I am a shameless Star Wars lover. I use the force. I try not - I do, or do not (there is no 'try'). I have a bad feeling about things. I find your lack of faith disturbing. I let the Wookie win. You get the idea.

And, like so many thirty-somethings, I have shaken my head in sorrow at the first two installments of the second trilogy (I mean, really the first triology, because, you see, Star Wars is really the fourth movie and the first of the second trilogy, even though it was made first. And it is really called "A New Hope." And there were going to be nine they say but . . . hey, why are you backing away from me? Come back! Come ba-a-a-a-ck!).

But there is a true legacy to the Star Wars saga. A tale worthy of the Star Wars name. It is sanctioned by Lucasfilms, covers the period between Episodes II and III is called "The Clone Wars." If you missed the first twenty chapters, you missed Star Wars gold. Shown in three-minute "micro-episodes" (complete with a <1 second long 'preview' of the next installment), it was the best four weeks on television last fall, and had me glued to my television between 8:01 and 8:04 p.m. for a month. It is everything Star Wars should be (meaning "no kissing" and "lots of lightsabers").

Chapters 21-25 air this week at 7:00 p.m. The installments are a little longer (which actually hurts some of the charm), but it is a good, good watch. And you can get the first 20 episodes on DVD.

Did I mention it was a cartoon?

Watch The Clone Wars and you will have taken your first step into a larger world.

Yes, I once had a dream of changing the world with three simple words: Agreement. Commitment. Justification.

But Del Close has left us. I am a Marketing Executive at a Very Important Law Firm. And my dream is being mocked by the Onion.

My Dream has, like the website for which the phrase is named, Jumped the Shark.

My new dream shall be to own an SUV.

This is "no name calling" week. But you probably already knew that didn't you, you little wuss?

It is always amazing to me how ignorant people are of foreign lands and the troubles they face. For example, how many people are aware of how disease continues to claim thousands of lives in Lordaeron? Or the irresponsible and reprehensible environmental damage being wrought by corporate interests in Mulgore (not to mention the massive and intentional deforestation happening in the Stonetalon Mountains)? Or the problems of dislocated communities trying to integrate into mainstream culture while preserving their traditions, as is currently happening in both Durotar and Khaz Modan?

I'm proud to say that I've spent a lot of time and energy trying to address these problems, and I think I'm making a difference. Of course, more hands are always welcome, so if you think you are up to it, read on. Particularly if you are a Druid or a Shaman, as I think those would be the most helpful (though we wouldn't spit on a Rogue).

If you've ever thought that your cat was smarter than you, you should consider the possibility he has an MBA.

As a counter to the rising tide of punditry suggesting that "Moral Values" decided this year's election, I want to put forth the theory that I generally rely upon to explain any instance of disagreement with me: Stupidity.

Or, as Ted Rall suggests, the main difference between me and someone from, say, Kansas, is that "We eat better, travel more, dress better, watch cooler movies, earn better salaries, meet more interesting people, listen to better music and know more about what's going on in the world. If you voted for Bush, we accept that we have to share the country with you. We're adjusting to the possibility that there may be more of you than there are of us."

Secretly, many of you agree with me. You don't want to say it, because it sounds unkind to suggest that 58 million people are dumb. But you are thinking it. And you are right.

I promised an update if it ever happened - a quid pro quo for my pessimism. Thus, I now report, as a full-fledged stand-alone post: I HAVE RECEIVED MY IPOD!

It took over two months from the "completion" of the offer, but it really and truly showed up. As promised, I shall take a picture of it and post it on this post (not that means much, but I did say I would do it, and I am a lout of my word).

Many of you know me in the flesh-and-blood, so this ain't just some guy saying it works - I swear on my tushie I have an iPod sitting in my office. So go get those flat screens, people! Go! Go! Go!

I know I've been away a while (hey, its our busy season), but this was too important to ignore: The cicadas are here. Many online resources are available to protect you from this threat to your children, health and sanity.

