I'm just like my dad. Whenever I get in a arguement with my family I start to break down. Because I think of my dad and that I'll become just like him. I'm now 15 and I see my dad every Sunday.

i love you so much but sometimes i feel that you dont love me back because you never call.

I'm a triplet.
And I hate my brother and sister.
Because they will always be better then me.

at midnight i kissed my friend,if only i went i could have kissed the man of my dreams

at midnight i kissed my friend,if only i had went i could have kissed the man of my dreams instead

I crave every sexual senario possible. I can't find a partner as horny as I i'm although many women say they are. I think they are afraid to live their fantacies.

I have a few...
1. I can't ever tell my dad Im gay, I'm his only biological child.
2. I stole my bestfriends girlfriend in highschool because I was in love with him and didnt want to see him happy with anyone but me.
3. I told my parents I was going fishing wit my buddies. I drove out of town and let a dirty old man use me so I could have $$$ for cocaine.
4. I blame myself for my friends dependencies, but I dont know how to help them.
5. my parents think im smart, but I paid for most of my grades.
6. I don't get in trouble because I dont get caught.
7. websites like this make me feel better about myself

when I read these I feel like some of the posts were written by my friends about me, when people laugh I know there laughing at me, when someone tells a secret I know its something about me. when see people I know doing something without me I know its because they dont really like me anyway and there greatful Im not around.

I like getting pissed on...

i pretend i am rich so people will like me

when i was 9 i told my mom i was raped by my dad

my mom told me i was just saying that for attention

she was right

why didnt you just give me the attention i deserved then!

I love to make up cRaZy secrets and put them on this website!!

I cut myself because they cut themselves and got attention for it.....

I have a weird feeling and reoccuring memories of being molested when I was young...im afraid I blocked them out.....im even more afraid that im subconsciencly making them up to explain why im sexually perverted...

I get really turned on by the thought of being raped

I had a crush on my teacher and he found out, he's my fathers age and married with 3 kids...we only kissed once but I despratly want more of him...

Last year my teacher raped me, and I enjoyed it.
My parents have split up and barely speak to me. I'm all alone in the world. My wrists are scarred, and i'm failing at school, because of all this i starve everyday. What is there left to live for?
The funny thing is, none of this is true... but i want it to be... it makes me feel sick, but happy.

You never call, you never txt me, its always me trying to get in touch with you. If you never wanted anything to happen, why did u make me fall in love with you. I wish I could tell you, but I'm afraid I'll lose you forever... You're already fading away.
I miss you.

when i walk i pretend there is a crowd of paparazzi in front of me, and that the pictures of me will end up in the pages of the hottest gossip magazines.

i have a lot:

i am white but wish i was black

i hate myself more then anything and think the whole world would be happier if i was dead.

i wish i was dead just so i could see who would come to my funeral.

my older brother's 8 year old friend payed my brother to let him make out with me and make me watch porn with him. he took the money and i had to. i was only 3 year old.

im scared that the pressure of life will be too big and that ill become an alcohalic like my uncle,gandparents, and mother.

i never get the guy i want and always settle for less.

im only 13

i want to cute but im afraid of pain

i either lie or stretch the truth a lot to make my life seem really exciting and interesting

even my mom thinks im ugly

my dad is a total pot head.... i don't want him to yell at me any more... he hurts me... i hate him so much i want him to die... i feel so guilty... no one knows it but me

i have to live up to this perfect family everyone in my house was a cheerleader... my mom and sister. my sister is so perfect in everything. i am failing and hate cheerleading. my dad yells at me all the time. my dad's a total stoner and is having an affair on my mom and i'm the only one that knows. i love my mom t death... and i hate my dad so much for what he's doing! and i know he hates me... i lie to him when i say i love him... my best friend doesn't care about me at all... i feel so alone and i'm getting so depressed... but nobody knows... i have to fit in... i lie to everyone to make it seem like i have the perfect life... but it's really falling apart... i don't know what to do any more i have no body...

i cut myself because im ugly and i have pimples

i stiiiiil havent paid tuition, and school starts back up in a few days. Im not registered for any classes, but im still planning on going. I dont kno what im gonna do when they kick me out of the dorms...i cant not be in school. I dont kno why i do this to myself. I want to drive into oncoming traffic...

i used to cut
mi mom has a probelm with drinking thats taking over mi life!

i cheated on him n im glad becuz it helped me find miself.

I hate how mi friends judge everything i do

i like him and i wish hed make a move

A couple secrets...

I have a boyfriend..but yet i still love my x. im so hurt.

My brother is soo mean to me. I wanna become a cutter but i have phobias where im scared of blood and sharp objects. I rlly dont wanna cut. thank god i never did and never wiil.

I wish i could make "her" stop cutting. :-( i feel oh so bad.

y do i love him?!?!?!? i would do any thing for him and he has no idea i even like him as more than a friend...

Everytime we say goodbye my heart breaks.

Im 16 years old and my mom found a used condom in the garbage. She and my dad confronted me this morning in how dissapointed they are in me.
the truth? ive had sex with my b/f 3 times at the house with out them knowing. They think it was my first time. They also think this parents dont no and they wold think im a "tramp" but there the ones who got the condoms 4 us.
i love sex. and im not gunna stop having it with him.

i still love my ex. i said somethings i shouldn't have.i am afraid we will never be together again, I think i even destroyed our friendship. i think about killing myself everyday. because i think of her every minute. i don't think i can take it much longer.
The only time i was ever happy in my life was with her and i am afriad i will always be alone and unhappy. why don't u LOVE ME anymore!?!?

What my parents don’t know won’t hurt them, but it’s hurting me. I’m 13 and I’ve already done drugs, given a guy a hand job, done shots and gotten wasted, smoke a cigarette and cut and burned myself. I’ve made myself throw up but just because I feel fat 24/7. My sister, my best friend, fucked her life up, was put in a mad house and rehab for a year and a half. She’s my problem, but also my friend. And now she’s accusing me of trying to become like her, when she’s the one thing I don’t want to be. But the worst thing is, that I think she might be right.
I go to school, and I’m the crazy happy, popular girl, that everyone (other than the people who spread shit about me) love. Then everything’s just fine.
But, maybe not. Because I used to be so good. I hung out wit the good girls. No guys. My best friend and I were so close, that we called eachother sisters.
Then I left, and now we’re so distant that we don’t even talk about anything when we do hang out. My new group of friends are the exact opposite of them. Drugs sex and rocknroll. It’s fun but it’s messing me up even more.

And I can’t stand this pretending.

Also, I think that I might be bi.

I’m dirty, I’ve gone too far, too far with everything.

And the thing I hate most is that I’m putting this out for the world to see, without the courage of my name. And by doing this I’ve become the self-obsessed selfpitying person I hate, I’ve become a screwed up person, just like everyone else, who feels the need to spill everything, everything that they’ve kept inside.

From the outside, I seem perfect. Athletic, good grades, lots of friends. But on the inside I hate my life and would rather be considered a screw up but be true to myself. I am one of the best students in my class, but I feel like i will burst and not graduate.

I don't know if I really like him, but the thought of him liking anyone else kills me. I don't know if he even likes me. I think he does, but only when he drinks. I can't see being with anyone else the same way that I have been with him, and I'm scared that I am now attached to him because of our physical relationship. I just want to be with him and only him because it's easy. I don't know what to do... we have a very strange friendship and I'm scared that things will be awkward and that would be horrible since we are next door neighbors at school. I don't want to seem vulnerable to him. ever.

People kno me as a happy, fun loving, energetic person. If they knew i think about killing myself all the time they would wonder why i always seem so happy....truth is i have no effing idea who i am, what i want to be, how my life should be and it would be so much better for everyone if i was gone. I smile because i dont want to let you down, I dont want you to kno how unhappy i really am. i realized today you couldnt care less about me so why do i even try any more?!?!? All i want is to be loved.

AHHHHHHHHH!!! i just want to yell at the top of my lungs!!! I HATE MY LIFE!!!! but i cant help but think there has to be more, so i wait. Im a hopless romantic and i like to think that my prince is out there waiting for me and hes going to make it all better for me....if only my life was more like a disney movie. Im a 20 year old virgin and at this point i just wanna fuck some random guy because i dont see the point in waiting for my prince....hes never coming.

I sin everyday...
But someone loves me regardless of my flaws...
I shit you not, his name is Jesus.

sometimes..i wonder if anyone likes me for who i am...and i lye to myself...repeating over and over, that he didn't leave me....because i wouldn't let him that far....because i wouldn't let him see my body

I was with a guy for a year that I met online. he thought i was 17 when really i was 15.We lost our virginity to eachother. im 17 now and he thinks im 19. my whole life was a lie to him, i had a fake job, fake graduation and a fake life. i was scared of losing him. we are friends and he still doesnt know

About two short years ago i was taken advantege of and the only people who know are my closest friends----And I'm only 16

About two short years ago i was taken advantege of and the only people who know are my closest friends,my brother and the guy who did it-----And I'm only 16

i miss her so much. i don't think she trusts me anymore:( i really want to die. just so i can stop thinking about her

Sam Smeels!!

i talk to myself and myself answers....

I masturbate to marilyn manson songs.

i read the comments on this site, and realised that my life is better than others. And, that keeps me alive.

I'm a plain jane on the outside. But, in truth, a lot goes inside my head.

I am afraid that if ppl reads my thots, they would run. I dare not bare myself, for fear i wont be accepted.

I am quiet because I aint sure if the things i want to say are the things u would want to hear.

I played with u because u were a likely partner for me, and i want to feel wanted.

My best friends make fun of me in class, they think its a joke but sometimes i wish i could strangle them

Im on my junior high schools volleyball team and i seriously think one girl should be kicked of the team......she SUCKS

I have really bad problems cutting and self harm. I used to bite my wrists till I bleed when I was 5. My mom found out I cut when I was 14 and nver sent me to the hospital.

I went to the hospital last summer to get away from my mom's boyfriend who controls her.

the sad thing is...

I miss it and want to go back.

But the look in my boyfriend's eyes is the only reason I don't go.

Im 17 and sleeping w/ my english teacher..., he's married and has a kid...but gods help me i love what we do, even tho it sounds used, we've even done it on the floor of his classroom before school...he's wife works at the school with him, i feel only feel dirty when im talking to her

I really wish he liked me.

I am afraid if he leaves for along time he will find someone else to love and forget all about me.

I was about to have sex with my boyfriend and i put the knee of my favourite jeans in paint

me and my boyfriend had the past sex partners talk and now I can't get the image of him sleeping with these other girls out of my head unless I'm with him.

I only pretend to be innocent, sweet and naiive around my parents so that can have a child to be proud of.

That's what I like to think, but they really couldn't care less.

i like to dream about me and my girl having wild, torrid sex. .. oh, and i'm a girl too.

sometimes i hate being a mom!!

*I've wanted to leave him for so long, he treats me awful. The only reason I stay is for his huge dick.
*He treats me awful and has no respect. My way of paying him back for all that is I've cheated on him more than 15 times, he'll never know.

He's taken away my self respect. Now any time I see a stranger look at me I feel like they're judging me and that they're better than me. He's made me feel worthless.

I've waited for him, I fell in love with him, and he went with someone else. I waited till they broke up, and now they have. I still love him. So, I will wait until he loves me too. I don't care how long it takes. I'll wait for him.

Please come to me ... I love you!

People think I'm a stoner. I've done it once.
People think I drink. I've never been drunk.
People think I'm happy. I'm dying inside.
People think I love him. They're right.

He makes life worth living.

I found out that my girlfriend had cheated on me and instead of just breaking up with her, I stayed with her for almost a year just so I could make her feel horribly guilty and miserable and cheat on her a few to get her back. I suspected she'd cheated on me more than I knew about so I cheated on her three times just to be sure.
She never found out about me cheating and I broke up with her at the worst time possible.
And yes, worst of all...it made me feel really good.

My boyfriend and I have sex almost every night. I love him so much I could never picture myself with anyone else...but the thing is...most of the time I have to think of someone else cause he doesn't do anything for me.

I have been dating my boyfriend for about a half a year.. but before he was dating me he had this other relationship of 3 years with this intelligent dancer. While he was going out with her.. he cheated on her with me. Now that me and him are going out.. I feel nervous all the time and I feel that he won't love me as much as he loved her.. and that he is going to cheat on me.. I love him so much.. and it makes me want to throw up and cry just the thought of him laying in bed with some other girl.. and I know he still loves his Dancer girl..

My brothers best friend called me every day for 3 weeks. We would talk for hours, and we held hands. I didnt just want someone to do stuff with. We never even kissed. 3 days ago he stopped calling. He has a new girlfriend.

I cant help but think its just because we never kissed.

I should have kissed him.

When I was younger, 13, I got a rush from telling the next door neighbors kid that his parents were never coming home. He cried, then I felt bad.

Also I have always had a fasination with babies private parts. Do they get turned on? I've babysat a lot and have always been scared that I wouldnt trust myself and I'd molest the kid or something. I never did of course, but the thought of just doing it or thinking that I was having those thoughts scared the hell out of me. I think I was/am just curious about bodies.

When I was 10 I watch my best friend try and have sex with her little brother on her canopy bed while he slept. It was the middle of the night and I sat on the floor and knew it was wrong but didn't do anything about it.

I take drugs every night and nobody notices

I read all these secrets and I ask myself: How much more fucked up life can get?

I secretly cant trust n.e body around me i hope they know that.

I'm addicted to porn, I watch it several times a day, everyday. I think maybe the reason I'm addicted is because of my high sex drive and the lack of intimate attention I get from my partner. I suppose its my substitute for satisfaction.

We were so close as friends. I really miss her. She betrayed our friendship. It became all about her. I really missed her. I would like to settle our differences, so I can be set free. It will never happen. I really miss her

When I got married I was still in love with my ex. My ex was terrible for me. I've been married five months now, and I am still in love with my ex. I haven't seen him in over a year, but I think of him all of the time. When my husband gets angry with me for anything, I blame myself inside for not giving him my whole heart; because he truly deserves it.

I was molested growing up, by my own brothers. Now there lives are so messed up, and it's the least they deserve for making their seven year old sister suck their dick!

I was molested growing up, by my own brothers. Now there lives are so messed up, and it's the least they deserve for making their seven year old sister suck their dicks!

everybody thinks im a stoner-i'v never
everybody thinks i cut-once
everybody thinks my life is perfect-its not
everybody thinks they know me-they dont
why do peole asume they know what i do and how my life goes. no where is my life written down. or how its going to be. I could throw everything away right now. but im gonna prove them wrong all of them.

when i was littler my dad would constantly hit me all the time i would have to wear long sleeves and pants-in the middle of summer. I remeber the day he tried to strangle me with a garbage bag. My little sister watched. Iv seen him get taken away by the police-and then laugh about it. I hate him it's been two years scince iv even talked or seen him. Im glad i hope he dies a slow painful death- i mean it to- to show him whats hes done to me and the other 6 of us. He just rejects all of his kids and i hate him. He hurt my little sister not physicly- he was her knight in shining armor he just rejected her like the rest of then he started hitting her to-i wanted to kill him hes the reason my life is screwed up and hes gonna pay-thats a promise!

I just got the best boyfirend in the world. I haven't felt any emotion in 2.......... none and I've been cutting, doing drugs, drinking everything just to feel. I feel so strongly for him. It feels like ever emotion I missed out on has come out at once. I never knew why I felt so bad now I do, I just thought there was something wrong with me. I was in 7th grade and with my first boyfirend I let him convince me I owed him for being there and I let him give me my first kiss and then he didn't stop, he made out with me, fingered me and made me think I had to let him eat me out. He made me do at least 4 times a week for 2 months. Thank you for leting me be alive again. Its only been a week but you told me your deepest darkest secret now I'll tell you and the whole world. You made me relise just because you ask me out I don't owe you and you'll never make me do it. I love you.

