Microsoft makes patent claim for "sparklines in the grid"!! Via Waxy.

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We've finally finished reading the entire Harry Potter saga aloud to the boys. So here are some things that I want to know (spoilers ahead, but if you haven't read it by now you probably won't care):

• Is Voldemort just stupid? He hides a Horcrux in the Room of Requirement, and assumes he's the only person to have ever hidden anything there? Despite centuries' worth of junk filling the place?
• Hermione manages to pack everything they need for their extended camping trip into her bag -- tent, cloaks, portrait of Nigellus Black, etc. Yet somehow she forgets to bring food, and she and Harry and Ron end up scrounging for mushrooms. I know that you can't magically make food, but couldn't she have just thrown a bunch of cans and a can opener in there?
• The plan to get Harry out of the Dursley's house seemed stupid enough when we're told it was Mundungus' plan. But this was the best that Dumbledore could come up with -- put the entire Order at risk, and give the Death Eaters the right date? I admit that the "seven Potters" is dramatic and all. But couldn't they have FedExed a Portkey to Harry? Or have him leave in a Muggle cab or something?
• Fiend fire? Really? Crabbe conveniently uses this spell we've never heard of before, and which just so happens to have Horcrux-destroying capabilities?

OK, I'm done with the picking of nits. We're still figuring out what series to read next; in the meantime we're in the middle of James and the Giant Peach. Did Roald Dahl write any bad books? M E-L posted this | this entry's link | 2 comments

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Camping with Myself: Two Years in American Tuscany. Book Titles, If They Were Written Today. Lots more here. Via Waxy.

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Games --> Wikipedia:Category:Paper and pencil games --> Tic-Tac-Toe --> "COMPUTER RECREATIONS: A Tinkertoy computer that plays tic-tac-toe," A. K. Dewdney --> The Planiverse: Computer Contact with a Two-Dimensional World, a very cool book about life (and physics) in two dimensions I read when I was 11 --> Flatland --> The Original Flatland Role Playing Game --> Games

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Visualizing the evolution of Darwin's On the Origin of Species. Via Waxy.

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Below is my review of The Everything Kids Riddles & Brain Teasers Book: Hours of Challenging Fun:

If you want to introduce your children to the world of brain teasers, puzzles, and riddles, this just might be the worst book you could give to them. It is chock full of wrong answers, ambiguous questions, factual errors, and logical fallacies. There are "brain teasers" that no one could possibly answer "correctly." There are questions whose premises make no sense whatsoever.

After we kept running across wrong answers, I confiscated this book from my son. I imagine most parents buy this for their children without reading it themselves. Let me save you the trouble. I read through 117 pages of this book and found 68 questions with errors (wrong facts, unworkable puzzles, etc.) Here are a few choice examples:

"Once upon a time, a little girl dressed in blue went to her grandmother's Swiss cottage. Why?" Answer: "She was hungry for some cheese."

"When Mini's family pulled up at the motel, Mini, her parents, and 12 brothers and sisters poured out of the car. How could that happen?" Answer: "Mini and her family are mice." Mice, of course, that drive. There couldn't be any other explanation, right?

"When Maddy started school, she was 5 years old. Now that she is in third grade, she is only 6. How can that be? Hint: Maddy's birthday is in February." Answer: "Maddy's birthday is on February 29th." Never mind the distinction between "having your 5th birthday" and "being 5 years old" -- by the premise of the question, Maddy would be 20 years old when she entered Kindergarten.

"It's Norma's 12th birthday. This year, her family gave her a boom box. If every year before were the same, how many does she have?" Answer: "One -- every year is not the same!" Have you heard of the subjunctive, Ms. Wagner? Do you know what an "If-Then" statement is? Do I want to throw your book out the window?

This book will make you stupid.

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Harry Potter?

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What, Rupert Murdoch is not Voldemort?

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Debbie called me with a question: did I remember the name of this sci-fi story about spelling reform, where the reforms gradually take place as the story progresses? I did not, but did find The Spelling Society, which advocates the removal of irregularities from English spelling. (Sorry, Frank, but I think a lot of them blame Dr. Johnson.) From there she found the story, often pseudepigraphically attributed to Mark Twain, but actually written by W. K. Lessing, writing pseudonymously as Dolton Edwards, in the September 1946 issue of Astounding Science Fiction magazine. (As far as I can tell, neither Lessing nor Edwards wrote anything else.)

Meihem In Ce Klasrum by Dolton Edwards.

Because we are still bearing some of the scars of our brief skirmish with II-B English, it is natural that we should be enchanted with Mr. George Bernard Shaw's proposal for a simplified alphabet.

Obviously, as Mr. Shaw points out, English spelling is in much need of a general overhauling and streamlining. However, our resistance to any changes requiring a large expenditure of mental effort in the near future would cause us to view with some apprehension the possibility of some day receiving a morning paper printed in - to us - Greek.