News outlets are reporting that Howard Dean has sent an e-mail to his "Dean-iacs" announcing that if he loses Wisconsin, he'll quit the race. The e-mail actually reads (in part), "The entire race has come down to this: we must win Wisconsin ... Anything less will put us out of this race." Whether that is a true "promise to quit" is quite debatable, and official Dean spokesman Jay Carson wouldn't clarify, saying "It's a moot point because we are going to win Wisconsin."

But it got me thinking. This could be your last chance to jump on the Howard Deal Blogwagon. Oh, everyone knows about The Official Howard Dean Weblog, but how many of you have taken the time to explore some of the featured sites that highlight his core constituencies?

It can be overwhelming, of course. First, there is the problem of duelling sites: Who speaks for the Mormons? Mormons for Dean? Mormons for Dean 2? Or the Mormons for Dean Blog? The Unemployed for Dean probably have some time on their hands to Blog, but should you follow Unemployed for Dean Org? Or Unemployed for Dean Com? (I would pick .org. The .com seems counter-intuitive for the out-of-work).

More problematic is trying to identify yourself. Are you best identified by your job? (If so, perhaps you should visit Graphic Designers for Dean, Pilots for Dean, or Petsitters for Dean). Your hobbies? (Drop by Cyclists for Dean, Deadheads for Dean, or maybe even Foodies for Dean). Your sexual identity? (try Gays for Dean, Dykes for Dean, or be inclusive and stick with Out For Dean).

There is no question the ladies have a better range of choices. There are Women For Dean and Women4Dean, but no Men For Dean. You can seek the advice of gentle Common Sense Mom or the more stern sounding Security Moms for Dean, but alas, the only male parent-figure willing to speak up is One Father For Dean (though there are also Two Uncles for Dean). And, what pining lass wouldn't stop by Crushies For Dean or Deanybopper at least once a day?

You can also go regional, though that can be confusing. Do you go statewide (California for Dean)? Or regional (Central Coast for Dean)? Do you go Collegiate (UC Berkeley for Dean)? Or Collegiate Team? (UCLA Bruins for Dean)? And who is supporting who? If you live in Taos, are you better off visiting New Mexico for Dean? Or Dean for New Mexico (and what exactly is New Mexico running for)?

I prefer obvious Dean sites (Dr. Dean the Fighting Machine, Howard Dean Goes to Washington, Dean Nation, etc.), but you can also go the subtle route, scanning completely non-intuitive pro-Dean sites like People Powered Graphics and Music For America (which covers "music and other social causes." Is music really a social cause? American Idol music, too?). My favorites? I like to visit the vaguely dirty-sounding ones like DeanPix, Nurses for Dean, or even Tabling for Dean.

The most obvious failing of the Dean site though? No link to Ishbadiddle.

Some candidates just don't get it.

For ten IshPoints, which of the following newsworthy items from the world of Reality Television is not true? (answer obtained by clicking on the relevant links - make your choice before selecting!)

A. There is a reality show whose premise is to live off the land while Ted Nugent torments you (you know, like chases you around with a chainsaw). Winner gets $25,000. But filming had to be suddenly halted when Ted put the chainsaw through his leg. (NO WAY!)

B. There is a reality show whose premise is to have a dozen dwarf women compete with average-size females for the affection of a 4-foot 5-inch bachelor. Winner gets the bachelor. And it has the support of the LPA (Little People of America). (NO WAY!)

C. There is a reality show whose entire premise is to follow around Mandy Moore and her tennis-player boyfriend Andy Roddick. There are no winners, especially among the viewers. But it looks like it won't get off the ground because even Mandy Moore thinks Mandy Moore is too boring. (NO WAY!)

D. There is a reality show whose premise is tricking a girl into thinking she has to trick her family into thinking she is going to marry a lout, when really the lout is just an actor and the joke is on her (read it again - its complicated). Winner gets $500,000. Unfortunately, the girl turns out to be a Catholic School teacher in real life, and she's getting fired for "making a mockery of marriage." So I guess 'winner' gets fired. (NO WAY!)

Good Luck!

And don't forget to enjoy Survivor All-Stars, on right after the SuperBowl!

So, if you were a famous singer who just happened to be an accused child molester, and you were going to produce a song for another famous singer who just happened to be an accused child molester, what would be the worst possible name for that song? "You Are Not Alone?" Or "One More Chance?"