I dated my best friend's brother, and really, I wanted to have sex with the whole family.

I read all these and want to help everyone, just because that's the kind of person I am.

Everyone thinks I am so sweet and innocent, but I am the kinkiest person I know.

I would like everyone reading this to remember, no one can make you do anything! You have the power to do whatever you want! Be strong, Be couragous, Be powerful, Be a leader!

I lied about kissing him, i just didn't want to seem so less unattractive towards any one because i was 15 and never been kissed ( i still am!)

Sometimes I wish that I could just vanish - if only to get away from my psycho mother - and to see who would notice.

I'm in love with the man of my dreams, but lately i've been pleagued with nightmares that even he can't rescue me from.

I am slowly realizing that perfection is nothing but a fantisy... but then again, I like living in a fantisy world....

I read these and relate so well to them that it makes me depressed... then I remember that I have to make a difference in life before I will be missed...

I have many secrets that no one knows about me... here goes:

I push my friends away
I cut
I hate my dad
I keep telling myself I want to wait for marrige to have sex, but in reality, I just want to have a one night stand
I listen to other peoples problems to make it seem mine aren't so bad
I cheat
I steel
I lie
I never had a real boyfriend
I do "dirty" things
I think about killing myself all the time and try to think of how people around me would react
I don't have any real friends. Now that I'm at college, I realize that I'm not a good friend. I see people here talking to their best friend on the phone every other day, I don't have that.
When I go over a bridge I think about driving off, when I see a car coming towards me I think about driving in front of it
I really want to get high
I cry all the time, by myself. No one has seen me cry
No one knows how I really feel and I don't want them to
And the list goes on... I don't know what to do any more

Sometimes I feel so horribly lonely that I imagine my boyfriend sitting next to me, holding my hand, smiling at me and looking into my eyes.

In reality, we have been in this relationship for over a year and still haven't met.

My deepest fear is that we never will.

I have deep dark secret that knowone can ever know
It would be a tragedy for her not for me
her once"lover"
my best friend
I feel like i need to show her im not that gurl in the corner

I HAVE A DEEP DARK SECERT THAT NOBODY WILL EVER KNOW
iT WOULD BE A TRAGEDY FOR HER NOT ME
hER ONCE"LOVER"
MY BEST FRIEND

So, my mind thinks more than one thing at a time. It convinces me on to pretty much anything I lay on the table... I'm constantly worried that I'm sick with aids... I'm worried I have multiple personalities... I feel like at any moment, I am going to drop dead. Lately, my mind is trying to convince me I'm gay. I personally don't think I am but it seems like my mind is making me! I'm in love and I can't have good sex because it is all I can think about! We're not getting along lately and I'm feeling like it's all based on this constant trauma and teasing my brain is doing to me.
I don't know what to do with myself.

People wonder if some people's secrets here are true...but I know that they are because even if the poster was lying, someone can relate.

~I was molested by my uncle when I was 4-6 and didn't admit it to anyone until I was 17.
~I witnessed my dad try to kill my mom when I was about 4, and they don't know I remember.
~My curiosity about what the future holds is the only reason I haven't committed suicide.
~We just got word that my mother has cancer again. but this time, there is nothing they can do about it.
~I was taken advantage of by my cousin who thought I was sleeping. When he found Out I knew, he used me even more...and I allowed it.
~I sometimes wish someone in my family would die so I can be emo and have more attention.
~I fear I am convincing myself I like a guy who is 9 years older than me, just because he gives me attention
~I often get the urge to drive wrecklessly on the freeway to get in a fatal 'accident'...I haven't because I fear I may live through it.
~I don't know who I am.

.I hate eating in front of my mom because she thinks i'm fat

.I tell people that i've gone all the way with guys, but in reality I haven't even been kissed.

.Sometimes I get so depressed, and I don't know why

I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND MORE THAN SHE LOVES ME...
..i hate it

I am in love with someone I can never ever have.

And the only time I can cry is when I listen to Okkervil River's music, because they are the only thing that knows exactly what to say to me.

I am in love with someone I can never ever have.

And the only time I can cry is when I listen to Okkervil River's music, because they are the only people who know exactly what to say to me.

sometimes i feel like going over the edge

I just got the most amazing flowers delivered to my school from my boyfriend and i want to just go show them to everyone to make them jealous that I have an awesome boyfriend and they don't!

I HATE PEOPLE!

Sometimes I dream that I am going to be hurt, just because I know it will eventually happen

I like 2 dudes that dosent notice me.Ive liked them for 5 years Ive never been kissed and im 17 and ive had one bf and now hes gay. Im scared to die alone and im not willing to take chances. im afraid of rejection.

Im married and the only person i loved was at my wedding reception.

I love my friends more than anything. Even though I sometimes worry that they only pretend to like me.

I like her. But I hate her when she's with him.

I'm a bisexual girl. I think straight sex is weird. I don't pay attention to gender. Whenever I crush on guys, I sometimes feel like I'm a guy too.

I was happy when my grandma died. I was happy when my dad died. But I don't want my mom to die yet, because if she did I'd have to live with my sister, and I don't want to leave my friends.

I've finally done it... I've cheated. I brought a guy home that I knew very little about. Just that he was very hott and i was very intrested in him for a while. Whe chilled and I just brought him home and the deed was done.
I feel even worse because I liked it... he was the best I've ever had.... better than you.....and if i have the chance I think i might do it again...
I'm sorry... Very Truely Sorry... he's my friend...and I think that how things started...

I think its the distance. I'll never tell you because I know you'll leave for good.... I don't think I can handle that. I'm sorry.

I watched my father try to kill my mother, And I am doing fine in life.

i've done it.
anything you name.

i don't have any regrets.

I sometimes wish I had not been born.

I DAY DREAM ABOUT BRINGIN A GUN TO SCHOOL AND TELLING EVERYONE THAT I CANT STAND HAVING A HORRIBLE LIFE AND BEING DEPRESSED AND THAT I HAVE TO KILL MYSELF, BUT IM REALLY A SPOILED ROTTEN BRAT THAT JUST WANTS ATTENTION!!

*********I MAKE FUN OF MY FRIEND FOR LIKING THIS GUY NAMED RUBEN, BUT SECRETLY IM OBSESSED WITH HIM AND SOMETIMES I THINK HE KNOWS AND HE LIKES ME TOO!!!!********* (AND HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND)

my girlfriend doesn't know that i dream about everyone but her.

i'm sleeping with my boss' husband. now I think he's in love with me. and she knows he's cheating-- with me. but she won't fire me.

If I still didn't have ties with him, I'd put his brand new SUV in neutral and push it into the Ohio River. I hate you for how you've treated me over the years you selfish bastard.

my girlfriend and i look like twins, so when we kiss i bet people are grossed out more about that, then the fact we're both girls.
i often think i should of been a boy when i was born, if i changed now, im sure my girlfriend and everyone would hate me

i love her so much, but im so bad at showing it, so she has no clue

im scared i feel in love with someone ive come not to love
but they are crazy about me

i fell in love with someone that didnt no and wen they told me i never wanted to talk to them agian

i was scared i created a probelm

Secrets...wow...
alright well...
I pick my nose and eat my boggers
I sucked my thumb till the age of 12
I think my vagina smells really nice
Only three of my friends know i've taken pain killers for the feeling, but they don't know i still take them
They're my mom's pain killers that she needs for her back injury
I miss my ex, but i want to stay friends with him because losing him entirely would be worse than losing him as a bf
Actually, i'm really not sure that i loved him in the first place, more than a friend, or if my need for sex (im a virgin, btw) was what made me want him...and i don't know if i tell myself this to make me feel better about the break up
I want to stop school
I've seen my mom's report cards, she was a horrible student and everytime she says that my grades arent good enough (i get in the 80's) i feel like shoving it in her face
my dad has a gambling problem, that's no secret...i always complain about how he spends without thinking, but i fear that i will be the same because not long ago i spent 300$ in one day on clothes...i'm a student and i have no steady income so that is alot
I'm thinking of joining the army but i know everyone will laugh at me if i say it
I say that my rent's split up didnt affect me that much but every now and then i cry, hoping that everything will go back the way it was
I want something bad to happen to me so that i can be miserable...i envy ppl who lose their grandparents because they have a reason to be unhappy
I don't think virginity is important and i don't know why ppl see it like that...i just want to have a one night stand
But i'm scared
the truth is, i talk alot, but i dont act and every now and then i have to do something to prove to myself that i'm not like that
for example, smoke pot, ask someone out, confront someone, get a tattoo, get a haircut
all things i've done...not alot, but to me it is
I'm scared of being a failure
I'm not confident like my friends think i am
I've changed alot since my last bf, and i don't always like what i've become
I'm getting further away from my former best friend on purpose because she pisses me off
I think the friends i though i could trust are getting further away from me
I wonder if i would be missed if i killed myself
the only thing that prevents me from not doing that is fear of pain and of messing up and living through it
I'm not really that miserable, but i don't really see the point of life
Sometimes i think i'm happy, but then something always happens that make me think i'm not
I'm very superstitious but i don't tell anyone because i'm afraid it will jynx my life

I think my girlfriends pregnent And i'm only 14

:( Sometimes i feel like im all alone in a crowded room!

I wish my life wasn't so good so I could feel strong

I really wish I didnt care what other people though of me

I want to make a different before I die

i want a boyfriend but im to afraid

yeah.
this is exactly what i need. i need to be able to get all of this out. its gonna take a while.

I dont know whats wrong with me anymore. My best friends in the world are guys. One is 20 and one is 17. I am in love with one and the other one is in love with me. the problem is...they are cousins. i have fooled around with both of them and i feel horrible.

Also. everynight i walk around my town finding random guys to hang out with. i lead them on cause i like the attention. then after they walk me home i feel guilty and make out with them. i've been violated in many ways, but secretly i like it.

Everyone at school thinks i do crack. i dont, but i really want to, more than anything, simply because i love drugs and i want people to think im bad.

My whole school thinks im the biggest slut. it gets me a lot of attention from guys. i go along with it, but the truth is, i'm still a virgin.

i want to have an eating disorder because i think its the simplest way to lose weight. im scared to lose weight because i dont want my boobs to shrink. they get me a lot of attention.

I hate my mom because she doesnt care. she lets me sleep at guys houses, she buys me cigarettes and alcohol, and has no problem with me smoking weed. its nice to have freedom, but sometimes i think she does it because she hates me.

my dad thinks i have a mental illness. i hate him, but i agree.

I want to fake my own death so i can find out who would go to my funeral.

At school me and my friends make fun of the emo people who cut and try suicide. the truth is i have such bad anger problems that i have tried suicide more than once.

Despite all of this, i love my life. for some unknown reason, i love it. and im sorry for rambling on about this for so long, but i had to get it off my chest.

yeah.
this is exactly what i need. i need to be able to get all of this out. its gonna take a while.

I dont know whats wrong with me anymore. My best friends in the world are guys. One is 20 and one is 17. I am in love with one and the other one is in love with me. the problem is...they are cousins. i have fooled around with both of them and i feel horrible.

Also. everynight i walk around my town finding random guys to hang out with. i lead them on cause i like the attention. then after they walk me home i feel guilty and make out with them. i've been violated in many ways, but secretly i like it.

Everyone at school thinks i do crack. i dont, but i really want to, more than anything, simply because i love drugs and i want people to think im bad.

My whole school thinks im the biggest slut. it gets me a lot of attention from guys. i go along with it, but the truth is, i'm still a virgin.

i want to have an eating disorder because i think its the simplest way to lose weight. im scared to lose weight because i dont want my boobs to shrink. they get me a lot of attention.

I hate my mom because she doesnt care. she lets me sleep at guys houses, she buys me cigarettes and alcohol, and has no problem with me smoking weed. its nice to have freedom, but sometimes i think she does it because she hates me.

my dad thinks i have a mental illness. i hate him, but i agree.

I want to fake my own death so i can find out who would go to my funeral.

At school me and my friends make fun of the emo people who cut and try suicide. the truth is i have such bad anger problems that i have tried suicide more than once.

Despite all of this, i love my life. for some unknown reason, i love it. and im sorry for rambling on about this for so long, but i had to get it off my chest.

sometimes I wonder how many people here are lying or just making shit up to get attention... and not even signing their own names...

~ the hypocrite ~

i love him

-i love the taste of my ex-boyfriend's cum
-i love him still
-i sit next to him in class and he ignores me
-my boobs are to small
-he told me he loved me and i believed him
-i would give anything to be with him still
-i'm 13

I think I'm having a breakdown, but no one around me knows.

Happy valitines day... i hate you

I have never had a boyfriend and I know why... I'm just too fat, that's the only answer that actually makes sense. I weigh around 270, don't know my actual weight, I haven't stepped on a scale in a long time. When I look at myself, I don't see a lot of fat, but when I look at myself with someone else standing by me, I'm the biggest whale you'll ever meet. Wow, that used to be my nickname, wendee the whale. I feel that I will always live life alone, I'll grown up with no one. I want to lose my virginity soon, I'm 18, and I'm the biggest hornball ever. I have a lot of friends, but they are all girls, I get nervous around guys. Everytime I think they like me, I notice they are using me to get closer to my skinnier friends, what's new? I've always wanted to be an actress, but yeah right, I need to lose, what, 140-150 pounds, who am I kidding. I've tried diets, I lose weight, and then I get off the diet and I gain it all back... Life's just not fair, I wish I would eat the right foods. Sometimes I just wish I would die so the memories of my childhood would go away, so many mean names, so little time. Oh, but definitly getting picked last for gym class was always the best, and I am good at sports, that's the funny thing, the fact is that no one wanted a fat ass on their team. :'( I've tried not eating, but that lasted about 2 weeks, and then I couldn't take it anymore... that was about 2 years ago. I think I may try that again because I see no other way to lose weight. I want to get married, but no one is going to marry someone who weighs more than them. My back hurts a lot and there are days when I feel like my heart has stopped beating, what do you call that, a heart attack? A heart attack at 18, wouldn't that make the news... Fat ass has died at the age of 18, sad sad sad. I think it's time I try anorexia again... It's the only thing, I can't stand puke, an diets don't work. ANOREXIA, HERE I COME! All I want to do is become the people I see on TV...

I am in love with my girlfriend sister.

i honestly don't know why i broke up with you... you were the best thing that has ever happened to me

I'm having major mood swings and i seriously dont see a point to my life, even if i have nothing to be miserable about, i have nothing to look foward too....
thats not true, i have a florida trip comming up and my prom...but for some reason these things look trivial
The only person that's made me smile today was my friend (he's a guy) and i feel terrible cuz im being really depressed round my girl friends
I want to be left alone when someones around but when no ones around i want attention and ppl to ask me whats wrong
i wish they would come and ask me when i was ready to talk
and then again, i'm not sure what i would say...I'm depressed for no reason? I want to kill myself, wanna help? No, that would worry them too much
i dont want to cause pain

im scared he is gonna leave me again when he feels like it..i dont act like i need him but when he breaks up with me he is all i can think about ..i honestly dont think im ever going to get over him.

i dont know what im gonna do when he leaves me

i'm afraid i will never find you...

I pretend that I don't know that my best friend is secretly in love with me

How do you kno if someone feels the same as you do? We flirt, we tickle, we sleep in the same bed and cuddle, we dance, were ALWAYS together, people think were dating all the time, we decided that if neither of us are married by the time were 27 we would get married to each other, we want the same things in life...in my eyes were perfect for eachother. And still we are just friends. I want so badly to just kiss him, and have him kiss me back. maybe i will...

my smile is fake my laugh isnt real you have no idea how you really make me feel

I think i'm in love with my cousin's cousin.

I usually spend my free time on the computer waiting for him to write back.

I hardly know him but i can't stop thinking about him.

my name isn't really simon.

i wish i could tell him, but i am afriad of what he will say when i see him.

i am so fucking horny its not even funny....i want my roomate to leave so i can play in my bed. but she wont, shes home for the night....argg to this!!!