Our own plan would achieve the same end as the legislation proposed by Mr. Shaw, but in a less shocking manner, as it consists merely of an acceleration of the normal processes by which the language is continually modernized.

As a catalytic agent, we would suggest that a "National Easy Language Week" be proclaimed, which the President would inaugurate, outlining some short cut to concentrate on during the week, and to be adopted during the ensuing year. All school children would be given a holiday, the lost time being the equivalent of that gained by the spelling short cut.

In 1946, for example, we would urge the elimination of the soft "c," for which we would substitute "s." Sertainly, such an improvement would be selebrated in all sivic-minded sircles as being suffisiently worth the trouble, and students in all sities in the land would be reseptive toward any change eliminating the nesessity of learning the differense between the two letters.

In 1947, sinse only the hard "c" would be left, it would be possible to substitute "k" for it, both letters being pronounsed identikally. Imagine how greatly only two years of this prosess would klarify the konfusion in the minds of students. Already we would have eliminated an entire letter from the alphabet. Typewriters and linotypes kould all be built with one less letter, and all the manpower and materials previously devoted to making "c's" kould be turned toward raising the national standard of living.

In the fase of so many notable improvements, it is easy to foresee that by 1948, "National Easy Language Week" would be a pronounsed sukses. All skhool tshildren would be looking forward with konsiderable exsitement to the holiday, and in a blaze of national publisity it would be announsed that the double konsonant "ph" no longer existed, and that the sound would henseforth be written with "f " in all words. This would make sutsh words as "fonograf" twenty persent shorter in print.

By 1949, publik interest in a fonetik alfabet kan be expekted to have inkreased to the point where a more radikal step forward kan be taken without fear of undue kritisism. We would therefore urge the elimination at that time of al unesesary double leters, whitsh, although quite harmles, have always ben a nuisanse in the language and a desided deterent to akurate speling. Try it yourself in the next leter you write, and se if both writing and reading are not fasilitated.

With so mutsh progrs already made, it might be posible in 1950 to delve further into the posibilities of fonetik speling. After due konsideration of the reseption aforded the previous steps, it should be expedient by this time to spel al difthongs fonetikaly. Most students do not realize that the long "i" and "y," as in "time" and "by," are aktualy the difthong "ai," as it is writen in "aisle," and that the long

"a" in "fate" is in reality the difthong "ei" as in "rein." Although perhaps not imediately aparent, the seiving in taime and efort wil be tremendous when we leiter elimineite the sailent "e," as meide posible bai this last tsheinge.

For, as is wel known, the horible mes of "e's" apearing in our writen language is kaused prinsipaly bai the present nesesity of indekeiting whether a vowel is long or short. Therefore, in 1951 we kould simply elimineite al sailent "e's" and kontinu to read and wrait merily along as though we wer in an atomik eig of edukation.

In 1951 we would urg a greit step forward. Sins bai this taim it would hav ben four years sins anywun had usd the leter "c," we would sugest that the "National Easy Languag Wek" for 1951 be devoted to substitution of "c" for "Th." To be sur it would be som taim befor peopl would bekom akustomd to reading ceir newspapers and buks wic sutsh sentenses in cem as

"Ceodor caught he had cre cousand cistls crust crough ce cik of his cumb."

In ce seim maner, bai meiking eatsh leter hav its own sound and cat sound only, we kould shorten ce languag stil mor. In 1952 we would eliminait ce "y"; cen in 1953 we kould us ce leter to indekeit ce "sh" sound, cerbai klarifaiing words laik yugar and yur, as wel as redusing bai wun mor leter al words laik "yut," "yor," and so forc. Cink, cen, of al ce benefits to be geined bai ce distinktion whitsh wil cen be meid between words laik:

Tradspel ocean machine racial

Drem oyean Mayin reyial

ENglis oSan maSEn rasal

Spanglish óshan machien réshal

Al sutsh divers weis of wraiting wun sound would no longer exist, and whenever wun keim akros a "y" sound he would know exaktli what to wrait.

Kontinuing cis proses, ier after ier, we would eventuali hav a reali sensibl writen langug. By 1975, wi ventyur tu sei, cer wud bi no mor uv ces teribli trublsum difikultis, wic no tu leters usd to indikeit ce seim nois, and laikwais no tui noises riten wic ce seim leter. Even Mr. Yaw, wi beliv, wud be hapi in ce noleg cat his drims fainali keim tru.

Reprinted from Astounding Science Fiction, Street and Smith Publications, Inc. (now Analog Science Fiction and Fact ). 1946.

I think in 1975, that's exactly how I did spell.

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I've seen some of these before, but this round up of "Creepy Old Ads" is worth a look. Certainly not the only old badvertising out there -- have you ever seen this Jello commercial? And speaking of badvertising, check out these ads for Internet Explorer 8. Ummmm.... yeah.

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More here. Via BoingBoing.