Perhaps on the suspicion that they are not alone in their interests, or that they may take one more chance to pursue them, a judge has spontaneously ordered Michael Jackson to stay away from R. Kelly at next month's Grammys. No word if the duo will collaborate on a remake of an old classic, tentatively titled, "I Fought The Law (and I Won)."

Someday, I'm totally going to own a dog. Impossible for the moment, since my work hours basically would require me to totally delegate all dog-related duties to my wife, and that is a kind of responsibility-dumping that I only feel comfortable inflicting on my child (who is, for the moment, too young).

I'm a 'mutt' man myself. Can't stand the purebreeds. Too snooty. Too polished. "Legacy dogs," I call 'em. So imagine my chagrin to discover that mutts are all the rage among the well-to-do. Not any old mutt, of course. Only mutts with cute names need apply (Goldendoodles? Isn't that a breakfast cereal? Cockapoo? Isn't that a bird?). And only owners with a couple of G's to spend as well.

Pretty soon, I'm guessing we'll see the pound packed with abandoned Shih-tzus (isn't he a philosopher?) and Yorkies (isn't that a pudding?).

Just something to Schnoodle about (isn't that a traditional German dish?)

Well, how appropriate my first post on the new Ish will be an echo of an old post on the previous Ish: Justice Pickering is back in the news, and in a big way.

"Justice Pickering?" you ask? Yes. Justice Pickering. You see, your President has decided not to muck about with this whole "U.S. Constitution" baloney, and just skip the confirmation process and appoint Charles Pickering to the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals.

How? Well, since Congress is in recess, the President has the power to make "recess appointments." These appointments aren't for life (like a true Federal judge), but they do last until the next Congress takes office - meaning January of 2005.

Moxie. The guy really has moxie. He's basically putting himself above the Constitution - a move that should infuriate true conservatives. It certainly gets my libertarian side's dander up. But if he gets away with this and still gets elected, fuggetta about it. Don't bother with elections in 2008, just declare Bush President-For-Life and let him pick all the judges. Who needs Congress?

For those of you following the factual elements of the Terry Schiavo case (the right-to-die controversy down in Florida), her Independent Guardian has issued his report.

It is interesting for a couple of reasons. First, as to medical elements, he pretty much comes down totally on the side of the husband that Terry is not conscious and is not going to recover, ever. A little side research on the web helped me understand some of the videos making the rounds of Terry moving/smiling, etc. - involuntary reactions that are common to the condition but that do not indicate awareness or potential recovery (and which the Independent Guardian couldn't consistently elicit in response to repeated stimuli).

On the other hand, he doesn't (and really can't) address the core question: What were Terry's wishes? It is all very well and good to put to rest the PSV question, but her condition doesn't make a whit of a difference if she didn't really want to be killed under these circumstances.

So what does it all mean? Sadly, nothing. Litigation will continue down a variety of avenues, and while the medical question may now be settled, the factual question of what did this woman actually want may never be known. I think I'm going to put in my living will that I want to be killed if I'm ever at risk of having my unconscious body being used in the mass media as a grisly symbol for a cause.

Of course, not all forms of brain-death are inappropriate for the mass media. If you need to lighten your mood from all the recent hatchet burials, voting scandals and Kennedy-mourning, you can always check out Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie slumming it in a red state for a month on The Simple Life, a new "reality" show from Fox. Best moment of the first episode: Paris Hilton not understanding a reference to a soup kitchen ("what's a soup kitchen?"), tied with her asking if Wal-Mart is where you buy stuff for walls. I'm scared to think that she probably is that dumb. I mean ill-informed. No, wait a minute. I meant dumb.

It was with a mix of regret, interest and amusement that I read about how Progress Media is on the verge of taking to the airwaves with a liberal radio network meant to provide a left-wing alternative to the Rush Limbaugh/Savage Nation/etc. crowd.

Do we really need a left-wing version of Rush Limbaugh? I know some people here think yes - we need the "angry liberal" to counteract the "angry conservative" voices that fill the airwaves with distortions and spin. Personally, my gut says no - that is stooping to their level. But I have to admit, taking the high road with Bill O'Reilly and his ilk sure doesn't seem like a real great solution either.