I LOVE YOU! I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!I love your eyes, the way you see me when I talk, your laugh, but you will never know... never..

I can't even put my hangups on this anonymous site....kinda sad eh.....

i really do care what you think of me

Everytime we get into fight, I feel like I'm dyin...isn't easy to see? I'm so into you
But you don't love me and it hurts more than anything.

i've never had a real boyfriend and i'm scared i will never find anyone that cares about me at all...

i know so much more than i ever let on

Everyday I love you alittle more and I hate myslef for it. Becuse everyday it seem like you love me a little less.....

My anxiety scares me, because it's all in my head. But it relieves me because it's all in my head.

I cut myself, not for attention but to release the angry and guilt. I cut myself to train my mind, I am not a worthy person, I cut myself to relax. I'm not suicidal, I'm just different. My mother found out when I was younger and punished me for wanting attention. I never wanted her attention-cutting was my thing, and is my thing-it has nothing to do with her or attention, it's something that was/is private, just for me and the voices in my mind!!

i wish i could just smack her across the face when she says thats shes so smart and im and over achevier blah blah blah god shut up! shes in my classs. WHAT A WITCHY NERD

she has no idea that when i turn 18 she will probably never hear from me again

I feel that I am wasting my time. And there is nothing I can do to fix it. My life feels pointless. I thought that maybe she could be the one to give it meaning, but that seems to not want to happen.

What do I do when the righteous wont accept me, but I must stay away from the wicked?

Every single day feels like a pointless labor. And I'm just tired.

Anorexia has pretty much made me dead inside.

I help my friends become anorexic... even though i know all of the concequences.

I want to be bulimic. But not binge... just throw up the little food i do eat. I'm afraid of chocking on vomit.

I cut myself 15 times today at work. I was temp and I'm done in two weeks with no where else to go, I'm unemployed with no money and bills to pay. Life is getting worse and worse before it will ever get better, if it ever gets better. Cutting is the only thing that makes sense, that seems normal, that's right. The voice/urge is the only one who understands me, yet it drives me crazy. I don't want to be an unemployed bum on the street, but it is what I will be, no one wants me. I have no experience. I hate the way the world works-you can have all the skills you want but if you aren't screwing the right person, you don't stand a chance.

Everytime he touched me I thought about her.

All of my friends have boyfriends/girlfriends. I'm the only one who isn't/never has been in a relationship and I'm almost 16.
It makes me feel ugly, fat and unwanted.
What I think is the reason:
I don't make friends easily.
I'm not a bitch, I just question peoples hidden motives.
I can't trust anyone, not even my "best" friend.

When I was little, I used to walk over to one of my neighbours houses to find their cat. After I did that, I took out my stress by strangling it until it ran away one day. Now I'm a vergitarian, and still a horrible person.

All my friends have told me about their first kisses, I've never been kissed.

My mom tells me I need to loose weight, I know I do, but its hard.

My brother found out I used to cut myself and was really upset with me. I was upset with myself, but felt loved because I knew he did care for me.

I started cutting in seventh grade by accident when I was drying a knife and it cut open my palm. I've been depressed since I was in grade one because of my parents.. Last year I wishedd that everyone I loved would die because they were the ones who caused me pain.

I hate my father so much & I really wish he would die. He always tells me I'm not good enough, that I'm worthless and useless andd stupid. He makes me feel that way and he's always complaining about that; I wish I would die because of how he makes me feel, because at school I try so hard and it means nothing to him. My 'father' doesn't care, and most of the time I cut is because of him.

I am a perfectionist prick. I get straight A's pretty much and hate it when one of my friends does better than me at something. It drives me insane. I want to be the best at everything- sports, school, even typing. I feel so out of place everywhere. My friends are starting to hate me because they think I am a snob that feels like they are stupid and nothing- which is pretty much true, but I don't want to lose them. I can't wait for high school and I want new friends and I dream about all my old friends failing and being losers and think of how much I would love to just laugh at them and say "I'm better than you!" one last time.
I am about 5 pounds over what I should be and want to lose 15. I have wanted to be skinny since I was 7 and have been on diets ever since and I think I really screwed up my metabolism because of it.
One of my best friends is anorexic and lost 9 lbs in 2 weeks and I wish that would happen for me. She is skinny now and has everything she wanted, a bf (who is a stupid stoner, but hot) and she met him a month ago and they have sex like everday. I'm not even jealous of her exactly, I hate the guy she's with but it still makes me mad.
I hate Simple Plan but it kind of sounds like my life is ripped from the lyrics of their stupid little emo songs!

I have always wanted to tell my five deepest darkest secrets:

1. I have always dreamed that i was my older sister

2. i want to take back everything i do

3. i think i am a complete failure

4. i think i will never find love

5. know one really know me, i have always acted so they will like me

I almost had sex with my boyfriend today.

He said he wouldn't try if i didn't want to... but This time I was worried that he would do no such thing. I quite literally had to keep him out... and I wasn't really successful.

im 16... and a virgin, I guess..
But i don't want to tell him or anyone that i think i may have slept with a guy friend of mine when i was just 12. and very very drunk.

I feel utterly foolish, writing this sort of stuff in a secrets page. However, i suppose I'm worried about myself and my relationship and need to discuss it with someone who won't judge me. im confused.
My friends all have been with their boyfriends for months and haven't slept withthem. not even close. I've been with mine for less than a month, and virtually did. He's really gorgeous, and i don't want to fuck it up. They all thought that theyd lose it before me...

but i think I just won a race i never entered.
fuck.

Everyone thinks they are friends with this happy go lucky girl who has everything going for her in this world, but in reality, they don't know I cry everynight. They don't know the real. I have acted so well in this life that I don't know who I am anymore. I feel like giving up because I have nothing going for me anymore. I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life, but I really don't. I want to know, and until I find out, I will continue to feel the way that I do. No one will know the real me, never. I don't trust people, and if I do tell them everything about me, they wouldn't like me anyway. I don't fell I have a best friend. Everyone has atleast one friend that they can talk to about their life and let everything on their mind out to that one person. I don't have that, and probably never will. I wish I did have that special person I could talk to. That would ease my mind. But in reality, I do have those people, I just can't tell anyone about my life, because it just sucks too much for me. I know there are a lot of people who have it worse than me, but I just feel like this is the worst that it can get... The next best thing is to end my life, that would definitly stop all the suffering I have. I could never take my own life tho, I'm too scared of death, it would just hurt too much. All I know is that there is something wrong with me but I will never tell anyone about it. I'm not even going to try and fix myself cause I'm sure I'd just tie myself into a knot.

Everyone thinks they are friends with this happy go lucky girl who has everything going for her in this world, but in reality, they don't know I cry everynight. They don't know the real. I have acted so well in this life that I don't know who I am anymore. I feel like giving up because I have nothing going for me anymore. I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life, but I really don't. I want to know, and until I find out, I will continue to feel the way that I do. No one will know the real me, never. I don't trust people, and if I do tell them everything about me, they wouldn't like me anyway. I don't fell I have a best friend. Everyone has atleast one friend that they can talk to about their life and let everything on their mind out to that one person. I don't have that, and probably never will. I wish I did have that special person I could talk to. That would ease my mind. But in reality, I do have those people, I just can't tell anyone about my life, because it just sucks too much for me. I know there are a lot of people who have it worse than me, but I just feel like this is the worst that it can get... The next best thing is to end my life, that would definitly stop all the suffering I have. I could never take my own life tho, I'm too scared of death, it would just hurt too much. All I know is that there is something wrong with me but I will never tell anyone about it. I'm not even going to try and fix myself cause I'm sure I'd just tie myself into a knot.

I still love you.
I act like im perfectly fine and that ive moved on.
I need you and I dont know why, I just keep thinking about last year..

.. it wasnt suposed to be like this. we wernt suposed to end so soon. But i guess fate has bigger plans.

B.PERL... omg i just have to say i gasped when i read your secret because that is EXACTLY how i feel i just didnt know how to put it in words

I often think about killing myself but I won't do it because I'm so scared of death.
I just want to pretend I'm dead and see if anyone would bother comming to my funeral.

family history of deperssion and alcoholics....me, i kno im depressed but i wont tell any one beacuse i like to drink on the weekends and i kno i cant drink on the medication....my priorities are totally in order

Im in love with my best friend...all of our other fireds kno it,and yet he still seems blind to it. some day im going to just kiss him and see what he does. but im afraid it would ruin our friendship, ive never had a friend like him. I can be in the worst mood ever and one look at him makes me smile and i cant remeber why i was crabby any more. why do things have to be so hard?

Lame- when i read your post i thought i was reading my own!!!!

I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend/kiss. I don't know why. People tell me i'm pretty and cute all the time. I feel ugly though. I don't understand guys, when i think someone might be interested in me-i hear that they've asked someone else out. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't think i'll ever be good enough for a guy to love. i wish i could just be kissed.

it kills me not to know...

i can't really tell u how i feel cus i guess i don't really no but i no that i need someone to love and be with..... but the part that i don't get is i'm attraction said all my guy ... not trying to be all that but that's what they say.. and i still can find nobody. and i also look for problems that i don't have and cut myself so i can feel better about being alone and that's after i take all the drugs..

i can't really tell u how i feel cus i guess i don't really no but i no that i need someone to love and be with..... but the part that i don't get is i'm attraction said all of my guy .friends.. not trying to be all that but that's what they say.. and i still can't find nobody. and i also look for problems that i don't have and cut myself so i can feel better about being alone and that's after i take all the drugs... this is not a fucking lie i need help

i am terrified of ladybugs

I suck at math, but I'm too proud to ask for help.

What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watchin you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seein that lovin you
Is what i was tryin to do
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere i go
But i'm doin it
It's hard to force that smile when i see our old friends and i'm alone
Still harder gettin up, gettin dressed, livin with this regret.

I dont eat in front of people because it makes me feel weak. I wear arm warmers to cover up my scabs and scars. I hate being asked if Im okay. I like love songs; even though Ive lost my concept of love. I wish he'd notice me... I tried to make myself get sick so I could be skinnier; I couldnt go through with it

I wish I could throw up but I'm too scared of puke... I wish I could be anorexic but I love food too much... I might as well face it, I'm going to be fat for the rest of my life... Meaning I will never have a boyfriend, or actual good friends, or get married... I'm gonna live alone for the rest of my life... Just like next year college... I don't have roommates... No one asked me, but yet they all think I'm so much fun... I don't get it, deep down I really don't think anyone likes me... They just say they do...

on february 14 i went to watch my grandmother die
on february 18 i found she was dead
on febraury 21 she was put in the ground
on february 14 i died
on february 21 i lost it
on february 28 i was reborn
on march 3 i saw the light

I know this is really strange but i WISH i was anorexic and whenever people say bad things about anorexics i get offended by it because my mind thinks i am.. but i'm not.

This year I graduate from highschool and next year I leave to attend college. Up to last year this was my dream, but now that I have fallen in love and relized that I don't always have to live in the hell I called home, I really wish I could take the extra year. And truth be told I never will because I want to please my Grandparents so much that I would even put my life on hold.

Over the summer I fell in love with a really great guy and now he's my best friend... I'm in highschool and he's leaving. I really used to love him and after him there was only two guys who I sort of liked. Now I think I might be bisexual - only towards two girls. I feel like I should be shot through the head because of my friends who are extremely religeous and it makes me feel horrible. I hold hands with one of them and hug the other one. Im still interested in guys - but the one I like makes me nervous around him; but when Im with them Im happy, I feel safe. It kills me that no-one cares to realize.

One time I was at my cousins' and all of us were sharing a huge comforter. I had my legs drapped over one of my male cousins (who's older than me) and he felt me up for an hour and I got really turned on. I felt really ashamed afterwards and ignored and avoided him; but really I wish he would've done it again. And I feel awkward if I know a guy likes me and he hugs me - but if a guy friend does I enjoy hugging them like I should a boyfriend.

He left me to have sex with her, he came back, we got married, but I'll never forgive him

I cheated on my husband while he was in Iraq.

Don't bother with love, the one you love the most will just hurt you the most.

You'll never get over losing your Mom, so love her while you have her.

I've masturbated all my life, can't have an orgasm any other way.

My youngest child is not my husbands. He knows, but no one else does.

I'm 19 and I still pee in my pants when I laugh too hard.

Me and my roommate listen to our neighbor when she fights with her boyfriend on the phone. and we laugh. sometimes she cries hysterically.sometimes we feel bad for her but still can't help but laugh.

im 23, i have 2 dui's that i got within the last 3 months. ive driven to many times to count. im in love with a fighter who cant love anyone. ive had 2 abortions and i miscarage. i told a guy i was pregnant and had cancer to make him feel bad because he got a new gf but i dont want him. i started doing drugs to lose weight so i could look good for the fighter. ive danced before at a strip club for 3 months and was payed for sex in the vip room. ive had sex with to many guys to count. i lie so much that i believe it. i really want to be an actress because i feel i can do it well. im actually really smart and i dont show it. im affraid of being alone. guys use me for sex but yet i cant stop being with them. i am beautiful on the outside but i hate the way i look. i hate my weight. i had been over weight up until i started doing drugs now i get modeling jobs. im affraid that i will become a famous actress and all my secrets will come out.

im 23, ive had 2 abortions and one miscarage. i told my boyfriend that it was his kid i miscaried but it was really the man im love with now. im in love with a fighter that cant love. i have to dui's that i got within the last 2 months but i still drive drunk. i started doing drugs to lose weight because i had been over weight all my life. now i get modeling jobs but cant stop doing drugs and i sometimes i dont want to stop. sometimes i wish i od and die. i worked as a stripper for 3 months and was payed to have sex in the vip room. ive had sex with too many guys to count. guys only see me as sex. everyone sees me as sex. i told my best friend that i was pregant with his kid and that i lost it and have cancer to make him feel guilty for getting a girlfriend all though if i were his girlfriend i would leave him for my fighter anyday. im addicted to sex but it doesnt do anything for me. i lie so much and so well i beleive my lies. i want to be an actress and i know i would be great at it but im affraid that all my secrets would come out. i love having my pic taking all though i dont like the way i look. all of this really happened but i feel so detached from myself that i feel like it happened to someone else.

i do bad stuff all the time and get away with it. i give guests at my work drity dishes and dont care. i lie way to much for no reason. i have a wonderful family but i feel i dont deserve them. i cant remember my childhood besides touching and being touched by my babysiters daughter. and i was the one who started it. i was only 7 and have no clue why i knew about sex or why i knew how to touch her. only thing i can think of is someone had done it to me but i cant remember. i said i was rapped when i really just lost my virginity and didnt want anyone to know that i consented to it. everyone tells me their secrets and i tell everybody. i have dreams about girls but im not gay. im affraid of becoming nothing but a server. im better than a server. im affraid of ending up alone. ive cheated on every boyfriend ive ever had but i dont feel bad about it. i use my sex apeal to my advantage. i dont know who i am or what i want to do with my life. i wake up everyday and just go through to motions. my friends and family all think that im this funny happy pretty girl but they dont know me. i dont know me

He was the best thing that has ever happen to me but i ruined our relationship to just feel the pain of losing him!

My boyfriend of 5 years was my first and still thinks I have only been with him, but every time we fight and break up I sleep with someone differnt out of anger! We broke up more then 10 times.

im scared of the future and knowing that im going to die one day..

i've had 3 kids and 3 abortions;my 4th abortion is this week;all because my boyfriend won't wear a condom cause it doesn't feel good to wear one;and i'm afraid to lose him and can't take the pill.I hate myself and i love all of my children:all 7.Forgive me god.

Ashamed:
your boyfriend doesnt really love you if he is willing to make you go through this. he doesnt have respect for life at all. my advice: dump him and find someone who respects you, your feelings, your dignity, and life in general.

my secret: I think i get really involved with peoples' lives because, if i end up helping them, it makes me feel useful.

