Where I’m @
Most ch— girls I know didn’t think it was so great. — Accounting guy speaking about The Bourne Identity movie to a woman coworker, my office, July 2002
And then I hid gum inside CD cases . . . — passerby on Court Street, July 2002
I think she should have just left him after he brought two nitrogen tanks to our apartment and hid them there. — Greenpoint bank, June 2002(tip of the beret to Matt F-B)
That thing was mad comfy. — Lex Ave., June 2002
Hey, mind if I explore your C drive a bit? — my office, June 2002
He really likes big underwear. — Perlis clothing, New Orleans, LA, May 2002
Only heard one person’s half of this, but it was the good half:
How long has he been dead anyway? [beat] Oh, really? So he’s still kicking around? [beat] But he’s not making movies, anymore, right? — BAM Rose Cinemas, special imported print of
Jean-Luc Godard’s
Made in USA, March 2002
— Queens-bound F train, February 2002
So who ate all the pork chops, then? — one customer to another, Maybrook Diner, Maybrook, NY, March 2002
Drive the way you wish your children would. — Highway sign on Rte. 84 West near the New York state line, March 2002
That s———’s like being lashed with a whip! — 51st St. and 3rd Ave., Jan 2002
I wanted to do laundry last weekend, but then we had that protest on Saturday. — G train to Smith/9th Sts, Feb 2002
So I said, “Does she not shave in any place she’s supposed to?” — Billburg bar, Feb. 2002
Every Christmas I’m just like, “You’re all drunk and it’s another Cheever Christmas!” — Angel’s Share, Dec. 2001
Respectable looking woman who catches on her foot a piece of yellow “Police Line — Do Not Cross” tape near the corner of a building. She seems utterly oblivious, and turns the corner, so I never know whether she loses the tape or not. — seen on Park Avenue, Dec. 2001
It’s a cheese danish kind of day. — woman at a food cart to the vendor on a cold rainy day, Park Avenue, Dec. 2001
Santa Claus is watching you! — woman across the street to her screaming six-year-old, Brooklyn, Dec. 2001
She:
They treat those matadors like gods over there.
He:
You know, before ancient Greece, in the Minoan civilization, there were these guys who would grab the bull by the horns and somersault over them. — Park Slope, Dec. 2001 (tip of the beret to
Ishbadiddle)
Barely qualifies, but I heard a worker at my office pronounce the chain café of note as “Ah Bonn Payne”. This would be forgivable, had she not gone on to add that she eats
every lunch every day there — my office, Dec. 2001
That’s why you can’t put them in the back of your pants! — Merritt Parkway rest stop, Oct. 2001
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the “Stairway to Heaven” of rap, “Rapper’s Delight” from the Sugar Hill Gang — WKTU deejay (the guy in the cubicle behind me at work listens incessantly), Nov. 2001
Oh my god. That was the single best brie ever. — friend’s wedding, Oct. 2001
You know what they did to me? They cut my groin open! — drunk-sounding man at Sal’s Pizza on Court Street, August 2001
Keep me in mind for those costume jobs, all right?— one man to another at the Javits Center, Jul. 2001
...and he was, like, “Yo, my bank’s not open and I need a pair of socks.”— Greenwich Village passer-by, Jul. 2001
Those shoes look so comftahble.— Ms. 4" platform heels to Ms. 3" platform heels, a Mobil rest stop on the Grand Central Parkway, late Jun. 2001
Melanie, we can’t read a book now, it’s not book time yet.— from one adult woman to another, Times Square, Jun. 2001
So I says to him, “What the f——— is in your head?”— haggard-looking woman to male companion, morning C train, Jun. 2001
Magistrate :
So many ships from the West. Do you ever wonder about America?
Huang Fei-Hong :
America? I just know that if they really had all that gold, they wouldn’t bother coming here.— Once Upon a Time in China (1991, dir. Hark), Jun. 2001
Europeans inhale, like, opposite?— loud-talking guy on F train, Jun. 2001
Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a tune and I’ll try not to sing out of key. [Really. Said, not sung.]
— man on the street to his son, Apr. 2001
H HAWK
OATS US
— license plates seen while driving from Medfield, MA, to Brooklyn, USA
A:
Is Anthony Quinn dead?
B:
What?
A:
Is Anthony Quinn dead?
B:
I guess so.
A:
Huh.— treadmillers at the gym, May 2001
I thought you were smelling your hand again. — man at New Directors/New Films, Apr. 2001
I think that teaching ESL kids is much better . . . — woman at New Directors/New Films festival, Apr. 2001
A:
Did you watch the Grammys last night?
B:
Yes, and I was so, like, This is not my life.— women at the gym, on the treadmills behind me, Brooklyn, Feb. 2001
He’s invited me to watch that Judy Garland miniseries . . . he said it would be just like a Super Bowl party.— guy on the A train, West 4th St. stop, Feb. 2001
I really shouldn’t’ve smoked so much at my bachelor party. I think I was stoned my entire wedding.— man on the streets of the East Village, Dec. 2000
Raison d’être
There’s something about listening to other people’s conversations that I really dig. Some are Doppler conversations, a crescendo and diminuendo as they walk past you; some are bubblers, people who fade in and out of the ambient noise; and still others are only fragments because city folk tend to have some awareness of who might be in hearing distance. On the one hand it’s the sense of possibility that intrigues me. What were they talking about? How does that statement fit into some context? On the other hand, overheard conversations are great sources of natural comedy. Jean-Luc Godard has claimed of some of his movies, in particular Nouvelle vague, that there isn’t much original writing in them. And he wasn’t speaking in that “on-the-shoulders-of-giants” sense; he has freely admitted that most of the dialogue in that film was culled from philosophical texts, novels, and other public statements. Frankly, I think you could make a movie just off of what you can hear in the streets every day. Unfortunately, I only recently started writing down things I hear, and I don’t always have my PalmPilot easily accessible. Hence the relative paucity of lines here. But as I continue to listen and do try to keep writing materials about my person, this page should fill.
There are also things seen out of the corner of my eye or sights that just defy explanation, though I’ve been less keeping track of those.