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I need a new USB extension cable. (I stepped on the last one, crushing the female lead.) I go to Newegg (best computer hardware store in the known universe) and find this user-written review of the BYTECC 6 ft. Type A Male to Type A Female USB 2.0 Extension Cable Model USB2-6MF-K - Retail:

You complete me.
Reviewed By: Andrew on 4/15/2009
Rating + 5

Pros: It works.
Cons: Someday it will die, like everything else in the world.

Other Thoughts: Ah, beautiful USB extension cable,
You complete my connections.
When I am over here
And my flash drive is over there
You bring us together.
When I am over here
And my iPod is over there
You bring us together.
When I am over here
And my Flip Ultra video camera is over there
You bring us together.
Everything I ask of you,
You provide.
Because of you, I no longer reach around to the back of my computer
To unplug something else in my USB hub
Drat! Knocking down the beverage on my desk
Cascading water like tears on all my worldly possessions.
Because of you, I hot swap.
Because of you, I am charged.
Because of you, I run at high speed.
Blessed USB extension cable.

Well now I have to buy it.

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This book on neuroplasticity will change the way you think about the way you think.

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"The six most surprising words a mother can say to her son are: 'Honey, I'm writing an erotic novel.'" The review states that said novel "uses vocabulary and describes activities of a sort that readers of The New York Times are usually shielded from." Because it is well known that sadists read the New York Post, while masochists read the Daily News.

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Authors, Poets Write the News

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I remember some of these from when I first read Poe as a kid.

Via Cynical-C.

Also: James Mason + Poe = Cartoon madness.

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Wayne's Worst Export, David Brooks, is trying to bring on the Snark in his review of Simon Schama's book, but in so dismissing it as a "Brilliant Book" (that's sarcasm!) he manages to perfectly describe his own jejeunery:

Some people collect stamps, and others butterflies, but I have a thing for Brilliant Books. The Brilliant Book is the sort of book written by a big thinker who comes to capture the American spirit while armed only with his own brilliance.

He usually comes during an election year so he can observe the spectacle of the campaign and peer into the nation's exposed soul. He visits the stationsof officially prescribed American exotica. He will enjoya moment of soulful rapture at a black church. He will venture out to an evangelical megachurch (and combine condescension with self-congratulationby bravely announcing to the world that these people are more human than you'd think). He will swing by and be brilliant in rambunctious Texas. He'll be brilliant in the farm belt, brilliant in Las Vegas, reverential in Selma and profound in Malibu.

Along the way, his writing will outstrip his reportage. And as his inability to come up with anything new to say about this country builds, his prose will grow more complex, emotive, gothic, desperate, overheated and nebulous until finally, about two-thirds of the way through, there will be a prose-poem of pure meaninglessness as his brilliance finally breaks loose from the tethers of observation and oozes across the page in a great, gopping goo of pure pretension.

These are the moments we Brilliant Book aficionados live for.

Well, then, you just keep on writing them, Mr. Brooks.

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"What's that book you're reading all about?" "Khaaaaaaaaaaaaan!" But seriously, I really enjoyed this history of the Mongol empire. Most of what you know about the Mongols (blood-thirsty, etc.) is based on disinformation that Genghis encouraged to strike fear into the hearts of his enemies. Weatherford is clearly pro-Genghis (and pro-Kublai), and details how he not only conquered most of Asia, but also remade his society along military lines, enforced religious tolerance, encouraged trade, and integrated technologies from across the empire.

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Douglas Rushkoff is excerpting his upcoming book Life Inc. How the World Became a Corporation and How to Take It Back over on BoingBoing. Apparently, we're neighbors -- he lives about five blocks away. And, like many before him, he finds the Slope (and the almighty Park Slope Parents listserv) to be indicative of What's Wrong With The World:

Park Slope, Brooklyn, is just a microcosm of the slippery slope upon which so many of us are finding ourselves these days. We live in a landscape tilted toward a set of behaviors and a way of making choices that go against our own better judgment, as well as our collective self-interest. Instead of collaborating with each other to ensure the best prospects for us all, we pursue short-term advantages over seemingly fixed resources through which we can compete more effectively against one another. In short, instead of acting like people, we act like corporations. When faced with a local mugging, the community of Park Slope first thought to protect its brand instead of its people.

First David Brooks and Wayne PA, now Rushkoff and Park Slope -- will the pundits never leave my neighborhoods alone?

But seriously, it looks like an interesting book on corporatism in modern life.

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Be forewarned: once you start reading this you may lose sleep. Not because it's scary or anything, but because you'll stay up late reading it. (Thanks, Emily, for lending me the book and making me consume that much more coffee.) Then when you finish it, you will shake your fist at the heavens when you learn that Patrick Rothfuss has not yet finished the second book. OK, so it's good. Doesn't break any new ground in fantasy (although the science/magic has a sort of steampunk, sort of Girl Genius feel to it), but it's a ripping good yarn.

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