Ashamed:
your boyfriend doesnt really love you if he is willing to make you go through this. he doesnt have respect for life at all. my advice: dump him and find someone who respects you, your feelings, your dignity, and life in general. Please don't make the same mistake and PLEASE don't kill this child.

my secret: I think i get really involved with peoples' lives because, if i end up helping them, it makes me feel useful.

i hate people who are pretending to help me but deep inside trying to give me insecurities. they are pretenders!!!!!!!!!!! they give me insecurities

Tonight was the first night I was completely content in years.

It's because tonight was the first night I didn't think of you at all.

So there.

i need you so bad...

I stand out of preppy crowds because of how I dress; &I like being different. But really all I want - is to be accepted...
& Cutting used to help - now it's also an addiction
[I thought that this would help me get over my biggest addiction of you - now it is my biggest addiction]
I hate my best friend when she's with her boyfriend [who's one of my best friends] because they've gone farther in a week than him and I ever did during the three months we went out.

i was raped when i was 15 by two guys. they abducted me and put me in their car. they put a knife up to my throat so that i wouldn't scream. when they were done, they took a picture of me. i can't seem to step out of my past, and it's been three and a half years. i still feel shameful, embarassed and worthless.
I tried telling my ex bf but as soon as i said i was raped, he was mad that i wasn't a "virgin." My heart has been broeken. it still is.
I feel so helpless.

Secrets..i've got lots of those...

I was molested by my brother when I was 14. I wish he would do it again.

I am a closet bi, and the girl I want dosn't even know I exist.

I'm terrified of being a failure.

I'm fat, but I'm afraid of losing to much weight and becoming to thin.

I bash cheerleaders and preps, when in reality I wish I could be one of them.

I hate my best friend for being independent and living on her own.

Everybody thinks I am a happy go lucky girl, when in fact i hate my life.

I can't pratice what I preach.

I'm afraid that one of my friends are going to get on here, read this, know it is me and question me about it.

I'm terrifid of my father

I love my boyfriend more then anything else in the world, but I've never phsyically met him.

As much as i love him, I can't help cheating on him.

i finally told him everything and he accepted and still loves me.

At the moment I can't stop thinking about one of my colleagues at work. I'm not sure whether he feels the same or whether I've imagined it all in my head. I'll never show my feelings because I'm a very good actress. I've tried everything to get this guy out of my head. I avoid him as much as I can...to the point of being plain rude. I can tell he's wondering why I'm not talking to him as usual. But whatever I do I always end up talking and falling for him all over again.

Today for example I avoided him. In six hours I hadn't spoken to him once even though we passed each other so many times. I went home happy in the fact that we hadn't really spoken.

What happened next..he called me and I'm back to square one.

This is a typical tale of love except I'm married to a wonderful man who worships the ground I walk on. He doesn't deserve this.

This is slowly destroying me.

~IVE TRIED TO LEAVE HIM BUT I CANT IMAGINE MY LIFE WITH OUT HIM AT THIS TIME OF MY LIFE.
~I LOVE TO BE WITH HIM BUT AT TIMES IM ONLY WITH HIM TO BE AROUND HIS FRIENDS.
~IVE FALLIN IN LOVE WIT HIM EVEN THOUGH I TRYED TO DO EVERYTHING NOT TO.
~IVE LOST MY BESTFRIEND CUZ OF HIM.
~I LET HIM GET TO ME MORE THEN HE KNOWS.
~HE SAYS HES SCARED TO FALL IN LOVE CUZ HES SCARED TO BE HURT IN THE END BUT I SEE IT IN HIS EYES THAT HE LOVES ME MORE THEN NETHIN N IT SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME!!!

the thing that im most scared bout is that i wont b nething in life. i have this whole future planned out for me n i dont know how i would take it if it wouldnt turn out like that. i wanna go 2 college n get my masters( but i dont know in wat yet!) i wanna get married b4 im 28 i wanna have kids i wanna b happy i wanna die in my 80s i wanna have a great life. i dont know how i would take it if it wouldnt happen like that. im scared of going to the real world cuz i dont know what 2 expect. i guess 4 now ill live in my fantsy world .

I am living the male version of Angel's story. It's so close it's scary.

i don't think there's a "greater plan"
i don't think there's a "life after death"
i don't think there's a "heaven" or "hell"
i just think you rott.
rott in a box in the ground waiting for the maggots to come.

I'm secretly pleased that my rival has anorexia... now she's out of the running.

~I feel horrible for feeling pleased at all~

i still dream about kissing him

I have no clue what I want to do with my life and it effects me everyday it making me feel like I’m a failure to those who care about me

Sometimes i wish i could sleep my whole life away because that is the only time i'm happy and nothing brings me down

i love flipping off random people :}

I was molested by a police officer numerous times(the son of a bitch finally got 9 years in prison). After 5 years after it happend I still feel like it will always be apart of me and I will never be able to move foward and forget what happend to me.

I cum here cuz I wanna feel like i'm not hte absolutely most fucked up person in the world. I have a bad habit of fucking everything up.....I'm "priviledged" so they say.....ggot every thing going fo rme....the right family...the right connections.....so why is it i messed it all up and am sitting home alon eright now with no one but the servqants here? I fucked up! Don't be lik eme, thats the best advice I can give.....Th eoly reason I dont kill myself is cause it'll cause the "FAMILY" disgrcae

when my friends ask me who the first person i had sex with was, i lie to them because i'm embaressed of who it really was.

My parents yell at me for spending so much time on the computer. I do it because here I'm not judged on my looks, and I can be anybody I want to

My parents yell because I spend a lot of time in the computer. I do it because here, I'm not judged by my looks, and I can be whoever I want

i just wish that he lived here instead of so far away.

i masterbate when we're on the phone together everynight.

i want to fuck him so bad--i'm going to visit him this weekend and i'm going to fuck his brains out.

Everyone thinks they know me so well, funny thing is, I don't even know myslef.

I am addicted to Crack
It has taken over my Life
I wish the obsession would leave me.

ONE OF MY GOOD FRIENDS KNEW I LIKED THIS GUY ALOT AND SHE TOKE HIM AWAY IN A DAY AND I 'M SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOO FUCKING PISSED OFF I DON'T NO WHAT TO DO .. BUT ALL OF MY OTHER FRIEND SAY I SHOULD JUST JUMP HER AND I NO IT'S WRONG BUT , RIGHT NOW I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT'S WRONG ... SHE'S A SLUT !

ONE OF MY GOOD FRIENDS KNEW I LIKED THIS GUY ALOT AND SHE TOKE HIM AWAY IN A DAY AND I 'M SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOO FUCKING PISSED OFF I DON'T NO WHAT TO DO .. BUT ALL OF MY OTHER FRIENDS SAY I SHOULD JUST JUMP HER AND I NO IT'S WRONG BUT , RIGHT NOW I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT'S WRONG ... SHE'S A SLUT !

sometimes I wish I were strong enough just to do whatever I want, instead of what they want... other times I wish I were a drug addict so I wouldn't be so normal...other times I really do enjoy who I am and how lucky I really am...other times I wish I were anorexic so I could get that little bit of attention I sometimes feel i'm lacking...other times i realise how ridiculous I really am...and other times i look at situations in the 3rd world, and at people who are WAY worse off then me and think, maybe if I put enough effort in, I could save the world...and right now, i'm hoping to save the world.

I make up stuff all the time so people think I'm interesting. I'm incredibly insecure, and think about killing myself quite often.

I don't actually speak Polish.

No one knows.

Humm so many things..
lets start at the easy ones.
I have a crush on my best friend.. and I think he knows but doesnt wanna do anything about it.. I have dreams about him all the time.. where he just wraps his arms around me and keeps me safe. I wish It could come true.

I think I like girls.. but I dont know I like the way girls like sometimes.. really curvy girls with big tits.. but I would never go out with a girl.. I dont know.. Maybe its normal.

I constantly lie about everything.. I think its a problem.. Like I'll lie about stupid things.. Like I went to mcdonalds and got a salad.. when I really got a double quarter pounder.... I lied to my best friends about givein some guy a blow job.. then they found out that I was lieing and wouldnt talk to me.. I lie about havin a therapist, and no one knows about that sept you and me. Hmm.. what else..

I masterbate everyday.. like everynight.. its like a ritual now.. I dont even do it cause I enjoy it.. I do it cause i know its the only pleasure I'll ever get..

Im really a virgin, some people dont believe it.. but I've never done shit with a guy..

No wait.. yes.. when I was like 14 my sisters friend fingered me.. but I told him to stop cause I didnt want it to go to far..

When I was younger like 9.. me and my brother use to make out a lot.. like in his room.. then when my mom came in we would say we were taking a nap.. and we use to play music.. we would play Scream by Micahel jackson and Janet Jackson.. Now I cant even stand to listen to that song cause It makes me feel dirty

I have a crush on my Algebra teacher.. Hes so awesome and funny and cute.. I want him to just spread me over that desk and fuck me infront of everyone..

I also fantastize about being raped.. hehe

theres also this one friend I have thats always mad at everything.. and hes as cute as can be when you get him alone.. I have fantasys of him tieing me up and beating me sometimes.. just cause all that rage sometimes turns me on

well I think thats it... Im pretty messed up i guess

Reading this website makes me feel less alone, and totally unoriginal.

What good is starving myself and cutting if everyone else is doing it?

I am anorexic but i can;t lose more weight because i am weak. i cut to be strong. i don't eat so i will look weak. i want to look weak so he will take care of me. i am scared i will never get better, and even more scared that i will.

im too confused to have a secret

i dont really know how to step-dance, i just copyed off some moves i saw my cousin do, i can believe u all believed me

all my friends are stick thin, and i am thick

i tried to not eat, then they noticed

but if i eat, they make fun of me cause i am bigger then them

i wish they were all FAT

i have a heart problem and i am afraid of dieing

my mama said that is no biggy, but i am reli scared. i did some research, so i no it wont kill me, but it will help

once, in class, i felt my heartbeat thro my but

i cant spell and i hate to write

my mom and dad are divorced and i have never seen them together in the same room

now they are fighting about who gets me for what day

i cant stand it

once, after a friends b-day party, i had 1.5 pieces of cake

i tried to shove my finger down my throught **sp** but i cant do it

i love food and sweets, but i want to me normal looking and not fat
but healthy

I know it is wrong but it feels so good to do it. To pleasure myself I slowly insert several of my sister's tampons into my rectum. I ensure the strings hang out. I then squirt warm water in there so the tampons expand. I love the full feeling down there and masturbate. I then slowly pull the tampons out one by one. It feels so good to do this but I worry I may be gay since I have so much pleasure stimulating my anal area.

I often wonder what it would feel like to have a BIG warm penis penetrate me, thrusting wildly until that moment of release. Then I dream of the luscious feeling of hot love juice spurting into me, filling me, then laying there as I feel the juice slowly drain from me.

I think Im bisexual because I love a girl touching me. But I wish I could be raped by one of the guys in a band I really like. Ive lost my touch on concept of love. I wish a girl would finger me and a guy would penetrate me from behind; the only thing is; Im afraid that it would hurt and I dont think Id follow through. I get really turned on by reading gay fanfictions.

i am still, and probably will always be in love with my ex fiance.
but he hates me.
i write letters, i dont send them.
i deleted his number from my phone...
over a year ago.

i still have it memorized and i hate myself for that.

i hate everyone who fucking wishes to get raped. it's stupid and ignornat and immature. you have no idea what you're talking about and you deeserve to be killed because people one this site im sure HAVE been raped and it's their worst nightmare and biggest secret.. and you people are making it into a freaking fantasy. get a grip.

-amy.

i'm absolutly terrified of falling in love

sometimes im not sure if i miss him or if i just miss being loved by somone. either way, it hurts so much - and i know that by losing weight i wont look any better to anyone but him - he's anorexic too - but now im becoming bulimic anyway. which i hate more than anything - and i would give anything to have him back. i relapsed because he was anorexic too, i started cutting because he cut, i started binging because he said he binged...but i still want him back so much.

I have a few:

I'm crazy about a girl I live next door to in halls at uni, and she knows I am, but doesn't see me as anything more than a friend and keeps bringing guys back to her room.

Sometimes I wish I could be in a car accident or something bad would happen to me so I could see who would visit me in hospital.

My grandma is mentally ill and I'm scared that when she dies I won't cry or care.

I drank alcohol and then took sleeping pills knowing fine well it would make me ill.

Even though I know I'm fairly clever, I don't feel like I'm good at anything in particular, just really average.

Im a hypocrite

The only thing I think about all day is being in his arms

I am going to a college that is 700 miles away and I still feel like I am too close to home....

I need an ocean between us.

i love you... so much...already...and that scares me...so bad

i only want him so she can't have him.

Im 17 and 5'6.
i went to the doctor the other day and got weighed. im 109. its too much. the doctor said im under weight ..i couldnt stop smiling. but i know its still to much.

1.sometimes my friends are fake.
2.i feel really left out.
3.i dont think ill ever find the place where i fit in.
4.no one cares about me in school.
5.my only friends are my family.
6.i get depressed.
7.sometimes i give up in life.
8.i fear of loneliness and never finding love.

secret - i am 18, 5'7 and weigh about 110 - and i agree, it is too much. i wish i knew you.

i want sex from my gf and she wont give it to me

hahah! hey so guess what!! im in love with my best friend, and the other day he actually came to me and and said "you have no idea how it feels to like some one so much and they have no idea" yeah he wasnt talkin about me either....he was talkin about his ex-BOYfriend...yup, hes bi and im the only one that knows....and yet i still love the fucker...i hate life sometimes

i'm 38,kids and a man,only love my kids not my man ;only stay with him 4 money-he made me a nobody when i had so much potential-hes only good 4 sex and money barely the sex;its barely good;if i won money i'd dump his ass so fast ;i hope it happens

Im a cutter and Im trying to quit. A teacher at my school noticed; and Ive only told my best friend. I dont want people to know because theyd stereotype me and shit... But I sort of wish they'd care enough without stereotyping me. I dont cut over heartbreak; I cut because of my family and self-hatred that was given to me because of six guys I still hate.

sometimes i want to die and other times i wish i weighed 115 pounds just so i could be a supermodel. i'm extremely jealous of my sister because she is gorgeous and i know i will never look like her. and i think by being really skinny i might have a shot at achieveing more than she has.

it's been 25 days scinc shes left
25 tortured days
days i feel completly numb
i had a dream last night she came back from her grave, she winced with every step i saw the pain and torture of hell heaven and everything inbetween. only then did i realise she was better off dead no longer will the cancer eat away at her body, spirit, and mind no longer will she have to go through the hell of which was her life her last few years no longer and never agin.

I miss you Granny~Hope to see you soon!

im not fat, but im bigger then all my friends! i have massive thighs and hips and i want to be pin thin! i want to become anorexic but i cant really make myself throw up! is there any secrets that someone can tell me please! i really need help! i hate the way i look and i just crave to be skinny again and be that wild hot party girl i used to be! The one that the guys want and go crazy for!
HEELPPP PLEASE!:(

Yesterday I told him I only like him as a friend because one of my best friends has been in love with him forever, I felt it was the only thing to do..............
I hate when I have to lie

It wouldn't have worked anyway

What if I don't succeed, what if I end up here in this small town with 20 kids and a good for nothing husband, what if I let go?...or even worse, what if I end up like my parents?

i say i believe everything you say to me ... i guess your not the only one who is lying

I got caught lying to my parents and they beat me. I have bruises all over my body. When people ask, I lie and tell them I got my bruises from falling down the stairs. Everyone now thinks I'm clumsy.

chubs - so chances are that if you lost weight unhealthily, you would be able to stop, wouldnt become anorexic...i think that only happens if you have other issues underneath, or at least that's waht my therapist told me. i am anorexic and so unhappy - i feel fat 100% of the time, even when im sleeping. and throwing up doesnt make you lose weight, it just maintains, so dont start. honestly, you dont wanna feel like this - however bad you feel, you'll feel like that 100% of the time, and it will never leave your mind

I write him letters all the time, but he'll never see them.