I actually have listened to snatches of conservative talk radio from time to time, and I have to say, it is absolutely brutal. If you've never heard Savage Nation, try getting through five minutes of it to hear what some people are listening to for hours on end. It will really open your eyes. It does make Fox News look "fair and balanced." At the same time, I can't say I would be thrilled to hear an equally nasty and distorted voice ranting opinions I happen to believe in. I certainly wouldn't listen to it on a regular basis.

Can such a station succeed? Would that be a good thing as a general principal? An effective tactic for the upcoming election?

I truly and honestly have started to feel like the absolute best source of objective news in the mass media is The Daily Show. They may have an agenda, but it is simply to mock everyone, so they rarely have to spin anything - the truth is just so mockable . . . .

I'm not sure which is weirder: The Comedy Central parody, "Straight Plan for the Gay Man," or the totally straight (uh . . . I mean, not-tongue-in-cheek) "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" episode that will switch preferences and be called "Straight Eye for the Queer Guy."

Maybe they all get topped by the "very special episode" of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy planned for Christmas (Yes, for real. Mentioned in the second article). Perhaps it will address the question, "What Would Jesus Wear (if the Fab Five helped him out!)"

You may have wondered what idiots in the Fox legal department could have possibly allowed the filing of the amazingly stupid lawsuit against Al Franken's "Liars" book. But you would be unkind to wonder such a thing. After all, they have their hands full killing even stupider lawsuits. For example, how about the time Rupert Murdoch wanted to sue himself?

So, about a month ago, I asked Ish to opine on a tax policy issue that has always bothered me: When it comes to tax cuts/laws, why do low-income people vote against their interests, yet high-income people vote for their interests?

Well, it turns out better minds than mine were pondering that exact question. Professor Larry Bartels (Princeton) has published a paper titled, "Homer Gets a Tax Cut: Inequality and Public Policy in the American Mind." I don't have a copy of the paper, but here is a link to this morning's New York Times article summarizing his findings.

His conclusion? People are stupid.

You know, every time I post something I find interesting, I find something even better ten minutes later. So, once again, I ask your apology for a double post.

MoveOn.Org is a left-wing political action group that started up as an "Anti-Impeachment" organization and has since branched out into other pro-Democrat/anti-Republican activities.

Today they launched an e-mail spam campaign (sent originally to their own mailing list, but with the usual spam exhortations to "forward this e-mail to your friends and colleagues," which means I'm going to get twenty of these pesky things).

I won't bore you with the contents of the e-mail (though you can see much of the text, minus the spam elements at their website page devoted to this issue), but the basic idea is that they suggest that while President Bush could easily flush out the Valerie Plame traitor "in a day" by simply "ask[ing] his staff to sign a legally binding affidavit confirming that they weren't involved, and referr[ing] anyone who wouldn't to the FBI . . . [yet] the President hasn't even discussed this [option.]"

My question for the crowd here is this: Seriously?

I see no indication on the MoveOn.Org site that they take themselves anything less than very, very seriously, so it isn't clear to me that this is a joke. It seems they are really suggesting that it would be a reasonable course of action to circulate these affidavits to every member of the administration and have the FBI investigate anyone who refuses to comply - and that President Bush is unreasonable for not considering such a great idea.

Am I totally missing an obvious joke? Or am I too stupid to see why this would be a great way to deal with an issue like this? Am I just imagining the Heller-ish sound of this Great Loyalty Oath Crusade?

So, you all know that Arnold Terminated Davis on Tuesday (and stomped Bustamonte by over a million votes). But what about the other fun candidates? What ever happened to them?

For a prize of one million dollars*, rank these actual California gubnatorial candidates in the order of the number of votes they received:

1. Angelyne
2. Gary Coleman
3. Mary "Carey" Cook
4. Bob Dole
5. Larry Flynt
6. Ariana Huffington
7. Michael Jackson
8. Ted Kennedy
9. David Robinson
10. Richard Simmons

No peeking at the actual results!

Good luck!