Professional Wrestler "The Ultimate Warrior" (legal name: Warrior) has a new career -- apparently wrestling doesn't quite work out if you keep leaving the federations, are reponsible for "one of the dumbest angles in WWF's history", and are "too crazy" to run your own "Warrior University." He's a conservative pundit! Recently the College Republicans at UConn brought him to speak on matters such as homosexuality ("queering don't make the world work") and Arabs (he told an Iranian girl to "get a towel.") Let's just say the audience didn't take it well, since the campus police had to get involved. An example of Mr. Warrior's delightful rhetoric, from his UConn Retort -Cowardly College Republicans:

As for the College Republicans who brought me in, well, I can only tell you that I have an apology to make. I apologize for having just gotten over a small cold as I came on your campus and that I was not capable of smelling your rudeness and cowardice out so that I could have taken you to task for your hypocrisy, phoniness and disrespect in person - right there - to set an even more incredible example of leadership and principled behavior.

It gets better from there, really. Something Awful linked to him as the "Awful Site of the Day," calling him a "crazy racist." OMG! Someone called him a bad name on the internets!! I guess it's time for the ultimate weapon in the wrestler's hands -- I refer not to the metal folding chair, or the piledriver, but the threat of a lawsuit! Says the Something Awful guy:

I thought I had seen it all. In my nearly eight years of using the Internet, I've been threatened by lawsuits from webmasters, psychotic game developers, heavy metal bands, adult men who wear diapers, and even more psychotic game developers. I had never, in my entire life, thought I would eventually receive a lawsuit from THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR. Well, not exactly the Ultimate Warrior, but his "Director of Communications," whatever that means. I guess that's the guy who picks up the phone when it rings and then turns it around the correct way so Mr. Ultimate Warrior is speaking into the correct end.

You really should read the entire thread, in which the "Director of Communications" swings between name-calling, lawsuit-threatening, and stalking, before finally giving up. The SA guy taunts him better than any pro wrestler would. Ah, it is to laugh for, this internet.

(There's also a Metafilter thread on the subject.)

M E-L posted this on April 26, 2005
It is filed under Odds & Ends

It is also indexed with the following tags: Wrestling | Law |