No sooner then I got off the phone with him last night, I was in my room fucking someone else.

I'm terrified I'll end up like my dad, divorced twice with a live-in girlfriend. Or worse, like my mom, a clinincally insane woman who can't marry my "step father" because they'll lose their SSI. I don't want to end up like that.

I'm jealous they're engaged, but after 9 years we're not. What's the point ?

I want to divorce my husband and get back with my ex-boyfriend from high school.

I will see him soon!

I hate her and I don't know why!

I just wish that she would disapear!

She is a waste of space!

Reality::
I want myself to suffer, just to see if I can handle it.

i made a wrong decision about high school
all my friends go to another one and i dont know why i chose the one i go to now.

i feel like an idiot. i wasnt very popular at my old school but still had a lot of close friends (i had 9)

this year, i dont have many friends and the ones i am friends with are sluts, and i dont even fit in because ive never had my first kiss or boyfriend and theyve had at least 5 boyfriends each and slept with a couple guys too

i want to lose weight i think thats the problem.... i really want to lose 15 pounds in 2 weeks but i dont see that happening

its been 2 days since i decided to lose weight and ive only lost 2 pounds

Everytime I look at Beyonce it makes me sick to my stomach. She reminds me of everything I will never be.

I masturbate, like at least 4-5 times a week. But whenever my friends and I play "never-ever-have I ever" I always claim to never have touched myself in that manner. When we talk about porn I always claim I don't watch it either. Technically I don't because I only read anime porn.... I'm also bulimic. But only one person knows that, but doesn't care enough to do anything about it. I've been working really hard lately to try and fix it though.

im insecure about kissing to the point where i break things off with the boy. then i throw up.

i have had sex with at least 15 guys... including 3 brothers. even 2 in the same week. but i deny it to myself regularly. i try to reduce the number by only counting the guys i've had sex with more than once. it makes me feel like a dirty slut, but no one knows it. everyone thinks i'm a nice girl... i know there are people out there more promiscuous than me but i feel like crap about it... like no one will ever love me...

i prentended i was sick just to see if he would care

why do i miss you so much when your right next to me, im so sorry..... emptyness it's a bitch huh!

sometimes I wish I could be in an abusive or bad relationship so I could cry over it.. &so I could see if anyone cared enough to help me.

There's no doubt in my mind that I am madly in love with the same boy that stole my heart when we were 12. He's had girlfriends, I've had boyfriends but never once have I ever been able to forget about him. No matter how happy I am with another guy, I still want to be with the first guy. I'm 16 now, and I want to tell him --or someone--but I'm too scared and it's been killing me for years.

I love my boyfriend; but he's cheated on me twice. I can't bring myself to break up with him.

Not for fear of not being with him or fear of being alone.. but for fear that he'd be with someone else.

i'd give anything to be 8 years old again

I am not a flawless resume.

stop treating me like one.

quit bragging about me. stop trying to perfect every hairline detail.
I just want to be average...
plain
mundaine.

everytime i slip up i brag about it, just to feel like everyone else.

Everytime when my parents leave the house to go to dinner, I'll quickly run to the bathroom and Dig my throat till i Puke...I do this because i want everyone to stop saying tat im fat.

I have suicidal tendencies.

I'm a christian but i still want to die.

I need "friends" ya know?
the whole "life" thing just isn't working out for me ya know?
the whole "your goal is to be happy" thing, no that just doesn't work.
the whole goal in life thing i feel as if i have no gaol anymore.
i write to help myself feel better in a desperate attempt for somebody to help, help never comes for the damned.
my life is screwed up, so much it will never be untied not even with a bunch of head shirinks.

I know he loves me and i know i could love him back and we would be great together, but i'm afraid to fall in love with him because my sister is in love with him. She doesnt know about us and i feel so bad.

Sometimes I feel like I'm not enough. I can't explain why but it seems like there's so much I can't be.

I want to leave everything behind and be someone else but then I'll still be me, missing my friends.

Sometimes I feel like I'm not enough. I can't explain why but it seems like there's so much I can't be.

I want to leave everything behind and be someone else but then I'll still be me, missing my friends.

All I really wanted was to fall asleep with you; but something tells me I wouldn't feel safe with 15 other people in your house.

I'm afraid, terrified even, of falling for someone. At least that's my explanation for why I always distance myself.

At times I just want to go and be with someone, anyone, but I would never be content. There are people who say they love me but I can't believe that.

Getting over her was the hardest thing I've ever done...Because I was afraid of being alone.

Getting sober was the hardest thing I've ever done...Because I was afraid of the real world.

Getting out of Florida was the hardest thing I've ever done...Because I was afraid of the unfamiliar.

Telling you him that I really do love and care deeply about him, dosen't hold a candle to the other ones...because I'm TERRIFIED of what he might say.

.......

There was no reason at all for me wanting to kill myself. That scared me, so I started telling my friend that I was raped by my MUCH older boyfriend, so people wouldn't think I was crazy.

.......

I miss my dogs with all of my heart.

.......

Sometimes I think that I have a better connection with animals than I do with people. Animals understand me. Sometimes I swear I can hear what they're saying.

sometimes i wish someone would shot me in the head so i would at least be remembered for something. also i spend most of my class figuring out if i was to go on a shooting spree who i would kill. i have OCD, ADHD,chronic depression,my parents are divorced, and my brother and father have disowned me.

i've tried to kill myself twice. i have a therapist but i'm afriad to tell her anything too personal because i dont want her to judge me. idk i just needed to tell someone.

kermit the frog has 11 points on his collar

Im sinking so fast and I don't know how to swim. I feel like my world is slowly falling apart and I can do nothing but watch it crumble. Fnacial, emotional, mental....everything just sucks. I think about killing myself sometimes and then I feel bad because my family would have to pay for my funeral....that is the only thing that stops me from doing it. I want to ask for help, but I don't know how to admit that things are to bad for me to handle. Every one thinks I am so strong and I think it would disapoint them to know I am not as strong as I pretend to be.

i have a couple..

i am always horny

i wish i had a vibrater

i try to think about guys but girls make me feel hotter

i've had sexual dreams of my girl best friend

i fanisize of having sex in a public place

i really want to just spred my legs and have my history teacher just fuck me right in my desk while resiting the presidents :-)

i'm still a virgin

sometimes i wish i could get into a comma just for the attention

both my parents are jerks

my butt is constantly ichy and i dont know why

i dont even like my bf but i'm with him because i'm afraid he's gonna kill himself if i leave him

this site makes me horny

theres more but my dumb ass mom is making me get off the computer...

yay me

i'm in love with my best friend but he is obsessed about this other girl he's liked for 8 years... she's finally giving him the time of day and he's so happy. she doesn't appritiate him like i would if we were together... i would tell him how i feel but he treats me like i'm a daughter not a lover.. it kills me every time he talks about... HER! i know i would make him so much happier.. I WISH HE WOULD SEE THAT

my parents think i'm a slut so i want to make them eat their words by having sex right in front of them.. preferably on their bed... heh that would be awesome..i know that doesn't make sense but wouldn't that be cool!

im 20

never had a boy firend

im afraid of rejection

i was raped when i was 9

i dont kno what to do any more

ive thought about killing myslef

I still want to

But something wont let me, i dont kno what it is

My parents are finally sober....i cant be more happy for them. but i cant be more unhappy

im in love with my best friend, he was just giving me advice on boys because he said i never talk about the guys i like to him....thats because hes the guy i like the most, the one i compair all the others to...it hurts to like someone that doesnt kno, and that likes someone else...

I dont kno where my life is going

I want to stop

I think girls are attractive, sometimes turn me on

im drunk right now

im afraid ill be an alcoholic like my parents

i wish i was my sister

I wish i was more like my twin brother

I quit

i like to rape dogs with test tubes to marlyn manson songs...then i killl them and i have never been caught even though all my friends and families dogs have mysteriously "dissapeared". im sorry.

i lost my virginity on porpose at the age of 11. i know im a whore and what people say about me is true. i agree, i hate me too. im also fat and have a hairy back. i have no self esteem because i let every guy i meet fuck me. im only 13 and ive probably have had sex more often than my 50 year old mother in her lifetime. and im not going to stop until i get an std, only then will i use protection. ive been pregnant 3 times. i cant have babies anymore but i want one because they turn me on. i molested a child that i was babysitting and i told her that if she told i would rape her again like my dad did to me. i wish he would do it again because he's the only one that actually gave me an orgasm. im also a lesbian but im muslim so i cant be or my family will disown me. i once had sex with my best friend and she never spoke to me again, which sucked cause she almost pleasured me. not like my dad di though, he was great. he's also the father of my second aborted fetus.

sometimes i think i should stop caring about everything, even trying to fix things. nothing seems worth it anymore. maybe i'll be a rebel and cross the street without looking...

i'm afraid that nothing is going to be worth it in the end .....

im to afraid to write a secret, because i think someone will actually find out its my secret...

i really want to pleasure myself but i dont have a man OR a vibrater!!!!

i orignally started cutting in year 9 for attention, i never recieved it and im now in year 12 and am still cutting, i have become addicted to the blood and the amount i can spill without fading away, my friends also know that i cut because i yelled at a girl who glorified the concept of cutting making it sound like a way out and almost a happy thing to do. all it is is way to become trapped further in your problems im suffocating because instead of the scars just being on my leg they have reached to my wrist but i dont want to die...i have to look at my scars everytime i remove my pants, who will love a girl who has carved a story of loneliness and hate into her leg??? who will love a girl like me without being afraid ill cut if they hurt me?who will love me?

i regret you ..... everything about you ....... why did i go out with you .... ??? .... why did i think you were my first love .... i didn't love you ..... i wanted to be in love .... you just weren't the one .... but i still don't understand why i miss you sometimes ...??...... i'm happier without you .......

i sometimes wish that my bestfriend would get a life and stopping trying to live mine

also
i'm afraid to fall in love with my new boyfreind because i have been hurt by every guy in my life and i'm afraid i'll hurt he to get back at all the others

i sometimes wish that my bestfriend would get a life and stopping trying to live mine

also
i'm afraid to fall in love with my new boyfreind because i have been hurt by every guy in my life and i'm afraid i'll hurt he to get back at all the others

also i wish people would listen to me, i always am there for my friends but when i need them i feel ignored. that ends up making feel like i wanna just die. i feel like if i did they wouldn't miss me

i am in love with a man 27 years older than me. im a minor, and i have a boyfriend. but i fuck the older man every night. and i promise my boyfriend id never cheat on him. my boyfriend is just a filler until im legal. i hate that i live two secrets in one life.

I want to be a bird.
To fly away from all my troubles.
Away in the past, all would be.
Nobody could touch me!
I would be Free!
High in the sky, I would Fly!
I want to be a bird.
To fly away.

sometimes it feels like i wouldn't even cry if you died tomorrow

i have a crush on a 27 year old guy and im 14. that 13 years apart!!! but i kno that he'll never want to be with me, and that kills me everyday

I slept with my boss last summer. He is eight years older than me..he is married...he has a kid...and has another baby on the way. My boyfriend had moved out of town. I fell in love with my boss, while we fucked on his living room floor. His wife was in Charleston, but he was inside me. I still dream about him. I would do anything to be with him again. I still wear his old tee shirts in bed, while my boyfriend rests his head on the pillow beside me.

i trust him but every time he doesn't call i'm afraid he wants to be with somebody else

my friend and i were trying to figure out which of our friends are closeted gay or bi. i didn't tell her i think she might be too. i'm out, so i'm here for her if she is, i also didn't want to tell her that it makes me happy that she might be.

i've been hurt once.
but that was one time too many.

---

now i hurt others before they have the chance to hurt me.

---

i leave them before they have a chance to leave me.
....but before they have a chance to love me, as well.

Sometimes, I wish that I would be diagnosed with a terminal illness, just to see how many people really care.

*Sometimes, I think he lies to me to get laid.

*Whenever someone tells me they love me, I don't believe them.

*I'm soooo overdramatic.

*I love him, but I'm scared to tell him, cuz he'll think I'm a freak.

*When I masterbate, I think about being with my favourite rock star.

*I have sex-dreams almost every night.

I almost want to become sick to receive attention, and so that people will feel sorry for me

I will always feel like this. I will always have this emptiness inside, the part of me which no one but you can fill... Who are you? I don't know, I wish I could find you, I will not be happy until you are here with me, making me happy every minute of the day. I've never had you, or anyone like you. I will always be lonely, until I find you. Come to me, before I do something I'll regret.

Sometimes I wonder if I haven't somehow screwed up my life without knowing it.

Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choices in life, or if I should just stop now and go down a different road.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm fooling the world, or myself, without ever knowing it.

Sometimes I wonder if I truely am a good person or just pretending to care.

Sometimes I wonder if I truely deserve all the fucked up things that have happened to me.

Sometimes I wish my brother had succeded in killing himself.

Sometimes I'm so desgusted in myself I want to run out the door and never come back.

Sometimes I wonder if my friends are really my friends or just pretending.

Wow, that's probably the most honest thing I've ever said, and no one will ever know it was me.

Ive told so many people that I don't believe in god now I don't think god will take me back

i have a job and lots of money in the bank, but i shoplift every chance i get. everyone thinks im a goody goody......but i only do that so i dont get caught, bc i believe in karma

i can't stand for my friends to be happy i just wait for something to ruin there moods.

i cut whenever i feel like cying i love the pain and the blood usually makes me smile.
&
he raped me....but i've never told anyone and continued to let him fuck me whenever he wanted after that becuase hes already taken the only thing i had left my virginity.
&
i hate my mom and dad if they died i doubt i would cry or even care i think i might actually be happy.
&
either i lie exagerate or am brutally honest i'm good at it.
&
i still love rafniek even after all these years
&
i want to kill someone just anyone i think it would be amazing to be in so much control
&
i hate pretty girls becuase i think i'm so ugly and everything could be nice if i was pretty.
&
i admire anorexic people i wish i had that much control of myself
&
i want to steal all of my freinds boyfriends
&
i feel like such a whore all the time
&
id give anything to just be loved by someone i love
&
when i was little me and my sister experimented with each other i was older and i still think about it i think i fucked her up for life i want to apologize but she might not even remember like i do
&
when i was little a boy named tyrone griffiths sexually abused me i've alwayz blamed myself and am not sure if it was sexual abuse i didn't try to stop him
&
i hope when i finally die my family and friends blame themselves for never trying to help me

I hate the fact that whenever I feel truly sad, I have to make a joke about it.

I guess that's why I'm always making people laugh.

I'm half black & half white.
ppl say that i'm too white to be black & too black too be white.

I don't know were I belong so I just pretend to like being different but the truth is
--- I would like most in the world just to be normal!

I found my father when I was 11. since then i've talked too him about 11 times, he says he loves me, but if he really does, why haven't I heard from him in a year.

I tell my friends each month false storie's about his calls to make me feel better, I lie so much that i'm starting to belive my lies.

Sometimes i wish i'd never found him. At least then it could have been a possibility that he'd love me.

i wish they would break up.........not because i want to be with him.......but because....i don't want anybody else to have him

in 8th grade my best friend and i experimented with each other. she went down on me, i went down on her. It was my first time with another girl and i didnt know what i thought about it at the time. She had messed arround with other girls before. We stopped being friends about a month afterwards and i was completley shocked. i HATED her for it. now i really dont care, becuse i kno im not attracted to women and im glad

i constantly think up different way to murder my "best friend."

I've Loved Him From The Moment
I Met Him, Were Going Out Now,
And I Dont Think He Loved Me As
Much As I Love Him.....

Im Only 12.....

i love you

I'm a lesbian pedophile.

Me and my best friend have a pact. If we are both single when we are 30, we'll hook up. We talk about family and stuff all the time, and even though I know he is joking, I wish he loved me everyday. I'm affraid that no one will ever understand me or accept me the way he does.

this guy and i mess around with each other all the time but he has a girlfriend so it never goes anywhere.

let's just finish the foreplay once.
your girlfriend in long term for 2 more months anyways.

I've Never have had a boyfriend...just guy friends...im get so scared to even talk to guys unless i've been drinking....I feel that the way my mother raised me has a great affect on my life...all i've seen was her being beat....i dont think i will ever be able to freely open up to a guy...i can't trust anybody...not even my best of friends...my mother did that to me...i hate my dad for beating my mother and leaving us...i feel theres something in my past that i cant remember that makes me this way...i just want to be a normal teenager and have a boyfriend for once...somebody that i could trust and open up to...but i dont see it happening since everytime a guy shows me attention or likes me i stop talking to them...then they think i dont like them so they move on...even tho deep down i just want to be with them....i dont even know why im telling my computer this..but it helps to get it out..since i have nobody eles that i can talk to....

I think this site is great and i have a confession. I stalk my hot dentist and make it look like a coincedence when I "accidently" bump into him.

.....i'm scared

.....so scared

.....i don't know why

.....i don't have a reason

.....now i feel like even my computer is judging me

?????? i have no answers ??????

I really, really, really like my math teacher...

I have a skin condition on my legs which makes them really sensitive and I have many, many scars because I scratch myself.

i thougth i loved him
i guess i was wrong
i thought i would miss them
i didn't
i thought i would cry
i laughed
i thought they wouldn't care
they did

i killed my best friend...not because i hate her...because it was fun.now i miss her:(

I sometimes wonder, if he thinks about her...

I sometimes wonder, if he really loves me...

I sometimes wonder, why he's even with me...
i am fat....

i hate it when someone tries to comfort me when i'm down, but guys...really, happiness and sorrow both lie in urselves.. u'r depressed 'cause u do nothing about it, u'r so used to it u see no way out, stop blaming others 4 u'r unhappiness, only u can change u'r life, u'r not fat 'cause he doesn't like u, u'r just dumb. u hate in others what u dislike in urself and u are jealous 'cause u are lazy to be the person who u admire. u can be anyone u want, why won't we all admit that? we are to blame 4 our problems, not the neighbour's dog or u'r stupid family. u need to start facing real life ppl. and yes i've felt like u , like all of u, i've been in bad situations so what? does that mean i have to start feeling sorry 4 myself? no, i have to help myself 'cause no one else will. posting secrets can free u but it can also doom u, once u admit it , once u write it down it never leaves, it haunts u so take care my friends 'cause u'r on a dangerous road which unfortunately u chose...
and by the way, i'm 17 and my name is andra

i wanna get jumped so i can use it as an excuse to kill somebody

i had sex with my aunts dogg.

i always love the guys im with more than they love me... i've always wanted someone who loves me the same back... and the guy im with now loves me even more... and i cheated on him.

i need to tell him but im scared of the reaction i'll get from him cus i know 100% how he would feel... i hate regret

My boyfriend of 3 yrs left me and I'm scared I won't ever get over him. I am so scared of being alone for the rest of my life and never meeting "the right one", I think he was the one for me but he said that he couldn't see himself happy with me in the future. Now he doesnt' want anything to do with me, after 3 yrs. I didn't think anything could hurt so bad in my life.

My boyfriend of 3 yrs left me and I'm scared I won't ever get over him. I am so scared of being alone for the rest of my life and never meeting "the right one", I think he was the one for me but he said that he couldn't see himself happy with me in the future. Now he doesnt' want anything to do with me, after 3 yrs. I didn't think anything could hurt so bad in my life.

My best friend still hangs out and talks to my ex. We've only been broken up for a week and it is making me not be able to stand being around her. It makes it impossible for me to get over him.

I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years because i thought it was the right thing to do.
Then because i had no one to pay any more attention to be i became bulimic.
In the begining it was just to get attention, but now i actually have an eating disorder.
I hate my life.
I think i'm fat and stupid.
I have no date for prom.
I wish that i was thin.
I wish i could have a bady to love.

i'm so sad right now

just so sad

and nobody will ever know it

except for you

I cry myself to sleep sometimes telling myself that I'm the worst daughter in the world. I'm afraid to tell my parents that i love them and thank them for being there for me when i needed them the most. We're just not that close now...since i was 9 i have only said "i love you" to them twice. im almost 17...and i think they think i hate them (well at times i do) but really... i love them more than anything in the world.

mom, dad...i love you.

the people at my work eat chips all day long. they heat like pigs so ALL day long all i can hear is CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP. it is DISGUSTING.

all i want to do is stab them all to death with the chips that drive me insane.

-No matter how much I say i'd like to have a boyfriend, I'm afraid that someone will actually fall for me and I wont know what to do

-I think I'm the uglyest person in my town

-I've had a crush on the same guy since 5th grade

-I've never been kissed by a boy and I'm in 9th grade

Alright so since the last time i wrote, this is what's new...
-->I like this guy at school but no one knows because i think that having crushes is silly and makes me vulnerable and its very...grade 6
-->i met this guy at a bus stop, i gave him my number, he called we met up at his house (knowing full well he was 6 years older than me) and half expecting to have sex with him but no knowing what to expect (kinda contradicting myself but w/e) nyways turns out hi philosophy is "if we like eachother, lets just have sex now and then get to know one another" BS...nyways he got me naked, then he got naked and then he kept asking me to give him head even after i told him i didnt wanna cuz i never had and i was a virgin, but he kept pressing on, so i did...I ACTUALLY GAVE IN! im such a fool...nyways next think i knew he was telling me to put a condom on him...and thats when i flipped...i went crazy and i got dressed and left...then he was like well lets talk so i actually SAT DOWN AND TALKED TO HIM and he was like u dont understand my point of view...right and what about mine? hmm, and then i left told him to forget me...and worst part is (and i will never forgive myself)he asked me for a hug, and i gave him one! i actually did that ppl! im such a fool. one of my friends know what happened cuz i went to his house to cry about it, but what he doesnt know is, b4 everything happened, i wanted it to happen. Fool.
-->I smoked up with a friend, no one knows, but i think im getting a little hooked on the sensation
-->i want to take a year off school, but i cant cuz my mom doesnt want me to

yeah thats pretty much it...see these are all secrets i have from my regular bunch of friends, but a coupla ppl know about them

all i can say is !!!damnit!!! it happened again.

secretly i new that it would

my life has gone from awesome to bad, im such a failure. Back in gr 8 and 9 i was such a good student, getting good grades, always in tune with the world, but now i feel like im slowing rotting away. Grades are slowly going down, parents getting even more mad at me now for no apparent reason, i treat my parents like crap and sometimes i pretend that they dont even exist. I want to be happy again, feel alive.

I realli like this guy at school, hes a grade older than me and he used to talk to me, now its just like he doesn't even know me. I really like him but it just hurts so much that he doesn't even notice me anymore. it sucks

i love my boyfriend. he's the guy of my dreams.

but there's another guy that likes me...

and i WANT him to. i dont think i like him. but he told me that he would try to get over me, and stopped calling me. i flipped. i WANT him to fall in love me. i WANT him to try everything to make me break up with my boyfriend, even though i wont.

thing is, he's my best friend. and i tell my boiyfriend that i'm worried about losing our friendship. and he gives me advice on how to fix it.

>>>his advice is working

i wish my parents gave me the freedom i deserve
to do wat ever i want whenever i want so i dont have to hold back

also:

i have always wandered wat sex feels like

and...

i'm only 14

i want someone to cry over me

i want to be loved that much by someone

i know it will never happen

i just found out my parents went bankrupt and that in a month were moving from are huge, awesome home to a 2 bedroom apartment. i wish i didn't have to be so ashamed of whats happening and i wish i could tell my friends but they wont understand...

i am so bored with life..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................with everything in general......................................................................................................................................................................................................i want something to happen ................................................................................................................................................................i don't know what.................................................................................................................................................................just something so i wont feel this bored anymore............................................................................................................................................................................................

-->Nothing is ever good enough for my parents
-->I want someone to care about me
-->I want to know if *he* ever cared about me
-->I wish I werent so ugly
-->I weight 110 pounds, but i think I'm to heavy

For T who used to work at R.V.

As I sit here watching the sun set into the horizon, my heart sinks with it. My pain is my entire fault; when will I learn? You would never want me. I'm not perfect, beautiful, or anything important. I have to let the dream of you and me go, for I am a woman with an unrequited crush.

This is how I feel when I think of her. I know I will never see her again nor will I be able to tell her, but she is so beutiful, and I would give anything for one moment with her.
I normally dont think about married women, but I cant get her outta my head.
If my girlfriend ever knew about this.. the *poop* would hit the fan.
from C who used to work at P.J.

i cheat on my wife over and over again, i go on 2 bussiness trips a month to see my secret lover, the funny thing is my lover is a guy, my wife is a girl and i am a lesbian.

i'm finally happy with my life--i've met the man i'm goin to marry and everything is actually going great with every aspect of my life....

now--i'm just scared that something is gonna come and take it all away...because i dont deserve it.

my childhood was hell.....damn it i DO deserve to be happy and in love!!

on monday i start treatment at the hospital for my eating disorder - i'm so scared, but almost ready moaybe to get better. maybe.

I have loved this girl since the first day i saw her.. i would do anything for her.. i love her more then anything! but the problem is that i kno she loves me two buh i tell her everyday that i love her so fukn much and she doesnt belive me.. she said that she doesnt think that i love her as much as she loves me and she is mad about it and i dont lie i love her so fukn much!. she is the 1 and i know it and i love her to death! and im only 13 buh i love her so fucking much! i hope that i can convince to her that i love her so fukn much and me and her can keep goin out for a long long long time...and me and her can be happy cuz i love her so fuckn much!

I love you

ive masturbate to female porn . .. but im not a lesbian =\

i'm looking for you

i just wonder if you are really out there

When I go to school, everyone sees me as the most happy and bubbly person at the whole school. Im always, always, always smiling and laughing at everything. I am unbelievably happy. I talk to everyone, and try to help anyones problems. But really, when I go home, Im serverly depressed and hate life. I hate life. I have no idea who I am or what I do everyday. I dont know who this person is that is so happy around my freinds. Its not me. But then again, I dont PRETEND to be happy. This is a condition that Im living in, and I cant win.

i said i wanted you back but i don't know if i meant it
i think i'm just scared
and i don't think you loved her even though you really thought you did

my dad killed me two years ago. AND NO ONE CARES!!!
im dead :)

i got diabetes and my face is slowely falling off.
my mom wont talk to me so i moved to a shack in pensicolla.

i am a hooker.
i told people im a hooker
for free
yeah
hit me up on the cell
1 800 captain hook 4 lyf

i am soooooooo mad that he wants to be with her why would he talk to me about it what is he trying to do grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

ha your a stupid son of a bitch

get a life and quite trying to screw up everybody elses

I have no idea how to feel about any of this
I don't understand it
I don't know what to think about this

I just don't know what to do

I can't talk to my friends about this because they don't like you

i love you....i've loved you along.....i tell everybody including myself that i don't and never did....it makes the pain of not having you easier to handle

1. i cheated, twice, with his best friend, im not gonna stop, and i'm gonna dump him for his friend

2.the guy i'm cheating with thinks i love him but i'm actually in love with a third guy...who will NEVER find out

3. i feel like shit about all of it, and everyone thinks that i don't...and at this point im actually considering telling them all to piss off so i don't have to deal with it any more.

I have so many to share, when i was 8 me and brother experimented sexually, he was 12 at that time and later my aunt who was 14 did the same, maybe i did'nt know what it was but i enjoyed it. Later i experimented with a female friend who was 2 years elder to me and my brother who is of my age.
Last year i joined a groups which was against child sexual abuse and pretended to be abused by my brother and aunt. I have been sexually molested twice when i was 16 and 19 by compelete starngers. I feel bad that i lied.
The problem is i am constantly looking for attention which ever way i get it.
I am overweight and like a boy but he hates, on the other hand, a fat boy likes me and i hate him for being so fat.

That lie about my abuse is killing me but i have taken it too far. The groups has been asking to me to disclose it to my family but i don't have the guts. I am stillw ondering whether what i am thinking is right or not. Was i really suppose to know what was that when i was 7 !!!!!!!!!
I don't blame my brother and aunt, even they even kids back then but i feel giulty of being involved i such a thing.

"-- wrote:

ive masturbate to female porn . .. but im not a lesbian =\"

I do that too. I had major issues with my sexuality, i thought i was a lesbian but i am not.

I love him, he loves me, he won't go out with me, because I said the wrong things when we were going out.

Honestly, I consider leaving, but I'm afraid of life without him because he makes me feel good about myself.

...Sometimes

To all those who feel as if no one cares:
A boy in my class committed suicide the other day. Most of my grade and i have been together with him since first grade. He is (was) a quiet kid. Not many people talked to him because you would only get one word answers but when we learned of his death we cryed. Tomorrow is his funeral and all that i can think about is if i could have said something to stop him. We miss him. So if you feel as if no one cares, you are wrong. People care you just have to give them a chance. I know because i had wanted to not go on with life many times. But it took the death of a classmate to make me realize that i don't want to be always in the memory of my class of the girl who died.

My secret: I'm 17 and I don't believe in love.

you don't love her !!! i know you don't !!!

that ^^^ is how i want it to be....but secretly I KNOW you really DO

refering to the posts above me...
i do the same thing. i masturbate to female porn but i dont think i am a lesbian

i hate the people that come here and judge other peoples secrets or make fun of them

i hate you people

I think I'm anorexic... But i don't want anyone to know. All I've eaten all week is a half a sandwhich and a cup of yogurt. My friend says she goes 3 days without eating all the time. I just want to loose weight. I'm scared. I don't want to hurt myself but I can't stop.

i have no secrets compared to the ones you guys have... thanks for making me feel better...about a lot of stuff= especially my life. nonetheless, i wish i could take the pain away from some of you people, so that maybe you could be able appreciate your lives and yourselves as much as i do rite now. a lot of you should have never been through what you have or should be going through what you are rite now. but since you have/ are, i hope that because of it all, you become that much stronger...

i have no secrets compared to the ones you guys have... thanks for making me feel better...about a lot of stuff= especially my life. nonetheless, i wish i could take the pain away from some of you people, so that maybe you could be able appreciate your lives and yourselves as much as i do rite now. a lot of you should have never been through what you have or rather should not be going through what you are rite now. but since you have/ are, i hope that because of it all, you become that much stronger...

1.like i said before, i wish my parents could give me the freedom i deserve. i mean there just so darn overprotective. sometimes i fell as if i am the only one like this out in the whole world! it makes me want to die

2. i have tried so hard to become anorexic but its sooo hard. i thought it would be easier but it oviously isnt. i am 180 pounds in weight! it makes me want to die

3.i wonder all the time if i am lesbian. i look at porn all the time and i actually enjoy it. i enjoy it more of females then males but i am not lesbian...i think. this makes me wanna die

4.i wish i were secretly raped so that i dont have to wander all the time wat sex feels like. this thought makes me wanna die

5. i cut myself and enjoy the pain of it. i have nearly swallowed poison like 10 times and have wanted to stab my self nearly 100 times. i want to die

6. SHOULD I JUST COMMIT SUICIDE????

To I_WISH: all i can say is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DO NOT COMMIT SUISIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please just don't do it i don't know who you are or anything about you but i still care and i'm sure a lot of other people do to and believe me you are not alone i promise i've been there you'll get through this...through all of this...i did ... believe me it will be ok

i hate you right now ..i hate you so much..because i want to be with you so bad...and i can't be..its probably for the best...but i don't really care..i just want to be in your arms

My 'friend" always makes fun of me being so tall and skinny. She only does it because she is really dark,fat and ugly. I really dont like her that much.

My 'friend" always makes fun of me being so tall and skinny. She only does it because she is really dark,fat and ugly. I really dont like her that much.

i'm a christian. But i find to much pleasure in bad things, like drinking and sex.

Im a girl who walks down the hall with butterfiles in ehr stomach when she sees yu...Im 13 and I can't stop thinking about someone...I always say i can't fall in love because im so young...but then what do I call what I am feeling about him? I LOVE HIM!

My friend I talked about early got in a fight with me. Thank God!!! Beacause now I have a good reason to hate her and feel good about my self

I feel mostly all my friend are fake and I the only one real. They change I front of people I don't. This makes me feel mature :)

i hate fake people. for real!

My friend was abused by her boyfriend and i try to make people think i care and its working but i dont, i am actually kind of happy because shes a whore and needs to stop dating all these guys so i think she kinda deserves it.

i would wait for you forever............

........but that is so unrealistic

I watched my brother die. It was my fault. My parents look at me differently. I think that every time they look at me they are wishing that I had died instead.

i like a boy names steven

or do i ....

i change my mind i dont like him anymore

HAHAHAHHA b-al likes to watch oprah daily and when he gets mad, he hits the floor with his hand, and then he curses in church and he watches blue's clue's because he OBVIOUSLY knew that MAGENTA was the purple dog and his screen name is wH1t3 b0iThatCntdanC3 AHAHHAHA oh, he's also HALF JAPANESE, omggg and he was hiding behind shane because he though he was gonna be beaten up by david, ohh lordyy, tooo funny! ok well thats myyyyy secrettt:)

All my friends have something to be sad about, A death, Divorse, being suicidal, me? I have such a great life that i'm sad about it. I have nothing to be sad about so i exagerate everything. I become a drama queen so i can maybe, just maybe, have a problem.

I live with a dysfunctional mother. She pushes me way too far and sometimes I want to kill myself. But she would never know because she works at a school and only cares about the kids at the school or that’s how it feels. I really should be happy I have a wonderful boyfriend that loves me and will always love me…… then why am I so unhappy with her and her life. She’s so cruel to me and my sister that sometimes I wish she had never left our father because she was a happier person then. But then I feel bad about saying this because I know that she tries REALLY hard but its truly not enough. I guess I just want people to know truly how hard it is to live with out two parents. Be thankful for what you have because you might loose it one day just like I did.

I cut but Ive lied to people & told them I didnt. I used the excuse that my dad dropped a knife on my wrist when I was washing dishes.
;Im also dating a great guy but Id rather date one of my best friends. Im bisexual & Ive quit denying it.
;also Id rather date one of my boyfriends' friend because he's bisexual too.
;guys kissing really turns me on but I cant see gay porn - so I read gay fanfictions. I get turned on a lot by them.
;I want to be a guy just to kiss another guy.
;Id give up my virginity to my female friend that I like before I ever would give it up to my boyfriend.

i hate you for not believing in me
....even if this may be a mistake.....

He's only in love with who he *thinks* I am, not who I really am. I'm jealous of the fictional image he carries in his head even though I strove to present it to him. I want to be loved unconditionally by him, only by him, and I'm afraid now it will never happened.

I don't get it...What's the differnece between me...&& her? Why? Why can 't you just be there..for me?

my dick is smaller then a tick tack im 15 and im worried

i have loved yu for along time now but yu dont love me back so i dont know what to do...yu knew i loved yuu ....i want to tell yu but i cant

i loved yu and peeople think that yuu are something that yu arent they call yu things that is bullshit i know cuz i love yuu alot

see...thats what I mean...he doesn't get it...I love him...the way he loves her..but to him...it means nothing...i just sit her in tears..

see that's what I mean...he loves her...the way i love him...but he doesn't get it...he means alot to me..i sit hear in tears trying to figure out the differnece between me and her...whats so great about her...like why? =*(

Thanks yuu made my day...

Fuck yuu.. You have no idea...shes the biggest fag..but yuu still love her =S OPEN YUR EYES SOME PEOPLE OUT HERE ACTAULLY CARE ABOUT YUU!

I was an escort for 8 months I made over $30,000.
Now I'm a receptionist makes 19,000/year. I wish I had the heart to escort agian, but my soul won't let me.

My boyfriend loves me I love him. I'm always scared to say it and scared when he talks about the future. Everytime I think about my ex I miss him and think of how it could've turned out. Everyone tells me what a bad person he was, but I don't want to believe them. I catch myself calling my boyfriend by my ex or dailing my ex's number. I know that if I wanted him back he would take me in a second. I tell my boyfriend I'm completely over him.

I cheated on my boyfriend. I even told him the guy had feelings for me and he asked if I had them back, I said no. That was the night we hooked up.

I always compare myself to my boyfriend's ex.

I know that I'm going to break his heart into little tiny pieces in the end. I told him this but he still loves me.

I wish I could have as much love in me as he has in him.

I'd take losing weight over not having an eating disorder any day.

I'm addicted to dramatics.

I'm 18 and never been kissed. It's embarassing. I'm not ugly, just a bit of an ice maiden. I don't want to put my trust in someone and have them screw me over. But at the same time, I just want to get it over with.

Everyone Thinks My Life is Perfect
I'm Not Happy..

I feel depressed that no one really cares, only two people have noticed that i cut myself. I have been cutting myself for the longest time. I hate my mom for abandoning me in the past. I think of comitting suicide most of the time. I also love one of my best friends. The thing is i know he loves someone else. Everyone except my sister has no clue about anything in my life.

I hate feeling like my life is spiraling out of control and wish anyone would rescue me.

i would commit suicide right now

but i'm NOT going to let them win !

Dear I WIN & AMY,
I can't do much to ease your pain but i just wanna HUG you both hard, and tell you things will be OK. Have faith =)
Love

Hey LC, I am 20 and i have been kissed either, what the heck, i have never been a relationship either. Big deal, i will fall in love some day and i know that my first kiss will be amazing. It will be with someone whom i love and what's the point in getting into a relationship just for the heck of it. You don't have to fasten things up just coz' everyone is doing that. We have to make certain choices in life.
I am sure you would find the perfect *person* for yourself one day.

i miss TAKS week.

the week that is made a huge deal the whole year...

but all we do is watch movies after the testing period.

i didnt get to finish watching twister :[

I wish something horrible would happen in my life so I would have and excuse to be this unhappy.

I am a lesbian and I like to pretend I am a man and that I can rape girls with my strap-on dildo

Janna you're a fucking idiot.

My best friend (((in school))) is such a fucking slut. i hate her. she gave her boyfriend a blow job while i was in the fucking room.. 8 feet away. i cant stand her. im waiting for her to ask why im ignoring her just so i can snap at her and tell her i dont want to be friends with the schools slut anymore. i really want to... badly.

i'm bulimic

I just want to let all the women who have been in life know that I treated you like crap because I hate myself. Matt.

If my operation isn't successful, I'm going to kill myself to stop the pain.

I am secretly gay and I like to look at gay anime porn. It really gets me off, especially when it includes animals.

i think those kids who get raped, or killed cause they put too much personal info on the internet deserve to get die. people that fucking stupid dont belong in society. when i hear of stories like that i laugh!!!!

( not including mental ill people) they cant help that they dont understand not to put personal stuff on the internet. && most likely they have enough common sense too not to do that

i compare EVERYONE to him, even though i kno he doesnt like me( and never did). worst of all hes my best friends boyfriend, but id fuck him in a second

i envy the will power of people with anerxiea!

i envy the will power of people with anerxia!

I'm still in love with my exgirlfriend. I hope my boyfriend never finds out.

I will always be a lesbian.

Cant win for losing....soo why bother trying

It kills me when i hurt him.........

i cant solve this riddle......

The procedure is actually quite simple. First you arrange things into different groups. Of course, one plie may be sufficient depending on how much there is to do. i fyou have to go somewhere else due to lack of facilities, otherwise you are pretty well set. It is impotant not to overdoo things. that is, it is better to do too few things at once than too many. in the short run this may not seem important, but complications can easily arise. A mistake can be expensive as well. At first the whole procedure will seem complicated. Soon, however, it will become just a facet of life. it is difficult to forsee any end the the necessity for this task in the immediate future, but then one can never tell. After the procedure is completed one aranges the materials into different groups again. Then they can be put into their appropriate places, eventully they will be used once more and the whole cycle will then have to be repeated. however, this is part of life.

what is this?

I am one of those people that make gay people lives a living hell by making them outcasts and now i can sleep better at night.

i really luv my boyfriend but i push him away or change the subject most of the time whenever he asks me about my past.......if he knew everything that's ever happened or everything that i have ever done.....he would never want to see my horrible face again...

i am in love with one of my classmates but i am too afraid to tell him. i think he likes me too. i see him everywhere.

I hate that no one notices me. All my obnoxious friends become friends with tons of intresting people...because they are "fun" and since I'm so shy, I always get ignored.

I was I was fun.

I hate that no one notices me. All my obnoxious friends become friends with tons of intresting people...because they are "fun" and since I'm so shy, I always get ignored.

I wish I was fun.

I HATE when people call me shy or say I should talk more. And when shy people tell me I'm shy. Shut the hell up you annoying pain in the butts. MIne your own buiness I can be as quite as I want . GET A FREAKING LIFE.

not shy::

i feel the exact same way and i promise i'm not shy but people still say i am and thats what i'm known for and I HATE IT!! more than anything!! cause i feel like nobody ever hears what i say

i want him to be happy and i told him that

i just want him to be happy with me....not her

i just wish i could come out and tell everyone that im suicidal, i just want to be dead (i hate haveing it bottled up in side me )

i always check how much advil we have left, hoping it will be enough to finish me off...

I hate how my boyfriend is treating me but im to scared to let go. I dont feel i can meet anyone else

i love my boyfriend even though people tell me im to good for him not just the puppy kinda love the kind where i just want to grow old so i can be with him all the time all i want in life is to get married have 3 kids and live life... THATS ALL

I'm gay.

Back when I was suicidal a girl helped me get through my problems... she helped me so much I fell in love with her.

A little while after she got a boyfriend and has been with him for 2 years now.. she'll never truely know how much she meant to me..

He treats me so badly. so hot and cold.
All he wants is sex and I'm afraid that if I give it to him, he'll be gone like a shot.
but then.
He might leave anyways.
I just don't know what to do.

My best friend is depressed and a drug addict. My other 3 are obsessive compulsive, antisocial and practically married. I hate them for it, and I miss when we could all smile.

I hate my body, and it ruins my day all the time. I miss being anorexic. At least i felt like there was effort.

I love my boyfriend a lot and we're engaged. Did I mention that I am 15 and he is turning 15 later this year?

Yeah, I'm scared it might not last even though I want it to so badly. :'( I love him with all my heart.

........................
| i feel trapped |
........................

Im in love with my boyfriend. Ive been with him for 6 years now. Im 16, hes 20. Right now, hes in jail for molesting a 4 year old. nobody thinks he did it, but I know he did, i had him tell em all about it while we had sex. Also, since hes been in jail, i masturbate 5 or 6 times a day. To get off, all i think about is him touching that girl, or....my mom getting laid by tons of diffrent black guys at the same time. and when i masturbate, its all over the place, with anything thats near me, brushes pens, electric toothbrushes, shower heads, sometimes, i put ice cubes inside of me then take them out and put them back in the tray. When i see my mom drink something, and put them in it, i get so turned on. I want to tell my boyfriend about the way i am. I miss him so much, and i love him to death, and were supposed to get married....but...he has to register as a sex offender, and i just dont know how long i can stand by him. Then again...im just as sick as he is.

ok yeah i got plenty that i dont even like to tell myself:

-im horny 24/7
-i hate masturbating but i wont stop cuz i feels so good
-i used to cut myself one time so bad it wouldnt stop bleeding all night
-i am a happy person in public but when i get home and see what a mess everything is i wanna go to sleep not deal with it and never wake up
-ive tried to kill myself a few times
-i get yell at my boyfriend when im really upset with everything except him
-i secretly hate one of my old best friends with a passion and i wish she would die
-i hate seeing myself naked i feel like crying because my body is not what i want it to be
-i love having sex not only because it feels good but because its nice to feel loved once in a while
-sometimes i wish i was born with down syndrome or i have a disordor and needs to be taken care of just because i want attention
-i wish i had more friends
-i secretly want to be raped by a stranger on the street just because i want to be mistreated so i can realize how wonderful other people are
-im only 15

i wish i was bulimic, i hate my body

i want someone to mend my broken heart
but
no one even knows that it's broken

i told him i want to wait till we're married to have sex

but i lied.

i have lots of friends and a boyfriend but my best friend is probably the only one who actually cares what happens to me. but im lying to her and if she knew that i have smoked pot with my boyfriend, promised to give him a blow job and im bulimic i don't think even she would care. im letting my whole family down because my sister is now in rehab for the second time and im supposed to be the perfect one. i cant stand it that the one person who i used to tell everything to is now the one person i can't confide in. also, everyone thinks im better and that the meds are working.....but the truth is....i still want to die

I weigh 120 i used to be "the skinny one" and now I know that Im not and when they say that I am that makes me feel like barfing in their face and telling them This is what you have gotten me to!Also I am with my boyfriend just cause i want to be loved I feel so bad lying to him and thinking about someone else I'll never tell him I'll learn to love him I know that I will...

sometimes I just want to scream:

-I hate it when he mkaes eye contact with other girls
-even though I'm not sure about him
-Ive decided to give him a baby
-I hate my english teacher I wish she would just die!
-I'm afraid that I will never be able to have kids
-I'm afraid that my boyfriend will leave me if i can never have kids
-I don't even want a baby right now I just say i do so that he can hug me and tell me how much he loves me
-I am only 16

i've been going out with my b/f for like well it's gonna be a month on the 10 and we've already done it more than once and we've already talked about having kids and actuall y tried and he wants to get me pregnant and i don't want to be but i say i do just so that he will be happy and not leave me...ever!I feel that we are moving way to fast especially for my age(16) but I don't know how to tell him and I don't think that I ever will I just want to cry and be dead but is not gonna happen I'm too scared to off myself

Also:
I have an aunt she is 26 she is physically disabled she gets on my nevrves so much I hate doing stuff for her that she can't do I just want to tell her o fuck off and get a life when she wants to tag along with me and my b/f am i wrong for that? she has pushed me to my limits but tshe is my aunt and i talk to her about all me guy problems and she listens that's when i like her ....that felt good letting all that out

i really hate the fact that i can say i've never kissed... i no its not the biggest thing in the world but i hate it!

ive wrote many secrets on this page

I never really tried to commit suicide but i swear that i've told the lie so many times i belive it's true.

i had a good childhood i cant complain i cry because im doing badly in school im not crying for myself i cry for my mother who could go blind in a matter of time. im so scared and full of regret
happy sweet sixteen

I love you all so much.... all of your differences and depression and everything i still love each and every one of you. I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!!

I was sad to leave, but my reason for crying wasn't that I was leaving; it's that no one cared I will.

I selpt with this guy that had a g/ and i knew he had a g/f but i did it anyways cause he told me he had strong feelings for me then he just stopped talking to me now that i see him he tries to stare deeply into my eyes i just look away and start making out with my b/f i wonder if he as feelings for me or just wanted to get some cause his girl wouldn't give him any oh well who cares now I love my boyfriend rigt now he is my life and everyone else is not even there

I was so scared to kiss a guy in fear of doing it wrong. But after my first kiss I lost all feelings for the guy I was dating.
Now with my current boyfriend, he's more of a sympathy-thing. And I only go to him when I feel really alone.

I'm afraid that I might go blind since I have such bad eyesight and it keeps on gettin worse and I am only 14.

i haft to pretend that it doesnt bother me
but it does . . . it really does

All my feelings are fake. I cry just to feel normal but it doesnt help. I've even made others break my heart but I still didnt feel anything.

All my feelings are fake. I force muself to cry just to feel normal but it doesnt help. I've even made others break my heart but I still didnt feel anything.

i read these secrets to make myself feel better. because i then now that my life isnt as bad as i make it seem.

thank you all.

i have become the kind of person i turly despise

somtimes i cut myself just to see how much i can bleed without dying but even all the blood wont wash away all my feelings of desperation and deppression sometimes i just want someone to hit me so hard that i might go into a coma so i dont have to deal with thingsand mabey if i wake up things will make more sense and my mom and dad will be back together again somtimes i wonder what it would feel like to be raped by a knife the pain would be the only constant thing in my life slitting my rists is to messy and a gun is too loud a might just through myself off a building i wonder what i would think about just before hitting the groundi cant tell the difference between the really world and the one i make up... im a pathalogical liar

im 35 years old i often wonder if i should be looking at children this way.. im a satanist not because i dont think god exsist only because i wonder how a god so great could posbly let my father do the things to me he did...my mom never really care because she was too drunk or to busy looking for her next high to notice... one time i stepped on my kittens head to see how long it would suffer before it died now i want to see how long it would would take a human... im afriad im going to kill my wife, i hate her and i dont know y i think i married her just so id feel less pathetic, shes the only one whos ever been there for me but everytime she trys to help i jst want to fucking stab her and to top it all off the worthless whore fucks some twenty somthing in my god damn bed... im worried what will happend if i dont keep myself in controll... im afriad help me

I would have given her anything and everything I could to make her happy... but she feels "she can't give me what I want"
The only reason I think this is bs because all I could ever ask is to be close friends...thats the only thing that has made me happy.
Now I feel our friendship is falling apart and its my fault for having those feelings for her in the first place...

This makes me feel I want a car to hit me everytime I cross the street, it'll put me out of my misery ... please ...

i'm in love with my best friend but i can't tell him because i don't have any friends other than him, and i don't want to lose him too.

well, I have one wish,
I wish I can fix this life, not mine but all the problems mentioned here. how strange... people are so sad inside, specially innocent kids, I believe a person can make him/herself sad or happy, the way you see the outside is reflected in you. you can change but you need the will, you can change but you need the faith, you can change but you need to be strong. The problem in our society is that no one wants to give, we are all selfish greedy animals. we are such a pity waste.
the question i like the most to ask is why I am in this life, what is the propose of me living, why am I here, no one will tell you the answer better than your heart, go search for the truth in this world if you find it you will be the happiest person on earth, you ve got the secret of life...

I am SO SORRY for pushing you away from me. I am a HORRID friend and extremely selfish person despite what you might think of me. I am only thinking of myself and I makes me sad. Its almost like I want you to feel bad because you unknowingly mad me feel miserable...Im sorry, I'll never do that again...I'm sorry

i hate my best friend right now because she only skips school to go fuck with her boyfriend and every time I tell her something about she gets and attitude I just wanna punch her in her face and tell her to stop being a whore sometimes she really does get on my nerves and I feel like running her over with a car

i am afraid of love

i miss him why did he have to leavce me alone in this world , why did god have to take him from me?

Im afraid to tell my parents anything for the chance that there gunna hate me.

I hate myself, I hate the fact that I cut, I hate the fact that Im fat and I mostly hate the fact that Ill never get a guy in my life.

Ive tried suicide 3 times but never completed it for the fear of dieing.. I dont get it either

He said he liked me. I fell for it. He said he was gunna ask me out. I fell for it again. He ignored me the next day.

He said he liked me. I fell for it. He asked me out. The next day he dumped me.

I told him I hated him. We became friends a week later. He then ruined our friendship by being an ass.

Hes broken me three times, Why do I still need him and want him?

I heard about Alabama hotpocket from a friend and all I could think about was trying it with her.

I told her two days later and she hasn't spoken to me since.

It has been 3 weeks.

i love him and hate him all at th same time but i also have a major like to one of my friends and he flirts with me too.. but Im just so confused

I overreact about everything & get depressed faster than I blink. I cry at LEAST once a month. I cut until I bleed. I started cutting with scissors when I heard City&Color's song "Save your scissors" &it works. when I cut I wish i could until my vein's split open & it's dripping down my arm; just because I feel numb when I cut now. I love one of my friends; we joke about being wives.. We're both girls. Sometimes I want to push her up against a wall and kiss her. when I had my first kiss I didnt feel anything special. I felt like a slut because when I kiss anyone I dont feel anything except a guy in a famous band I met. I was going to makeout with him but my friends&I had to leave. everyday I wonder how good he'd be. Im a virgin & I dont understand what's so special about it. I lack the emotion for physical things in relationships that's why I prefer cuddling. I enjoy being felt up & if someone did, Id be pretty easy. my guy cousin felt me up when we were under a comforter watching a movie... with my other cousins sharing a comforter on the same couch. and I enjoyed it. Im scared with the fact that I think if I had sex with someone I wouldnt care if it was a one night stand. a guy who might soon be my boyfriend said 'what would you grind a guy to get?' i didnt answer; but if I did it wouldve been for him to makeout with me. Im afraid of making out; cause I never had & that id probably let him down...

sometimes i wish i could die to see how many people actually care about me..sometimes i wish i went into coma to see how many people actually would come to see me

i'm afraid i'll never meet THE one cause i've never had a long term relationship and i'm just scared i will never

I secretly hate my sister and want nothing more than to drive a knife into her chest at night.

I also don't have feelings for my boyfriend even though I tell him I can't live without him and that I want to be with him forever. We're getting marriied as soon as we finish school.

I haven't had sex with by boyfriend in 2 months. I found his pornography collection and have found more pleasure watching his porn. By the time he gets home from work..I am done. I think this is too funny. LOL....

this one time tracey n me were guna get it on, but i didnt have any condoms n she didn't want it in the butt so i was like ohh man lets just fuck around n then out of nowhere this lampshade started moving n this kid was filming us with his pants down so i grabbed his camera threw it out the window and then shortly after threw him out. that is why we are living in mexico as of now. i want to come back home.

Things seem to be going better for me...but yet, I still feel like crap on the inside. Am I ever going to be happy? What is happiness? Does it even really exsist...or is it something we make up so that we keep going everyday in search of it? Why can't I make these thoughts stop? Things were so bad over the weekend, in my head, that I begged to die...I sat and talked to myself for an hour....yet, Yesterday, I was thankful I was alive. Is that screwed up or what? What the hell is wrong with me? I just want to be normal...but I am not sure normal is even a reality anymore...

i have a serect im in love with my bestfriend but he doesnt even know i think about him all the time i hate his "love of his life" but i really hate her every time i tell him that "you can do so much better" why cant i say " i like you im so much better ME" but i cant i cant be with him i dont like red hair boys but i really like you i like this other guy but he never had a girlfriend and you can tell i like a "badboy" and and Goodboy" but i just wont go for them i matserbate to there names i yell them out ....im sick and worng

I think life is worthless.

& I wonder, if anyone will ever love me more than my dog.

Sometimes, I want to give up on everyone & everything.

Just love me, please?

=/

I wish i was ugly
then if he still wanted to see me
id know it wasnt just for sex

shes uglier than me
so it hurts me even more

god i wish i could see her..
she is so beutiful.
I want her

my b/f's cousins are telling him stuff about me and he is getting mad at me and the stuff is dumb stuff like talking to boys and stuff ugh!!! i just want to see his cousin's and beat their brains in and then when he gets mad at things like that i just want to call up all my old mess arounds and fuck each and every one of them but i don't do any of this cause yeah im tryingto be true to my b/f and prove to him that Im not lying when i tell him that i love him

when i am with him i never want to let go and yet when he isn't there i pay attention to other guys and even when he is there I think about other people I really wish i could have the one guy i really do want and not trying to be covered up by this lie every time he calls me and says i love you i say it back i don't if i mean it when me and him are in bed i imagine it is always someone else there someone that is not him the bad thing is i don't want to leave him and i may very well be pregnant i want the baby i don't want him i wish the other guy was the dad he also controls me and tells me what to do Im kinda not allowed to have guys friends that he doesn't know or like so now all my guy friends that i use to talk to hate me and just look at me with such hate i want to leave himso bad then i don't want to be alone like i use to be seeing everybody else with thier "love of their life" and me by myself like always or just another girl every one wants to do i just want to be with him and not with the one i am woth right now i only pretend to be in love with him i feel like a whore

Today, is the one year anniversary of my abortion, and i don't feel guilty. Every choice i made has positively affected my life, made me more caring, compassionate, loving, smarter. It has made me a better person. I still wonder whether it would have been a boy or a girl, if they would have looked like their dad, my boyfriend and i are still together.. its never easy for us to look at babies. We're getting married soon, we get a fresh chance to start over responsibly. But i do not feel bad. I feel great, i have never felt more like myself.

When you wanted me I didnt want you . Now I want you so bad and you dont want me. Please want me again?

You will probably never know how much I truely love you.

She is the one... and always will be.
No matter what, I will spend the rest of my life thinking about her.
If she only knew.

She always goes back to him no matter how much a jerk he is. Whats wrong with me?

She always goes back to him no matter how much a jerk he is. Whats wrong with me?

i hate my life i cut myself i am emo goth goth goth i bleed black and cry red i spit out blood and wake up screaming fuck the world

my dick is 24inches and wont fit into any girls pussy and im fucking 12 years old

i'm still hurting cause of him

i hate myself for it

i brought this all on myself

grr

this is to "???" Honestly, I was reading on some science books about the anatomy of human beings and there is NO WAY POSSIBLE that your penis can be 24 inches long, especially at that age. There is NO POSSIBLE WAY that holds to be true. The average size of a mans penis is, lets face it, 5 inches. Men may exagerate but 5 inches is what it'll ever be. NOT 24...

I JUST WISH I HAD A NORMAL FUCKING FAMILY... *bang* I'm dead

oh no its true my dicks 24 fucking inches:|

i think that everybory is crazy...

WHATEVER: i think your crazy. your secrets probably fill up half the fucking page so shut the fuck up

i get extreamly gelious when a girl i like likes one of my friends but i dont show it on the outside.. but inside im crying my fucking eyes out

I wish i could die but i'm too afraid to kill myself

He Will Be At My House In 45 Minutes.
I'm So Afraid. I Don't Know Why.
Why Did I Invite Him Over?
I Love Him, But He Loves Her.
He Thinks That I Want To Be His Friend, But I Want So Much More.

I'm So, So Sorry.

I Started Cutting Because Of Him. Now That He Is Gone, He Refuses To Believe That I Still Hurt Myself. He Will Not Help Because He Thinks I Don't Love Him.

I LOVE YOU ADRIAN.

I exadurate the truth to make myself feel more interesting then I actually am.

I sometimes wear headphones even though I don't have anything to plug them into.

I hate both my grandfathers, luckily one of them died two years ago, the only good thing about that was that I got to go to Halifax to see if he left anything for my family(he was my dad's father) he didn't leave anything for us. Not even a picture or my dad when he was a kid.

I think I'm really fat even though I'm within the average weight for my age and height.

I've never been in love.

I always help one of my friends with his relationship problems and questions, I want to give him the wrong advise, so that he'll stay single, because I really like him. But I alwaysgive him good advise anyway, and it brings a tear to my eye when I think about it.

I need a job, I just don't want to go out and work..I'd rather stay home.

The one person I love more then anything in this world would be my best friend, if she asked me out tomorrow, I would say yes..I love her and she is the only person I truely love. She knows that.

I procrastinate so much that I just don't care anymore.

I have more to say..but I have to go visit my grandparents..eww..

TO ????? :
youre a fucking idiot. grow up you dumb fuck

I say I love you...but I really still love him...

he asks me if i love him i say yeah and he tells me that i just say that to make him happy but i really do love him sometimes i think he's the one that doesn't love me cause he tells me all the time that he loves me and that I'm the only one i hate it when he tells me that he just makes me think even more i hate him for that also i try to seem as if he isn't controlling me but in reality he is i've stop talking to most of my guy friends and now they all hate me i'm only allowed to talk to his friends inside I've been forced to say that i do want to get pregnant which i don't i'm afraid if i tell him i don't want to get pregnant(i'm just 16) he'll leave me and go with somebody who will wanna get pregnant he's also made me change stuff about myself he made me take out a piercing i had i told friends that i had gotten bored of it it wasn't true and he doesn't like me having my hair up so every time that i am with him i am forced to take it down i hate being with him but i also love him and don't wanna be without him he's the only guy that hasn't treated me like a whore i'm stuck in a web that i can't get out of

You know who you are, i see your face everytime i close my eyes. I can still smell your sweet skin, and remember the warmth of your body from spending long sunday mornings in bed with you. I love you, respect you- i only wish you could do the same for yourself. I have read your posts, i will give you the support that you need. Please, just come home.

i never wear underwear

when i'm alone i listen to all the songs that make me cry

I do the same thing

I just threw up my food twice in two hours =(

when my head hurts i never tell anybody because nobody really cares anyway

I love you. I can't get over you. You are beautiful and wonderful and the most handsome man alive. I want to be with you so badly. I am so in love with you. I love hearing your voice and I want to touch you and hold you and love you forever. If you even knew how I felt you would think I'm crazy. I'm crazy because I don't even know you. I don't know you, but Will, I love you. I love you so, so, so much. You are handsome and talented and the nicest person ever.

I hope I have the guts to talk to you.

I am a male, 19 years old, and I have fallen absolutely in love with every male best friend I've ever had.

I get hard when a guy tells me that I'm his best friend.

And I masturbate almost exclusively to thoughts of guys my age having a bowel movement.

But I know I'm not gay. Because every time I've had sex with a girl, all those feelings have left me, and I was happier than I'd ever been in my life.

All I want to do is get married and forget about all this forever.

I'm in love with my gay best friend.

Sometimes I think he loves me back.

We used to kiss and talk about getting married.

Now we just fight all the time.

I smile and pretend everything is okay so people won't pity me.

I say I'm sorry over stupid shit because I want to apologize for lying to you for four year but can't. And because I hope that someday you'll apologize to me for anything.

I think I'm in love with best friend's boyfriend. Him and I have everything in common. He's so nice to me and he even flirts with me. I think she's just using him to relase her hormones. There are days when I think she doesn't even like him like that. He could use someone so much better, like me. We honestly have almost everything in common and we always talk about certain things and she's always clueless. They are just not right for eachother. I think he's kinda noticing that they aren't right for eachother, but I think he loves her to much, in which I don't think she loves him as much as he loves her. He's so nice and I think that she's just taking advantage of actually finding someone that could work if she MAKES it work. THEY ARE JUST WRONG FOR EACHOTHER AND HE AND I WOULD BE PERFECT!!!!

Your dick is not 24 inches. That's not even possible... That's such a fucking lie... MAYBE 24 centimeters... But there is NO POSSIBLE WAY YOUR DICK IS 24 INCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Dad Left My Mom And Me When I Was 7 Years Old. Now, I'm 14. I Haven't Talked To Him Since. I Saw Him Today, And He Didn't Say Hi. I Doubt He Even Recognized Me, Though I Look Just Like Him.

When You Left, You Hurt Me Than You Hurt Mom.

I Hate You. And I Can't Let Go Of The Fact That You Never Really Loved Me.

You're The One That Killed Me, Your "Daughter".

dear Iamhere
thanx for ur concern
i've actually cut my wrists a few times but then my mom noticed the marks and we had a long chat. i feel i can talk to her about anything now. ur right, things are going to get better. i don't even know u, but i am really happy u cared. Although now i wish i did know u now because you seem like a nice person to care. thanx so much for caring. i guess i just wanted to be reminded that someone truly cares:)

i lost a tooth today..

i lie to my friends about kissing guys. really, i have never been kissed.

i dont want to turn 15. im afraid to drive, i've afriad to die, i'm afriad to live, im afraid to dissapoint anyone and everyone, im afraid to let them see me the way i see them. i wish i could stay 14 forever.

I lost my virginity Friday night.

I'm 14.